The ambitious Spanish sandwich chain 100 Montaditos plans to out-Starbucks Starbucks in the rapid growth department by building 4,000 restaurants in the U.S. over the next five years. Could a European company actually pull off such a feat?

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, 23 million Americans live in "food deserts," low-income areas without "ready access" to grocery stores. This, however, is not why Americans are so fat, according to a University of North Carolina study of long-term eating habits and summarized in The Week:

Well, this upends everything I thought I knew about Scandinavians and children of privilege: Gustaf Reinfeldt, 18-year-old son of the Swedish prime minister Fredrik Reinfeldt, recently got a job flipping burgers at a McDonald's in Stockholm.

Dunkin Donuts may finally have found the edge it needs to cripple Starbucks and Krispy Kreme: Prostitutes. And also ATM hacking. Just the thing to pump up that stock!

Perhaps the only thing worse than discovering spiders hiding in your Domino's pizza is biting down on your Pizza Hut pizza and finding a Band-Aid caked with dried blood in your mouth. Of course, the latter could never happen, right?

While Happy Meals are getting ever-so-slightly healthier with the token addition of apple slices and milk, over in France, McDonald's restaurants are operating on another culinary plane entirely.

Citizens of Las Cruces, NM and protectors of decency everywhere are outraged after a photo surfaced in which Chuck E. Cheese, known mouse pizza mascot, appeared to be giving "The Finger" while posing for a photo with a 4-year-old boy.

McDonald's, which for years has played wicked witch to our plump little Hansels and Gretles, has announced that they are making their happy meals a bit healthier. Will this keep our children from having their first aneurisms at 12 years-old?

What happens when you leave Chicken McNuggets in your car in the the Gila Wilderness of New Mexico? Leroy Griego knows: "A bear destroyed my car looking for Chicken McNuggets," he told Las Cruces Sun-News. And after surveying the damage Dennis O'Keefe, a local bookshop owner who saw Griego's mangled car, chimed in:

Despite threats from the U.S. State Department last summer that Kim Jong-il would no longer be able to buy jet skis and Iranian caviar, he's still shelling out millions of dollars on everything from Rolex watches to Gucci handbags for his top officials and he's even having McDonald's delivered by airplane from China, according to the Korea Herald.

America is little more than prairie riddled with chain stores and fast food restaurants, so when a big national store it's bankrupt, it's a bit like losing a vapid but beloved family member. We just lost Borders. Is Quiznos next?

Is there anything more gratifying than quitting a crappy job in dramatic, bridge-incinerating fashion? I don't think there is! But maybe we could ask Adam, former Taco Bell shift manager, since he seems to have some experience in that department. Adam submitted his sign-based resignation ("I QUIT - ADAM/FUCK YOU :)") on Thursday night; apparently he was upset that he was denied time off on July 4, despite having worked 22 days in a row. [WIVB via Fark]

Having already brought you horrifying true stories of fried rats and poop and murder, we return today with our third and final installment of Kitchen Nightmares: Do not read while eating! Really, don't. Seriously.

You can't accuse Big Food companies of failing to care about America's health. If Americans die, who will buy all the Cheetos and Kool Aid, for example? That's why Big Food is willing to make minor cosmetic concessions—for you!

Yesterday, we brought you true stories of restaurant horror, courtesy of you, the grease-stained Gawker readership. Today: ten more tales of skeevy managers, bodily fluids, and stone cold murder.

Yesterday, we asked you, the ketchup-stained Gawker readership, for your horror stories of working in restaurants. My, did you fail to disappoint! Below, ten tales of glory.

Our nation's fast food outlets are all in that "teenage phase" right now, in which they all try to "find themselves" by trying on various new identities. Denny's is a "diner. Panera is a hippie haven. Everywhere else is now a "cafe." The only thing that our nation's fast food outlets can all agree on: they need more drunk people on their premises.

Americans are a proud people. So even when we are completely broke, as we are now, we still demand that our natural fantasies of class and superiority be indulged. Welcome to the crappy cheap food place cafe, sir.

Just last month we were all planking on top of cop cars and camels, reacquainting ourselves with the joy and sense of wonderment that we knew as children. Now it's time for Cone-ing: a new "craze" that involves fast-food ice cream cones and cold hands.

Papaya King, the red and orange hot dog emporium that has been adding heartburn to Manhattanites' hangovers for decades, finally opened a branch in Los Angeles. So far there are lines out the block for the New York chain's famous hot dogs. Does this mean we're finally going to get an In 'N' Out Burger?