Julia Allison is sick and tired of the anonymous online critic who maintains a blog devoted entirely to criticizing her. "This woman checks my tumblr, my flickr, my vimeo, my twitter... as well as all of the things my girl friends post, and spends a good portion of her time (time which could otherwise be spent engaged in fun and useful activities, such as tennis, horseback riding or archery!) penning long, bitchy, link-ridden items 'analyzing' my life." Which sounds a lot like a the job description of a Gawker blogger, except the woman in question is anonymous and probably doesn't get paid. Which is outrageous! Star editor-at-large Allison said she knows the identity of her critic and is wondering what to do with it:

The standard of self-incriminating over-sharing necessary to make a splash in the New York media world has risen so much in this post-Julia Allison world. So what's an aspiring fameball to do? Literally whore herself out for a good story? Well. Former New York Press sex columnist and tit-obsessive Kelly Kreth recently went to a swingers club to remind us all that she looks good naked, enjoys girl-on-girl action, and is available for freelance work. Anything to get your name out there. Proof of Kreth's commitment to becoming a media celebrity after the jump.

Eliot Spitzer's favorite call girl, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, has finally hired a PR firm. Why she waited so long, we have no idea. If she wanted help fending off media coverage, she would have done well to hire somebody as soon as the story broke; likewise, if she's planning on capitalizing on the scandal to build her own personal brand, she'll need to strike while the iron is hot. Which was about three weeks ago. The Daily News reported that she hired Susan Blond Inc., an entertainment-heavy NYC firm whose client list has included Ice Cube, Britney Spears, David Bowie, and Criss Angel, among many others. I smell a second-rate music career about to be launched! So who is Susan Blond? An Andy Warhol theory come to life.

John Layfield was not genetically engineered to be a talking head on Fox Business Network, but he might as well have been. He's a 6-foot-6 former professional wrestler who does some sort of investment work, the right combination of showmanship and plausible expertise for the attention-hungry network, whose gimmicks have included a segment on semen detectors and a failed ambush interview. Layfield got written up in the Times this morning for yet another sideline, a supposed "sexual endurance drink" called "Mamajuana," a non-alcoholic version of a Dominican rum-and-herb concoction. A doctor from NYU basically said the drink is useless, but Fox Business anchor Neil Cavuto is very interested in trying some:

An adorable little blonde person ventured out to the East New York home of former Gawker advice columnist Tionna Smalls to ask her what she thinks about Internet fame. "It's all a lot of fun of games in the beginning." But. "If people think you're getting more burns off their site than they are, they'll get rid of you. It's jealousy."

Daily News reporter Shallon Lester wasn't satisfied just secretly yearning to be friends with Paris Hilton, like most entertainment reporters. She wants to actually be her friend! On TV, at least. (Pictured: an actual photo montage of what the two would look like if their heads were in close proximity, via the NYDN). So the intrepid journalist ventured out to the auditions for the upcoming MTV show and small step towards the apocalypse "Paris Hilton Is My New BFF." How could a trained, professional journalist possibly blend in with a crowd of fame whores? It wasn't that hard at all!

It's hard to build a reality show when your "home office" is your bed and a pink laptop. That's why Star magazine's Julia Allison and her two pals/costars (designer Mary Rambin and techblogger/heiress Meghan Asha) need office space!

Less than a week after hopping the Atlantic and making it into the print and online editions of the British Guardian, fameball Julia Allison is now featured in the German newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine. The article is headlined "Who's blogging so late through the night and wind?" according to the Google translation (in reference to this, more in the comments). There's a proper translation, from an actual German speaker, of the article's first paragraph after the jump. If you care. And also an indication Allison actually ate some poor innocent "media person."

Here, finally, is a video clip of Julia Allison's Sunday appearance on Howard Kurtz's CNN media extravaganza, Reliable Sources. I'm not somebody who can detect human emotion, but doesn't it look like Howie has a crush on her? You can really see it in his eyes. Click to watch the instantly classic clip, which includes Julia's request that all you haters "go for it!"

As some of you may have heard, oft-chronicled Star magazine editor-at-large Julia Allison was on CNN's Reliable Sources this morning. Host Howard Kurtz asked, "You've been called the Paris Hilton of the media world. And Radar magazine says you are the third most hated person on the Internet. I don't know how that statistic was arrived at, but doesn't that kind of criticism and mockery, doesn't it-don't you find it depressing?" Ms. Allison responded, "Actually, I found that really amusing. I actually ranked above the Marine who through the puppy off the cliff. That's quite an accomplishment. I mean, you know, I said to 'Radar'-I said, 'Thank you very much for hating me more than Rachael Ray, more than Tony Kornheiser.' I mean, how is that possible? I was impressed with that, yes. My parents were very proud.'" Then Kurtz asked if she thinks that any press is good press.

Julia Allison won a special Web award, yay! Not for best lip-synch video, accidental nipple flash, perviest readers, shameless self promotion or most narcissistic apartment in a supporting role, though lord knows the Star editor at large would be in the running for any of those categories. No, Radar has named Allison the third most hated person on the internet, and the intrepid Neel Shah managed to track down press-shy Allison for a quote. Her comments are actually kind of awesome, if only for the fact that they begin, "Wow, you hate me! You really, really hate me!"

