Technology might be democratizing information, but it hasn't ended the power of old money. Witness David Tisch, who jumped into tech investing with remarkably little experience under his belt. You might think his young, moneyed start had something to do with the $70 billion family business his grandfather built, but no! Tisch made his seed capital "from life." Listen and learn.

Hey, look, essayist and This American Life contributor Jon Ronson made a documentary about Rebecca Black and "Friday." It's actually really fun, with a funny cameo from Benni Cinkle aka That Girl In Pink.

Seven years (almost eight, at this point) after Janet Jackson's intentional "wardrobe malfunction" at the Super Bowl and the $550,000 fine leveled against CBS is still being argued in court. Just today an appeals court in Philly threw out the case. Now it might be headed back to the Supreme Court.

It's make or break time. Metastasizing corporate basketcase Groupon is going public Friday. Are stock investors crazy enough to value the unprofitable company at $11 billion?

A third woman has accused Herman Cain of "what she considered aggressive and unwanted behavior by Herman Cain" when she worked at the Herman Cain-led National Restaurant Association in the 1990s.

Occupy Oakland is calling for a general strike today, the first since 1946, according to the New York Times. A few thousand people have gathered in downtown Oakland for a march, and the San Francisco Chronicle reports 260 Oakland public school teachers didn't show up to work, not to mention the stark solidarity shown by the owners of this Men's Wearhouse. (!)

MSNBC has brought on noted idiot Meghan McCain as a political analyst, boosting their legacy stable of dolts spawned by famous political figures by a factor of two.

Remember credit default swaps? AIG? Hopelessly entangled exotic financial instruments tied to esoteric asset valuations that caused cascading defaults in 2008 and threatened to tank the global financial system unless taxpayers ate all the losses? Remember how we reformed Wall St. to make sure that never repeated itself? Someone tell Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan, and Morgan Stanley, because they've teed the whole damn thing up again, this time in Europe.

What is it with kids these days? Amirite? You know what I'm talking about. In this particular case, I'm talking about how kids in elementary and middle school have, sure, okay, improved their standardized test scores in math over the past two decades—but in reading, there's been only "modest improvement." Kids these days! From the NYT:

So many people think that the more Facebook friends they have, the better. Wrong! In an excerpt from his just released book You Are Not So Smart David McRaney explains "Dunbar's Number" and why trying to keep in touch with more than 150 people, even on Facebook, is a biological impossibility.

News that Justin Bieber was hit with a paternity suit by 20-year-old Mariah Yeater has shaken the Biebersphere to its very core. Could you believe that some Beliebers are not happy with the young woman who claims to have deflowered 17-year-old Bieber?

Fox & Friends co-host and celebrated public intellectual Brian Kilmeade could barely catch his breath today, as he shared the hot new rumor about Justin Bieber impregnating a lady.

In your wispy Wednesday media column: Jared Kushner's latest scheme, Michele Norris's replacement, the gradual death of print continues, Harper's Bazaar revamps, and Chris Matthews make a funny.

Sexy crypt keeper Lindsay Lohan is heading back to jail, Judge Stephanie Sautner announced today after finding the troubled starlet in violation of her probation yet again.

Judge William Adams—who became Internet Enemy No. 1 last night following the publication of a video showing him beating his disabled daughter—has spoken. He wants everyone to know that he apologized. And that the beating was "not as bad as it looks on tape."

Last night Oxygen's not-half-bad reality show The Glee Project finally invaded its big sister in a huge way: it introduced its first regular character. Meet Rory Flanagan, who Brittany thinks is a leprechaun.

Cover Miss Beasley's ears, because this might disturb her: pets simply are not affordable any longer. Dogs, cats—run free! And good luck out there.

Here's a new 90-seconder from the Democratic Super PAC Priorities USA highlighting all of the things that could go wrong if the country elects Satan as the next president. Or is that Mitt Romney? It's hard to tell, with all of the terror screams and thunder and all around evil atmosphere going on here.

After much berating, the Kardashian klan kracks and starts telling lies. Lindsay Lohan returns to court. Hugh Grant has a baby after a "fleeting affair" with a mystery woman. Denise Richards and Richie Sambora reunite. Wednesday gossip plays with semantics.

This heartless recession has stolen from America our most treasured national totems. Huge SUVs? Too gas-guzzling. Sprawling suburbs far removed from the "diverse" cities? Reduced to slums. And now, the recession is coming for our very homes.