More fun at the expense of washed-up former 'It Boy' Fabian Basabe: today, WWD takes a closer look at the website for Fabian's charitable organization, which has the remarkably ambitious (and remarkably vague) goal of "promot[ing] universal cooperation, and advanc[ing] human achievement through support programs in such areas as medicine, education, research and service." That sentence rings a little bit false, sure, but not as false as this sentence in Basabe's bio:

In WWD's Memo Pad today, we found out for sure where old-news closeted homo/socialtard Fabian came from, which had been a source of rampant speculation for people with waaaaay too much time on their hands:

• Hearst has no fucking clue who should edit Seventeen. That's because the 'Toos is irreplaceable. [Radar]
  

Last night was the opening of the unfortunately-named Beaver Bar, the lobby/sales office/bar of what will eventually be William Beaver House, which is real-estate god Andre Balazs's new luxury condominium set to open in Lower Manhattan at some undetermined point in the future. Apparently, when one is looking to sell ridiculously expensive condos to the oversexed power-hungry Wall Street demographic, your marketing scheme should center on an adorable cartoon beaver. We know, we wouldn't have thought it either, but the guy has a ton of money, so who are we to argue? Instead, we sent Gawkslave Erica, photog Nikola Tamindzic, and videographer Richard Blakeley to cover the festivities. Enjoy a beaverlicious display of photos, plus Nikola's extra-adorable full gallery, plus dancing near-naked ladies on fire and the textual rundown after the jump.

Last time we checked, the Gramercy Park area was the epitome of everything that is wrong with Manhattan. This means it's the perfect place for Sex and the City scribe Candace Bushnell and screenwriter Jay McInerney to read steamy sexcapes in front of a gaggle of media folk, socialites, and debutards. We sent GawkSlave Stephanie along with photographer Kate and tipsy videographer Richard Blakeley to make an official record of the blatant debauchery. Waste an additional 20 minutes of your nonproductive day by checking out the Gawker gallery of love, plus Kate's full gallery. After the jump our "I'm only here for the free drinks" trio enter a roomful of a Blue States Lose, with bonus Paula Froelich naughtiness transcription feature.

So, Fabian Basabe. Just arrested for drunk driving, which made us hopeful that the poster child for male debutards would finally lie low for awhile. Alas, wishful thinking. Over the transom comes a press release about the edition of 20/20 that John Stossel & co. will be broadcasting tonight, with a segment featuring our very own Mr. Basabe. Let's see what we have in store:

Fabian Basabe, that dude who first attracted our attention by being on a rich-people reality show, marrying a lady even though he is obvs gay, suing Bungalow 8 for not letting him in, and calling a doorman a Negro, has gone and done something stupid. (Please take a moment to take a few deep, calming breaths if you need them.) Apparently Mr. Basabe ran a red light at CPW and 65th — which, hey, who hasn't run a few red lights? Like Fab (we're going to call him that now)'s lawyer Mark Heller says, "Sometimes [the light] changes while you're in midstream." However, running a red light drunk in a Hummer without (probably) a license is kind of asking for it. Of course, Heller blames the "bumbling" cops who tested Fab's sobriety with "antiquated and faulty equipment." We hope that Fab didn't encounter any more of that pesky stuff during the time he spent in jail!

Has it come to this, people? Has it really gotten so inauspicious out there that the beautiful people must take to hurting one another? Apparently so. Reformed bachelor (ha, we love writing that) Fabian Basabe has filed suit against exclusive den of sin Bungalow 8 and its alpha-doorman Armin Amiri, claiming that Amiri clocked him when he tried to bring a group of friends past the pearly gates. Bungalow headmistress Amy Sacco denies any such incident took place, but that's not stopping Basabe, who says, "I'm not going to let them get away with it." And honestly, the $2 million Basabe's seeking barely covers the cost of his pain at never having a chance to call Amiri a "sand negro."

• The Water Taxi comes to Williamsburg, bringing with it a level of comfort for Wall Streeters and a newfound terror for the hipsters who've fought so hard to delay the inevitable. [NYS]
• Pam Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married. Honeymoon videotape of their threesome with the dude from Creed obviously TK. [Us Weekly]
• Gene Simmons drools on a celebrity weekly reporter, publicist fails to apologize, world keeps on turning (barely). [M2tv]
• Your guide to the great Author Portraits of our time. Joan Didion, you will always rule. [Jane]
• More Fabian Basabe than anyone should ever be forced to endure. [JuliaAllison]
• That whole mess with Israel and Hezbollah? Ain't nothing but a gizmo. [Jew School]
• Vote for the hottest gay journalist: what wouldn't we give to see the Coop and Daily Newser Chris Rovzar mud-wrestle for the tiara. [Left Behinds]
• Cranky Media Guy Simon Dumenco can go on and on about what's wrong with America's Got Talent — but if that's how he wants to deal with his disturbingly hot David Hasselhoff fantasies, then so be it. [AdAge]
• How sad is D.C.? So sad that residents will try to raise $20K just to get K-Fed to come by and liven things up a bit. [Circomlocuter]
• The life cycle of the Party Girl, as told by Kristen Cavalleri, Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid, Pam Anderson, Janice Dickinson, and Keith Richards. [BWE]