Oh look. It's Friend-of-Julia Allison Mary Rambin in a belly shirt playing with her hair extension, or something, outside a Manhattan deli yesterday. Fellow-Friend-of-Julia Megan Asha was kind enough to post it on her tumblr today. Meanwhile, at Mary's own tumblr, there's a video of Mary browsing the Barneys spring shoe catalog. This video right here! Now you know.

Julia Allison, the Star talking head and minicelebrity, has toned it down lately. Well, sort of: she stopped blogging her relationships and the "minutiae" of her daily life once her overshares nearly ruined it. But she's still paying for her sins, thanks to the long lead time of print media: last fall, writer Stephen Rodrick trailed Allison for a New York magazine profile. The story never ran; we hear that editor Adam Moss deemed her "overexposed." Now, the 6,000-word piece has been published on MediaBistro. Rodrick catches it all in a thoughtful and surprisingly engaging profile, from an accidental glimpse of her underwear ("a little frilly and matronly for a sex columnist") to the childhood years of a young Julia Baugher. The juicy bits? Car-stealing, apartment-squatting, and what happens when you date rich, powerful men who fly you around the world (and then get pissy when you don't put out.)

The pregnant guy who appeared on Oprah today? Ex-woman Thomas Beatie? He was officially a hot chick, according to People, earning a finalist slot in Miss HawaiiTeen USA back in the day. Finalist or not, he looks kind of mannish to me. And apparently to himself as well: "I always felt masculine, even as a woman," the caption reads. Click through for a larger pic and two other shots from the People spread, via Guanabee.

Julia Allison is the new Carrie Bradshaw. I didn't say it! The Times compared the now-I-want-fame-now-I-don't dating columnist to her fictional predecessor in a three-page profile. According to the Times, Gawker "can't help adding snarky and even vicious commentary" to every bit of Julia news. But I'm the writer who likes Julia (she can change!) so I'll leave the commentary to you. I'm terribly fascinated with everyone's reaction to the excerpt below:

NYLON magazine's gushy profiles have always been hard to stomach (all that unprocessed sugar!), but their contest to win Tinsely Mortimer's Dior lip gloss makes the uptown socialite appear hip to even the downtown crowd: "It Girl Tinsley Mortimer traipses around Manhattan in hot pink, rose, and fuchsia frocks, so it was only a matter of time before Dior—a brand that she is a Beauty Ambassador for—would fashion a shade from her signature color." She's always been happy to lend her name out to practically any brand or event, but speaking of being an Ambassador: she's huge in Japan? [NYLON]

So you already knew about Mary Rambin's forthcoming reality show with fellow famous-for-nothings Julia Allison and Megan Asha. But did you know about her old, canceled, kind-of-sad reality show for ABC, One Ocean View? No? Well, don't feel bad, Google didn't know she was in it either. And Mary doesn't seem to talk about it much, probably because it was cancelled after just two episodes and, conveniently, her last name was never attached to the credits. But looking at photos and video from the two-year-old-show, it's not hard to figure out who the 24-year-old socialite handbag designer was. And then suddenly reading old reviews of a canceled show becomes a little fun! Also, there's a preview video with lots of Mary:

Leven Rambin, the seventeen-year-old All My Children star who's often described as a "socialite," told Daily Intel that she's a big fan of Ashton Kutcher's show, Pop Fiction. The show makes up stories and tries to get tabloids to print them. What a hilarious idea, kind of like the hunter becoming the hunted! In fact, the former Hud Morgan/Jakob Lodwick dater has a great idea of her own: "I'd have to think of something really creative and mind-fucking. Maybe if I adopted a child, like a foreign child, and carried it around and took it to work and took it to a Teen Vogue party. That'd be pretty funny." Please don't start Tumblring, Lev. [Daily Intel]

We told you about Mens Vogue-r Hud Morgan's Champagne-drenched Easter party that rattled his neighbors in the West Village. A tipster described a scene of staggering privilege and hubris, accented by a certain sweater the host was wearing: "horizontally wide-striped, the stripes being in bright primary colors... what a closeted gay rower would wear to a Yale football game. But the best part is that he's wearing a white shirt under it with the collar popped." Now we've got photographic evidence: click to see the infamous sweater, and help us identify the blonde girl who looks like she's arguing with ol' Hud.

Kelly Kreth has a brand-new body... and she wants us to know it! Last Ash Wednesday, the fired NY Press sex columnist, real estate PR bunny, an unapologetic attention-seeker had her second breast-reduction, she told us in an email. (She's also known for going on a disturbing date with dysfunctional serial womanizer Paul Janka.) Explains Kreth, "The first reduction 5 years ago took me from a nearly DD to a big C. Within a year I was a big D again." Damn, they grew back! "However, in the last year they were just so annoying and huge so I just got another reduction... Fingers crossed they stay small." Calculated PR move from an expert? We don't know; we suddenly feel kind of dizzy. And yeah, we've got a SFW photographic timeline.