[A Maria Bonita Extra dress is modeled at a fashion show in Rio de Janeiro yesterday. Where are the model's legs? Image via AP]

• Despite the rumors in recent weeks, Olivier Theyskens says he's staying at Nina Ricci. [WWD]
• Alexander Wang's new mentor is Diane von Furstenberg. [Vogue UK]
• More designers are looking to hold their Fashion Week shows off-site to save cash. [WWD]
• A gallery of celeb hairdos and don'ts. [Guardian]
• Pixie Geldof is following in her big sister's footsteps: She'll be modeling for Agent Provocateur. [Fashionista]
• Yet another depressing article about the state of retail. [NYT]
• Here's a tragic byproduct of the tough economic times in which we now find ourselves: It's getting harder to get approved for boob-job loans! [NYM]

Although there's rarely any accounting for the taste of the gays who run the fashion industry, the ridiculous success of an English androygyne who's neither beautiful nor tall is one of this decade's bigger mysteries, even factoring in the admittedly significant effect of launching a hair trend. But as the modeling phenom formerly known as Laura Hollins explains in an interview, it's all thanks to numerology!

• Gisele is engaged. [People]
• Fur is back. Jean Paul Gaultier, Karl Lagerfeld and Giorgio Armani are among the designers leading the rebellion. [Ind.]
• Despite the recession (and a gazillion lawsuits), American Apparel is one of the few retailers seeing record profits. [WWD]
• Sass & Bide has dropped out of New York Fashion Week. [Fashionista]
• With marketing budgets on the decline, more designers are looking for a boost from Hollywood's awards season. [WSJ]
• Menswear designer Ferruccio Pozzoni is departing Valentino. [Reuters]
• As expected, vacancies are up on Madison Avenue. [Crain's]
• The worst of the worst from the Stephen Sprouse party last week. [Pipeline]
• Rumor has it Elite is cutting both models and bookers. [NYM]
• Blake Lively refuses to wear anything but a size zero. The solution? The Gossip Girl costume department cuts the tags out of larger samples. [FWD]

Oh, to create a musky scent that cries out to the world: "I am from Brooklyn." Bond No. 9 is giving it a shot, with edgy results:

• Yes, Karolina Kurkova does indeed have a weight problem, but that's because she suffers from hypothyroidism. Satisfied now? [Fox News]
• Brooks Brothers' Fifth Avenue flagship is closing at the end of January. [Racked]
• Searle has gone bankrupt. [Fashionista, CNY]
• Peter Som won't be showing at Fashion Week, but buyers and the press may still get a peek. [NYM]
• Tag Heuer has tapped Leonardo DiCaprio as its new ambassador. [WWD]
• A look at 100 years of bob haircuts. [Pipeline]
• Daisy Fuentes is starting a hair care line. [WWD]
• A fire broke out at Topshop's future Soho location last night. The damage was minimal, but presumably it will serve as a handy excuse if Topshop needs to push back the opening once again. [Nylon, NYM]

• Can Michelle Obama single-handedly save America's fashion industry? Here's hoping! [NYT]
• Following the horrific holiday season, Macy's says it plans to close 11 stores in nine states. [AP]
• Communist chic is in. And just in time for the collapse of the capitalist system, too! [NYT]
• William Rast, the brand backed by Justin Timberlake, will make its Bryant Park debut next month. JT will not be performing, though. [WWD]
• Peter Som and backer Creative Design Studios have parted ways. Because of the split (and the economy), a Som show during Fashion Week is not in the cards. [WWD]
• Eight designers you need to know in 2009. [Refinery29]
• Obedient Sons & Daughters is closing its doors. [Style.com]
• New York magazine's fashion-centric biannual spinoff title, New York Look, has been discontinued. [WWD]

Drop your razors, fashionable young men: the New York Times reports that mustaches are back—in style! Somehow this story sounds vaguely... familiar:

Good news for Italian fashion mogul Valentino! Although London's Evening Standard reported yesterday that the golden-hued designer had been a victim of Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme, Valentino's reps have denied the account to WWD: "A spokeswoman for Valentino said Wednesday that neither the designer nor his longtime business partner Giancarlo Giammetti has any links whatsoever to Bernard Madoff." [WWD]

Anna Wintour to become ambassador to England or France?

