failure

Chinese Kids Officially Smarter Than Us

Hamilton Nolan · 12/07/10 03:07PM

The results are in: on a respected international standardized test, students in Shanghai beat the tar out of everyone in science, reading and math. The U.S. finished 23rd, 17th, and 32nd, respectively. Yea, well...Yao Ming is slow. [NYT]

Put On Your Success Specs and the World Is Peachy Keen

Hamilton Nolan · 08/06/10 02:31PM

The Way We Live Now: shedding—shedding jobs, like a thick fur coat sloughing off in the summer's heat. You don't want our economy to sweat, do you? Not to worry: a little perspective will turn that frown upside down!

Harvard Fails at Foam Party

Hamilton Nolan · 04/20/10 10:02AM

The future architects of America's imperial decline, Harvard kids, came together for a good old-fashioned foam party last weekend. They tried. But these things aren't easy.

Bars Too Cool For You

Hamilton Nolan · 06/04/09 03:15PM

Did you know that any bar worth drinking in is now a speakeasy that would never tell the likes of you its secret location? If you didn't already know, then how do you ever expect to get into one?

Microsoft Preparing to Put Zune Out of Its Misery

Owen Thomas · 01/09/09 11:11AM

When political candidates concede a campaign, they praise the "long journey" and talk about how much they've "learned." In the same mode, Microsoft's CEO has all but said he's given up on the Zune.

The Changing Face of Disgrace

Owen Thomas · 12/16/08 03:53PM

What do the instant comebacks of Martha Stewart, Henry Blodget, and Eliot Spitzer tell us? There's no longer anything to be ashamed of in failure. And that's cheery news for anyone who's been laid off.

Banks Now Just Trying Every Possible Ad

Hamilton Nolan · 10/07/08 08:32AM

The economy's in trouble. Have you heard? Banks would be much happier if you hadn't, but alas, that dude who was repossessing your car probably said something about it. So now our financial institutions are faced with their toughest challenge: deciding what kind of ads to run. They can't do anything about the actual economy—your money is toast. But maybe they can make you feel better about it! Does JPMorgan Chase see a smile on your face? Yes, JPMorgan Chase does! There are a few different strategies. Some, like failed failure WaMu, use humor, along the lines of "We've dragged our dessicated carcass to a safe place now. LOL!" Others are going for the old "reassure you despite all evidence to the contrary" tactic: