Ah, the September Issues—when fashion magazines sell more ads than any other month, and staffers gorge themselves on parsley, in celebration. How are the September ad sales looking this year? Not too fab. Especially for Vogue.

You know when the Sunday New York Times profiles Diane Von Furstenberg - fashion designer, wife of heterosexual business owner Barry Diller - they're going to deliver. And oh, did they. Welcome to Diane Von Furstenberg's Secrets to Success.

• A group of 21 stores on the Lower East Side are coming together to offer a weekend of discounts in honor of the (capsule) trade show that's currently underway. [Pipeline, Cut]
• Modeling rates really must falling: A Hugo Boss model has been charged for taking part in the robberies of 15 gas stations and delis. [NYP]
• Eddie Bauer will survive, after all. A private equity firm is buying the company out of bankruptcy for a whopping $284 million. [BN]
• Rihanna half-shaved her head this week. Exciting! Don't think for a moment, though, it was an original move on Rihanna's part, says an outraged Joe Zee of Elle. [People, Twitter]

Life sucks. Everyone knows this. Of course, life sucks most for the models. All those castings and photo shoots and cocaine-fueled orgies and whatnot! How do they do it?! Well, things are finally looking up, thanks to the "Model Lounge."

• Eyebrows are no longer cool, apparently. Time to invest in a new pair of tweezers! [NYT]
• The CFDA and Vogue announced the 2009 Fashion Fund finalists today. [Vogue, Cut]
• Back in May, it was rumored that Stefano Tonchi, editor of the Times' rapidly shrinking T magazine, was heading out the door. Now the rumor is he's taking a top job at Vogue. [FWD]
• No, Baywatch wasn't filming in Soho today. The dudes dressed as lifeguards were promoting the new Hollister store on Broadway and Houston, which officially opened today. [Racked]

• A notorious group of "gem raiders" hit the Cartier in Cannes yesterday and made off with more than $20 million in merchandise. What probably should have been a tip-off that something was amiss: the robbers were all clad in Hawaiian shirts. [Telegraph, Sun]
• Balmain may be getting into the handbag biz. [WWD]
• Big things are planned for Fashion's Night Out, the extravaganza that takes place this September and is designed to get people shopping again. Anna Wintour's brainchild will "involve a cornucopia of in-store events, from parties to personal appearances by designers and celebrities, live music, fashion shows, freebies, charity tie-ins, and extended shopping hours." [WWD]

Dolce & Gabbana publicist Ali Wise is facing a few felony charges for allegedly hacking into the voice mail of interior designer Nina Freudenberger. And there appear to be other victims of Wise's electronic crime spree, including a fashion designer named Briana Rasinski, according to today's Post. But Wise has at least one friend who's got her back: Stacey Bendet, the founder of alice + olivia. Judging by her comments, we're going to go ahead and assume that Freudenberger will not be asked to design the next home that Bendet and her husband Eric Eisner move into:

The 270,000 square-foot space on 23rd street that once housed Marc Ecko's headquarters before he pissed away his fortune is now up for rent. Anyone have $9 million per year to spare?

A selection from Italian stylist Gattinoni's fall-winter 2009-2010 high fashion collection is worn by a model in Rome. [AP/Pier Paolo Cito]

• Kate Moss is teaming up with Topshop boss Philip Green and Simon Cowell to launch an entertainment conglomerate that will "rival Disney." At least that's what one British newspaper is reporting. [Daily Mail]
• Sad: Escada may be forced to file for bankruptcy in the near future. [Vogue UK, Fashionista]
• Sadder: Jon Gosselin may be teaming up with Christian Audigier to launch a kids' clothing line. [E!]
• Saddest: The rumor floating around Moscow is that Pop editor/It girl Dasha Zhukova and her billionaire boyfriend, Roman Abramovich, have gone their separate ways. [FWD]

Marc Ecko's financial troubles are nothing new. Back in March, it was reported that the hip hop designer was looking to refinance more than $170 million in debt, but was having so trouble doing so that it was looking increasingly likely that his empire would have to be dismantled to pay back in creditors; a month later, his publicist confirmed that Ecko was looking to get out of the blingtastic office he's occupied for the last few years, a 280,000-square-foot space on West 23rd Street that comes with a half-size basketball court. It seems things haven't improved much since then. Ecko's office, which apparently costs him a stunning $9 million a year to lease, is now officially on the market. But Ecko's pain may be your gain. The listing on the website of commercial leasing firm FirstService Williams says the "price is negotiable." If you're looking for new office space and you think having an in-house basketball court would be perfect for some of those "team-building" exercises the people in human resources keep talking about, you'll find a few photos of the space after the jump.

