Now that the GOP primary season is finally over, Mitt Romney has rebooted his campaign like so many superhero movies. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart dipped his toe into the new general election and he found it wanting. Wanting for material that is.

The Wall Street Journal published a story Wednesday about a trend of companies encouraging their employees to organize their ideas and explain complicated concepts through "doodling."

Newt Gingrich has pledged to formally end his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination next week, a spokesman confirms. It's kind of like a straggling party guest creeping into your bedroom to let you know they're leaving now, even though you've been in bed for an hour.

According to today's Reuters story about eagle inspections by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, if there's one thing the U.S. needs, it's more dead-but-not-rotten eagles.

America's worst ambassador, Kermit the Frog, has come under fire for violating German law after he appeared on television hawking the theatrical release of his film The Muppets.

Nerd Coachella TED is bringing its trademark 18-minute Condensed Idea Nuggets™ to schools around the nation, with its new TED-ed platform. They may not know how to do math, but goddamn it our kids are going to learn how to beat a patent troll.

It's very simple, very direct. Fair and balanced.

While we've all been wringing our hands while trapped over here on this "side of the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) worrying about if and when the second dip of the Double Dip Recession With No Fucking Sprinkles™ would arrive, that clever old recession was slinking "across the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) to rear its ugly, stupid, money-sucking head in "Jolly" (not so jolly now I bet, ha) Olde Englande. From the NYT:

Joe Muto, formerly known as the Fox News Mole, reported on Twitter this morning that he received a visit from the District Attorney's office at 6:30 a.m. According to Muto, the warrant accuses him of grand larceny and conspiracy—WITH WHOM?—"amongst other things" in connection to his role as Gawker's Fox News correspondent, which lasted close to 36 hours. The DA's office took his laptop, an iPad, and an iPhone.

President Obama's much hyped appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon got off to a great start when the two, with help from the Roots, slow jammed the news. Pure gold.

A new psych study out of Wake Forest University has found that everyone's best side is their left side. Really.

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert uncovered a grave threat to the supremacy of the US dollar: Iceland is considering adopting Canada's currency as its own. Like all red blooded Americans, Colbert despises Canada - what with their fiscal sensibility and free healthcare - and vows not to let this stand.

In the wake of the hooker scandal that keeps getting worse for the Secret Service, some have been positing that if the Secret Service had more female agents this never would have happened. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart and correspondent Samantha Bee put that idea to the test.

Two men whose parents did not raise them well have been arrested in Utah after allegedly setting up potentially deadly homemade booby traps to ensnare travelers along a popular hiking trail.

Virginia Fike from Virginia […Fike] bought two lottery tickets from a truck stop a few weeks ago, one of which turned out to be worth a million dollars.

The New York Times featured an article yesterday about how outdoor clothing retailer Woolrich has begun selling a pair of $65 chinos specifically designed to make it easier to hide a handgun on your person, as part of the company's Elite Concealed Carry line.

Teens, the adolescent versions of Baby Geniuses, are known for having great ideas.

In the week before the premiere of HBO's Girls an average of 23 articles were published about the show every day. Veep, the network's other new half-hour comedy, was the subject of an average of 3.1 articles per day. (Data via Google Trends.) And yet Veep drew 1.7 million viewers for its premiere, while Girls picked up 1.1 million.

So then, it seems that Rutherford County property assessor Bill Boner finds himself the target of sexual harassment allegations. And yes, right on cue, all of you out there, the peanut gallery, the kindergarten chorus, all chuckle and snicker and make your clever puns about the man's name.

America: a land of improptu hoedowns. A land of beach sand sculpturemaking. A land of nonthreatening motorcycle gangs. A land of multicolored hats.