It's a bleak landscape for the mighty black rhinoceros. The WWF announced this week that 353 of the endangered mammals, whose horn is incorrectly thought to have cancer-curing powers, have been poached this year alone, already exceeding the number poached in 2010. Current estimates put the total population of the species at 4,240.
Like thousands of New Yorkers, Dr. Anthony Marx, the 52-year-old president of the New York Public Library, was massively inconvenienced on Sunday by marathon road closures. No problemo! He just threw his Audi A4 (registered to the library) into reverse, floored it — and slammed it into a garbage truck on East 138th St.
The Wall Street Journal reports that Bill Daley, the man hired 10 months ago to turn the S.S. Obama around following the disastrous 2010 elections, is "shifting core responsibilities." Translation: He's being sidelined into a comfy "ambassadorial" position where he can't muck things up further for the beleaguered administration.
Why is Simon Eroro of the Papua New Guinea Post-Courier a great reporter? He's willing to do anything to chase after a hot tip—even if it means only a snippet of news. Also, he underwent a circumcision to secure an interview.
Jon Stewart opened tonight's Daily Show with a recap of the latest developments in Herman Cain's sexual harassment scandal, including the news that a fourth accuser had come forward to tell her story. Cain, of course, stuck to his "Blame the media" narrative." But as Stewart then explained, it's hard to make a point when the truth—unlike Fox News—isn't on your side.
What do presidents do when no one else can hear them? The same thing the rest of us do: complain about other people! Like on Monday, when President Obama and his French counterpart Nicolas Sarkozy were caught on microphone bitching about Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
The end of the world is apparently kicking off in Oklahoma! This weekend the Sooner State was rocked by two earthquakes (spurring a mass bird and bug exodus); today, it was on the receiving end of a somewhat more conventional natural disaster: tornados. Storm chaser Reed Timmer captured this way-too-up-close tornado photo from through his windshield near Tipton, Okla.; 17 counties in the state are under a tornado watch and the AP reports that the Oklahoma State University extension office was destroyed. Sooners, you need to move out of your state before a tsunami hits it. But wait until the tornados pass.
Mark Zuckerberg was once so obsessed with programming his girlfriend demanded a written contract guaranteeing alone time. But the Facebook CEO and ranking Borg commander on Planet Earth has, apparently, softened, telling Charlie Rose he spends long stretches with his girl, his dog, and their massive, empty mansion.
The freakshow oddity of Hollywood child bride Courtney Stodden and creepy actor husband Doug Hutchison has gone too far. Today, professional concern troll Dr. Drew subjected Courtney to televised breast examination. The goal: To prove scientifically whether or not her breasts are real.
Google proudly announced it's launching a special search engine to help veterans find jobs. That's a nice way to support returning servicemen. It's also a sop. The real way Google should help veterans is to pay its damned taxes.
I've seen two things on the internet today about whether or not people should accept friend requests from certain people. I thought this was an easy decision, but the cowed internet legions out there have turned it into an existential question that needs input from French philosophers. So, here's a handy guide on whether or not to hit "Confirm" or "Not Now."
Minor chords, broken hearts, and half-sung complaints about success from a dark corner of the party—yes, unibrow-slash-rapper Drake is back with Take Care.
Hey, everyone, President Barack Obama has officially not been secretly meeting with aliens. Thank God for the internet, which forced Obama to address this crucial issue.
Now that we've gotten Howard Kurtz out of the way, it's time to check in on America's other top arbiter of all things important, Rush Limbaugh, to see how he responded to Sharon Bialek's accusations of unwanted sexual advances (or assault) from Herman Cain. Limbaugh chose to focus on the pronunciation of her name: "Gloria Allred says her name is 'BI-uh-lick,' as in [SLURP SLURP] 'Buy-a-lick.'" Clear your schedules, everyone! It's going to be a fun week.
If you have to be alive in America today, you really want to be a wealthy middle-aged white male ensconced in an exurban hideaway surrounded by high walls and mile upon mile of coiled razor. What you don't want to be is... anything other than that. Until the revolution comes, at least.
