The Way We Live Now: Emasculated. Figuratively, as The Man gives us a few extra pennies in Welfare even as cops yank our falafel-cart permit; and literally, because the fashion industry must sell skinny jeans until all balls are crushed.

Chanel, the legendary fashion brand run by Mugatu-esque overlord/enemy to Heidi Klums everywhere, Karl Lagerfeld, is pissed. They let everyone know how much they cringe when you use their name to refer to anything but Chanel. Dare speaketh Chanel?!

Because Dov Charney is a hero to immigrants, The Man is all up in his business, trying to point out nitpicky technical "violations," like the fact that 1,800 of his employees are illegal. Jeez.

• Betsey Johnson reports that she's thinking about retiring this fall. She plans to hand over the reigns to Eric Sartori. At least assuming he manages to "Betsey-fy himself," that is. [Cut]
• Kanye West's line of sneakers for Louis Vuitton has been delayed, but photos of the $700 kicks can now be viewed online. [Racked]
• Lauren Conrad, Mandy Moore, Jennifer Lopez: These are not very good times for celebrities-turned-designers, as you may have heard. Not that the bad news is stopping J.Lo from launching yet another fragrance, of course. [ABC News, People]

• Coco Rocha may have only been "observing" at Vogue a few weeks ago, but Chanel Iman says she actually spent past of last week interning at Teen Vogue. [Fashionologie, Grazia]
• Is the Costume Institute Gala planning a new approach next year? Some insiders tell the Daily it will be a "much less splashy affair" the next time around, with more benefactors in attendance and fewer models and celebrities. [FWD]
• A couple of weeks ago, it seemed Esteban Cortazar had decided to split with Emanuel Ungaro. Now it looks like he's staying put. For the moment, at least. [WWD, Cut]
• An interview with Stacey Bendet, whose alice + olivia line now rakes in more $50 million a year, she says. [ObsessedTV]

In your overwhelmed Friday media column: Iran just arrests everyone, for reporting, Conde Nast's September prayers will not be answered, a new chairman at the FCC, and the Mark Sanford source remains at large.

The trailer for The September Issue, the forthcoming documentary about Vogue editrix Anna Wintour, is now online. From the two-minute clip, there's plenty in the movie for Anna to like. (She's described as "the single most important figure in the $350 billion global fashion industry.") But there are clearly bits that may come back to haunt her. (A crack about blind people may not go over well.) The movie doesn't come out until September (naturally), although bootlegged copies are making the rounds. Think twice, though, if you plan to weigh in on Facebook. Anna is monitoring your every word. [YouTube, Page Six]

• Another celebrity clothing line bites the dust: Jennifer Lopez's Sweetface is going on "hiatus" after this season. It's the third Lopez label to disappear in recent years, although in the case of Sweetface, there's always a chance it could return, so at least J.Lo has a glimmer of hope to hold on to. [WWD, Cut]
• A recap of what you missed at Milan Men's Fashion Week, which ended on Tuesday. [WWDb]
• Bar Refaeli will be the new face of Garnier Fructis hair care products. [AHN]

• Stylist Pat Field may not take part in the Sex and the City sequel—it seems she can't bear the idea of Carrie Bradshaw going from "fashionista to recessionista." But she does have a bit of advice for Susan Boyle, which is nice. [Grazia]
• The return to scarcity: Saks and Neiman Marcus report they're ordering a lot less inventory than they did last year, not surprisingly. [Bloomberg]
• The Rachel Zoe Project returns to the air on August 25. [Fashionologie]

• The Calvin Klein billboard in Soho that has caused a bit of controversy recently has been replaced. Of course, just swapping out the ads could be part of the company's PR strategy to keep people talking about the ad campaign, in which case, well, it worked nicely. [GoaG]
• Rumor has it Anna Wintour has offered a Vogue internship to Prince William's girlfriend, Kate Middleton. [Grazia]
• Rumor also has it Emma Watson is designing a teen line. [Fashionista]
• Olivia Palermo plans to model now: She's signed with Wilhelmina. [P6]
• Isaac Mizrahi is opening a store on the Upper East Side in August. [WWD]