SoHo's full of all kinds of interesting creatures going shopping on a Saturday afternoon: celebrities, locals, foreign tourists. Competition for their patronage is stiff. But now, John Varvatos can lay claim to the awesome, hot new clientele in town: raccoons!

Over the past couple of weeks, Cityfile correspondent Douglas Marshall has asked a few figures in fashion about their plans for the summer. What Chanel Iman, Fern Mallis, Thom Browne, Minnie Mortimer Gaghan, and Bonnie Morrison had to say below.

If you were thinking you could save a little money by canceling your gym membership and lifting the September issue of Vogue over your head in sets of 10, well, you're probably going to need to come up with a new plan: "You won't need a forklift to pick up those typically thump-heavy September fashion magazines this year. As publishers approach their closing deadlines next week, most are resigned to the fact that the issues will be about a third lighter than in years past." [WWD]

• How did a fish-and-chips waitress named Laura Hollins transform herself into supermodel Agyness Deyn? Cintra Wilson reports. [NYT]
• Crisis averted! The $5,950 alligator clutch that some people thought Michelle Obama was carrying in Russia earlier this week was a much more modest $875 leather one. [NYDN]
• Say hello to the 16 contestants who will be making it work (or not) when the new season of Project Runway debuts next month. [People]

French designer Eric Tibusch's designs were on display at the Haute Couture fashion show in Paris. [AP/Thibault Camus]

Agyness Deyn is, like, such a rebel. She's a model who is so unmodel-y. She, like, hates fashion! And she, like, lives in East Village and wears Converse sneakers and quirky hats and smoke Parliaments. She's, like, so unique!

Not only is Karl Lagerfeld not planning to retire until the day he has to be hauled out of Chanel's offices in a bodybag, he also isn't going to restrain himself from making bitchy comments to reporters. A couple of weeks ago, the Kaiser staged a verbal assault on Heidi Klum and Seal. Today he delivers a milder attack on Audrey Tautou, who stars in Chanel's new TV commercial for Chanel No. 5, but had the audacity to suggest recently that she doesn't actually wear the label from head-to-toe every day. Karl's response? Among other things, he says he wishes he'd recommended Penelope Cruz for the perfume campaign instead. [WWD]

• Not only is Karl Lagerfeld not planning on retiring, he tells Cathy Horyn that he's staying at Chanel until he dies. Also: He says the blogger who started the rumor that he's stepping down "is an idiot." [NYT]
• The Jackson clan all wore Versace to the memorial service today, in case you were wondering. [InStyle]
• Roberto Cavalli is launching a made-to-measure service that will offer handmade dresses at prices starting at $41,000. But only 35 pieces will be produced. Act fast! [WWD]
• There's uncertainty in the world of haute couture these days. Shocker. [NYT]
• W catches up with the Rodarte ladies. [W]
• The super-successful Saks saleswoman who lined her own pockets via fake refunds and store credits was sentenced to three months in prison. [NYP]
• Several ex-employees of Scoop are suing the chain for labor violations. [CNY]
• The Calvin Klein Jeans billboard on Houston is now even less risqué. [BB]

• In the market for a $40,000 dress? Better jump on a plane to Paris. Haute Couture Week kicked off today. [AP, Vogue UK, Independent, FWD]
• The situation at Christian Lacroix, which filed for bankruptcy a few weeks back, is getting bleaker by the day: The company may be reduced from 124 employees to 12 if a buyer doesn't materialize soon. [WWD, Cut]
• The JCPenney at the Manhattan Mall opens in a mere 25 days. Don't forget to update your cousins in Omaha so they can mark their calendars. [Racked]
• Roberto Cavalli claims he never pays attention to costs ("I don't know anything about the financial crisis"), thinks Dubai is "a city for the future," and says all he really wants is to be loved. So, yes, he's human. [Times UK]
• Elle's Joe Zee is now tweeting, just so you know. [Twitter]