Good luck, Michelle Obama. It's not enough to be reminiscent of Jackie Kennedy; now you have to sell clothes like her, except in a huge recession.

Media elites call Anna Wintour's Vogue editorship stale, but after 20 years some in the creative underclass have grown attached. Or maybe, like Wintour, they've learned celebrities sell clothing.

Considering Barack Obama offered the job of Surgeon General to CNN's Sanjay Gupta, it's only to be expected that some equally surprising political appointments would get bandied about. Here's another one you can add to the list: Rumor has it that Obama is thinking about naming Anna Wintour as his ambassador to England or France, at least according to the "extremely insider rumors" picked up by Fashion Week Daily. Excellent choice! Not only will it go a long way to restoring America's reputation on the European continent, it will functions as the perfect exit strategy for Anna as Vogue continues its downward descent!

• Vivienne Westwood may have designed Carrie's wedding dress for the first Sex and the City movie, but she'd like to write the script for the sequel, and she's even written to Sarah Jessica Parker to make her case. [Telegraph]
• Tracy Feith is the latest designer who has been tapped to do a line for Target. [WWD]
• Fern Mallis says IMG has confirmed 52 designers— including Calvin Klein, Donna Karan and Michael Kors—for Fashion Week in February. [WSJ]
• Marchesa will be showing, too. [Fashionista]
• Photos of Isaac Mizrahi's new collection for Liz Claiborne. [Pipeline]
• Go alert your mom: Carolina Herrera says long hair after 40 is "out" in her book. "Women need to learn how to age gracefully." [Times UK]

Have you noticed how Diane von Furstenberg is mentioned every five seconds on The City? Of course you have: That's where Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo spend their days "working"! But in case you've been ogling DVF's clothes on the show and you've been disappointed to find out that most of the items are no longer available, DVF comes to the rescue with possible alternatives:

We're but days into a new year, but already a landmark human rights milestone has been reached: Straight men who secretly wear pantyhose are finally stepping out of the shadows and embracing their long-stigmatized choice. Yes, the era of "mantyhose" is upon us, and not a second too soon for guys like Mack, 35, who for years "wore women's pantyhose under his clothes to keep him warm while he worked as a landscaper," but now can wear special men's tights like Comfilon's Activeskin Legwear for Men every day, even though he doesn't actually work outdoors any longer. They're just nice and comfortable, OK?

• If you were thinking you were the only person fed up with Agyness Deyn, you'll undoubtedly be happy to hear that BBC viewers have named her the "Most Annoying Person of 2008." [NYM]
• Marc Jacobs is planning to open yet another store in the West Village, believe it or not. [WWD]
• Because the '70s never go out of style, the Paco Rabanne brand may stage a comeback. [Vogue UK]
• Two more designers have bowed out of Fashion Week in February. [WSJ]
• Oscar de la Renta, meanwhile, has added a second show to the lineup. [FWD]
• Anne Hathaway has new extensions to go with her oversized smile. [Style]
• Former Vogue cover girl Liskula Cohen is most unhappy that some people have been calling her a "skank" and ''ho" on the Web. [NYP]
• Urban Outfitters is planning a giant store for the UWS. [NYP, NYT]

Winter vacation is over (for most people, at least), but if the holidays left you with a depressing spare tire around your midsection and you need a reminder that nature doesn't discriminate—and plastic surgeons aren't miracle workers—the third picture from the left should boost your spirits. The identities of the four designers after the jump.

• Why is Karl Lagerfeld pro-fur? Because if we didn't kill animals, they'd kill us, naturally. Oh, and don't complain about skinny models until the "zillions" of fat people get "taken care" of. [Telegraph]
• Don't hold your breath, but Topshop has scheduled its opening party for March 26. [NYM]
• Gemma Ward is taking a break from acting to return to modeling full-time. [Sassybella]
• Ecco Domani's annual Fashion Foundation award winners have been announced. [WWD]
• Claudia Schiffer is launching a line of beauty products. [DM]
• Fashion mags are very thin this month, in case you haven't noticed. [NYT]

Ad Creep installment #563: "Crotchvertising," to sell garish watches. The only shocking thing here is that Dov Charney is not involved somehow. [Trendhunter]