Marc Jacobs has said he plans to tie the knot with Lorenzo Martone sometime this summer in Provincetown. But when? It doesn't really matter, of course, since you're not invited. But it will take place at some point over the next couple of months, and Provincetown is where it'll go down, according to a "source close to the couple" who spoke with WWD this week. But what if you are one of the lucky few who will be attending the most glam gay wedding ever? First off, you should know that you will not be able to just swoop down in your private jet: The Provincetown airport is a small one, which means "Jacobs' globe-trotting guests may have to travel to the Cape the old fashioned way: by boat." A horrifying prospect, yes. But a more daunting issue may be what to get the couple as a wedding gift. Fortunately, Fashion Week Daily has sorted it all out. You can look over some suggestions after the jump.

• Voguette and social fixture Lauren Santo Domingo is branching out into modeling, apparently. [FashionCopious via Pipeline]
• Madonna's very special friend Jesus Luz is very much front and center for Dolce & Gabbana this season. [Telegraph]
• Kira Plastinina, the teenage designer and daughter of a Russian oligarch whose business went bust last year, may be preparing to return to the U.S. [WWD]
• Elle is launching its own online video channel. [Fashionista]
• Jack and Lazaro guest-edited the latest issue of A Magazine. [NYT]
• Beth Ditto has a new plus-size line and she isn't the only one. [NYT]
• Temperley is opening a pop-up shop in the Hamptons. [WWD]
• The first online D&G store makes its debut on June 23. [WWD]
• Roberto Cavalli and Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza had "a 15-minute conversation with a homeless man" after dining at Nobu. The mind reels. [P6]

• Topshop is offering free bike rentals beginning this Saturday, strangely. [SF]
• Jimmy Choo is the latest brand to climb into bed with H&M. [WWD, SW]
• Helena Christensen is designing a linens line, apparently. [Cut]
• Sophia Kokosalaki is taking over Diesel's Black Gold line. [Vogue UK]
• Is Vera Wang really going to be on Dancing With the Stars? Maybe! [Cut]
• Simon Doonan on the state of things: "Fashion is currently going through a John the Baptist hair-shirt kind of period. Self-indulgence has been replaced by self-flagellation. All I can say is, 'Stop it, girls! Stop it before it's too late.'" [NYO]

• More on the winners and losers—both at the dinner and on the red carpet—at last night's CFDA Awards. [NYT, FWD, Cut, TDB, Pipeline]
• Not surprisingly, the powers that be at Calvin Klein aren't the least bit displeased by the new controversy surrounding their not-so-new ad campaign for the company's jeans line. [Cut]
• Say it ain't so: Britain's Mirror reports Agyness Deyn is "quitting modeling and New York and coming home to concentrate on her acting career." [Mirror]
• Because he's willing to do whatever it takes to ensure you see his movie when it comes out, Sacha Baron Cohen appears in the buff on GQ's new cover. [GQ]

A few more photos from last night's CFDA Awards after the jump.

The ground zero of Size Zero is here. Alexandra Shulman, the editor of British Vogue, called out a bunch of prominent fashion designers for encouraging Size Zero models. In a strongly-worded letter to them, she wrote:

The most exciting beef of the weekend has arrived: Mugatu inspiration Karl Lagerfeld and Heidi Klum are having a war of words.

It seems Karl Lagerfeld's obnoxious comments about Heidi Klum a couple of months ago didn't communicate the bitchy message he'd intended to send, so now he's going back for another shot. After dismissing Klum as a nobody (which is what he also said back in February), the Chanel designer went after Klum's husband, Seal, too: "I am no dermatologist but I wouldn't want his skin. Mine looks better than his. He is covered in craters." We can't say we've ever thought a little German unity would be a good thing. But, hey, there's a first for everything. [The Sun]

• Coco Rocha may not be interning at Vogue this summer, but Tallulah Belle Willis, the 15-year-old daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, is spending the next couple of months "shadowing" at Harper's Bazaar. [FWD, WWD]
• Goodwill stores are experiencing a boom, as you may have heard. Sales were up 7 percent in the first three months of 2009 compared to the same time period last year. [NYT]
• The fragrance industry introduces an average of 250 scents ever year. And you know what? That's probably a few too many. [NYT]