The Village Voice has problems. The paper had yet another round of layoffs last month, as part of a nationwide cull by its parent company. (Not to be confused with the other layoffs earlier this year.) Like most alt-weeklies, the Voice depends on sex and drug ads for its very survival. The paper's so desperate for revenue that it's suing Time Out NY for using the phrase "Best in NYC." You know that belongs to the Village Voice, right?

Former political person Sarah Palin, who's still performing her role as occasional whackadoodle on Fox News, went on last night to discuss the tragic case of former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky allegedly raping young boys for decades. She had a nuanced reaction to the whole affair, specifically that Jerry Sandusky should be lynched.

Jennifer and Heidi cry it out over a glass of wine. Amy Adams discusses her muffin top. Cameron Diaz is banging Diddy again. Timberlake busts Gosling's fauxhemian pose. Wednesday gossip is glad we had this talk.

This actress dropped the N bomb at the Victoria's Secret fashion show. This other actress knows her husband is cheating. And this couple is really a gay man and his beard. Wonder what sort of names our actress would call him!

We know what Starbucks is up to. First, they started clearing out all the laptop hobos who occupy tables for hours while nursing a single cup of coffee. And now, Starbucks is cutting back on its free public bathrooms. It's almost as if this multinational corporation only cares about money!

Here's a sick sight: Roger McNamee, the fabulously wealthy venture capitalist responsible for countless layoffs, wearing an "Occupy Wall Street" t-shirt at an invitation-only conference at a Ritz Carlton in Arizona. Silicon Valley's most obnoxious, sanctimonious caviar socialists have found their poster boy.

News from the front in Facebook's battle against the porn-and-gore spam that hit the site early this week. Facebook says it's triumphing over the Justin Bieber smut and animal snuff pics.

We've all been there. Sometimes when you're sitting in math class at your suburban Christian school, you idly wonder to yourself: Is my teacher masturbating behind that podium right now? You just never know.

Yesterday morning, a tipster pointed us to this Twitter posting about our favorite New York Post sex and hatred columnist: "Just saw Andrea Peyser say "Fuck you!" to a man questioning her attempted ambushing of a man who dared to (gasp!) bring a child to #OWS." Then another tipster sent us this photo of Andrea looking positively despondent down at OWS. Why the sour face, Andrea? Perhaps her column today holds some clues!

A Portland-area woman whose (hopefully ex-)boyfriend allegedly shot her in the head drove her own self to the goddamn hospital, thank you. For fun she wrestles dragons and rips phone books in half with her bare hands. [Image Shutterstock]

Today San Francisco's public art commission will decide whether to rescind the city's contracts with artist Tom Otterness, who in 1977 shot and killed a shelter dog "for art," then stopped shooting dogs and became a world-famous sculptor. Even though he only shot a poor, defenseless dog that one time, many San Franciscans don't want to fund his work.

Mariah Yeater, the 20-year-old woman who claimed that angelic pop prince Justin Bieber had impregnated her during an unromantic, 30-second statutorily rapey tryst, "quietly" dismissed her paternity suit last week, TMZ reports. She also lost her lawyers' support.

Lady Marmalade, The Soul of Philadelphia, the one, the only, Miss Patti LaBelle: Get your kids the fuck away from her. That's the only reasonable takeaway, really, from a lawsuit filed against the singer by a family who lived in the same, Trump-owned tenement structure on the Upper West Side as LaBelle.

After her unintentionally horrible music video for "Friday" gripped the nation, Rebecca Black attempted to go legit with "This Is My Moment." Now we have "Person of Interest," Black's inane new teen pop pseudo-love anthem, which is set in an arcade and features the line, "Can't deny you're implicated in a mayhem in my mind." Pure poetry!

Hey guys, the Secret Service just wanted to know how a bullet wound up being fired through a White House window. No biggie! The bulletproof glass made sure the bullet didn't go inside the White House, but all the same, they'd really like to know how it got there.

Life.com has gone through the stacks and picked out Life Magazine's 20 Worst Covers. Lute players, creepy marionettes, men in top hats and stilts, 6-year-old boys in suits of armor — it's like Lindsay Lohan's Sweet 16 all over again!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck had quite a bone to pick with Bill Maher on The View this morning about a joke he'd told about her months ago, and pick it she did. One would think he'd mind being attacked, but on tonight's Late Show, Maher told David Letterman he was actually pleased with how she reacted: "Thank you, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, for making me look good!"

In an early morning raid on Tuesday, NYPD officers began removing Occupy Wall Street protesters from Manhattan's Zuccotti Park. The eviction drew negative reactions from many, but on tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert celebrated the cleanup: "The founders never intended indefinite free speech; they assumed that, after two weeks, any protest would be wiped out by smallpox."

A new study indicates that young children with high IQs are significantly more likely to have done illegal drugs later in life, even when controlling for other factors. So you finally have a comeback when your dad says Why do you think they call it dope?!

In an unbearable phone interview with Bob Costas on last night's Rock Center, accused Penn State child rapist Jerry Sandusky kinda-sorta denied being sexually attracted to young boys. On tonight's Daily Show, an indignant Jon Stewart unloaded on Sandusky: "You can't even bring yourself to lie emphatically!"