Jerry Hall, a former famous girlfriend and star of a hilarious reality show, is officially engaged to a slime-covered amphibian 25 years her senior.

Despite the fact that the richest one-one-thousandth of Americans has now accumulated almost as much wealth as the entire bottom 90% of Americans, almost two thirds of the people in this country still believe in some version of the American Dream. Optimism lives!

Are you trapped in an office while all your friends and loved ones are hanging stockings, dreaming of sugar plums, watching Maury, and whatever else they do when they're home during the day? Us too.

A Danish historian claims to have found a lost work by fairy tale auteur Hans Christian Andersen. The Associated Press reports Esben Brage was rifling through the belongings of wealthy Danish families at the National Archives last October when he found the six-page story, because he's retired and everyone needs a hobby.

Everything these days that isn't about vampires is about fairy tales. There's 18 Snow White movies coming out, that awful Little Red Riding Hood movie no one saw, and two fairy-tale related shows on TV this fall. ABC's Once Upon a Time came a-courting first. Was it a happily ever after or a poisoned apple?

Craig Rowin is a Brooklyn comedian who writes for The Onion. Last November, he posted this Youtube video that simply asked for some rich person to give him a million dollars. Now he says: someone is. Really, Craig Rowin? Really?

The Way We Live Now: rubbing our palms together in a "woo boy, the good times are coming" fashion. The good times are coming! Lower unemployment! Hot stocks! Super deals! We're getting into day trading, to make our fortune!