Here's the way it is: the rich are getting richer. The poor are getting poorer. The middle class is disappearing. Prices are rising. Hope is fading. But uh... don't let it get you down.

Oversexed youth Courtney Stodden and her creepy actor husband Doug Hutchison have broken their silence on getting kicked out of a pumpkin patch for being too sexy.

Many years ago when you were young, back in 2006, a wizened old man named John McCain made a joke that Congress' approval rating was so low, "we're down to paid staffers and blood relatives."

This morning on bad idea ball pit Fox & Friends, the melting Crisco sculpture known as Gretchen Carlson got outraged over a new program that requires "translation assistance" for the non-English speaking parents of Cleveland public school students. Boy was she mad!

First Ashton Kutcher, then Leonardo DiCaprio, and now Bar Refaeli. The Israeli supermodel is helping to complete the tech industry's co-optation by pretty people now that she's taken a stake in an Israeli underwear e-tailer.

Tim Lovell and Theresa Hasselberg thought their brother Harold was among the eight unidentified victims of crazy clown serial killer John Wayne Gacy but it turns out he was alive in Florida the whole time. He just didn't want to talk to them!

Rick Perry has spent a few days going out of his way to question the validity of President Obama's birth certificate, either because he has actual doubts or just wants to make some jokes with Donald Trump.

How much LiLo will we see in Playboy? "The holy trifecta," TMZ reports. "Boobs, ass, and vag" according to TMZ's Playboy source.

One basic characteristic of journalism is this: its content is not bought and paid for and directed by an advertiser. It might be vapid. It might be poorly written. It might be damn near worthless. But it's not an advertisement.

The sturdy foundation of Mitt Romney is rattling more and more, as he prepares to explode. He is making 2008-style unforced errors with some regularity now!

In the wake of an international scandal in which a toddler was run over and left to die in the street, China's communist government is cracking down on public morals. Step one: banning reality television shows.

Christian Audigier, the founder of Ed Hardy and French-born creator of countless aesthetic blights on humanity, has listed both of his California dreamboat mansions.

Rajat Gupta, a former director of Goldman Sachs, was arrested this morning on federal insider trading charges. He's reportedly accused of, among other things, tipping off convicted billionaire Raj Rajaratnam to Warren Buffett's $5 billion investment in Goldman Sachs in 2008.

The Twitter-clone Vibe isn't the only app to come out of Occupy Wall Street.

Amy Winehouse's blood alcohol level was five times the legal driving limit when she died. Rob Pattinson wants Taylor Lautner's body. Lindsay Lohan's Playboy photoshoot "went well." Wednesday gossip alternates between sexy and sad.

H&M announced that it plans to create a line of clothing based on hacker-goth princess Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books. Don't they already sell her entire wardrobe at Hot Topic?

This actress thinks a baby bump will get her back in the tabloids. But who will be the father? This actress helps out a stranger, and this famous couple is having trouble on the set. Maybe a baby will help?

The Great American Mall has been dying for years and years now. So long, in fact, that many malls are actually dead now! And what are we to do with all of these empty mall building carcasses? Ah, glad you asked!

Here's the thing about the internet sites Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google: you do not need to read a magazine about them. For one thing, if you want to learn about them, you can simply type their address into your internet browser, and there they are, updated constantly, by the second, rather than monthly, as would be a case with a magazine. Want to know more? Why not read one of the thousands and thousands of blogs and online news sites that talk about them each and every day?

First, the bad news: Tuition at America's public colleges has increased by 8.3 percent over the past year. Now the good news: Your college degree is still worth every penny. In your dreams, I mean! In real life your degree is worth exactly one penny.