• Is new Vibe president Ari Horowitz as much of a dick as Nicholas Boston makes him out to be? 'Cause, man, he makes him out to be a dick. [NYO]
• The Internet hasn't created any stars, says Chris Anderson. Boy, is he ever gonna have egg on his face when Amanda Congdon snags the lead role in Deuce Bigelow: Space Gigolo [Fortune]
• Fabien Basabe is at work on a novel. We expect a DeLilloan examination of the dangers of the modern world set against a flawed protagonist's need for love. [WWD]

Rush & Molloy report today that male socialite and Advice Diva Fabian Basabe has committed the ultimate sin: complaining about Bungalow 8 doorman Armin Amiri. Basabe has told police that during an argument over how many friends he could bring in, Amiri punched him, resulting in a third-degree assault charge. Amy Sacco, Bungalow's grand dame, denies the charge, insisting Amiri would never hit a lady.

The Miami Herald's advice column, the Advice Diva, rescues socialite "it" thing Fabian Basabe from obscurity and dubs him "Guest Diva" (good to see that they're honest enough journalists down there to do away with any masculine pretense). Some of his tips for self-confidence:

Just one more reason why fabulous Fabian might well be happier spending his time on Capri than in East Hampton:

Well. Look at that. For all your (and our) pretensions of a transgressive, avant-garde, subcultural existence, turns out we're all burdened with quintessentially lumpen taste in our Time Person of the Year nominees.

• Paris Hilton's engagement ring from ex-beau Paris Latsis is 24 carats of cubic zirconia. Because when Paris does pathetic, she does it big 'n glitzy! [Page Six]
• Supermodels Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks kiss, make up, and become irrelevant. Naomi's only interesting when she's throwing shit. [R&M]
• That random PR duo we mentioned yesterday? Turns out they're parting ways over "it" boy Fabian Basabe, who's stopped ruining his own life long enough to extend the favor to others. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Actor Chris Klein won't be cooking his dates any dinner. "At the end of the day, she's cooking the food," he tells Elle, thus ensuring that he'll never get laid again. [Liz Smith]

This falls into that famous we're-not-endorsing-we're- just-passing-along category. But we'll note that we received more than one seemingly identical missives on this topic today. Here's one of the more felicitously phrased:

• Once-It boy Fabian Basabe has no problem with the suggestion that he's a complete flame-thrower. But suggest that he doesn't come from money, and he'll sue you for defamation of social class. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z continues to encourage speculation over whether or not Beyonce is carrying his baby. If so, we need to get on a baby name, stat. Roc-a-fetus is just too predictable. [Gatecrasher (2nd item)]
• LA nightlife beast Amanda Demme heads east, spreading her decadence to Las Vegas. If she continues in that direction, it won't be long before she's scheduling a cage-match with our own Amy Sacco. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman found out about ex-husband Tom Cruise's crazy baby with Katie Holmes just like the rest of us, via television. And NOT EVEN SHOPPING CURED HER PAIN. [Scoop]
• Lizzie Jennings, daughter of late anchor Peter, will run this weekend's marathon to raise money for cancer research. At this point, we're more interested in who's running the marathon without a pet cause. Someone's got to be running for their own selfish reasons. [Lowdown]

• This might be the most inconsequential gossip item ever, but still one of our favorites. After hearing that model May Anderson supposedly hit on her ex, David Katzenberg, Marlboro woman Mary-Kate Olsen was on a street corner, screaming into her cellphone, "I'll kill that fucking slut!" Awesome: What we wouldn't pay to see MK get violent. It'd be like watching a rabid squirrel decimate an acorn. [Page Six]
• As part of the Scientology Disaster Relief Action Special Thetan Squad, actor John Travolta gave massages to hurricane victims. Strapping, young, masculine hurricane victims, no doubt. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Actress and Coldplay groupie Gwyneth Paltrow continues to ride her high horse all over the damn place, claiming that she keeps a log of paparazzi incidents because of the danger posed to her fruity daughter. [Page Six]
• Former Jane editor Jane Pratt tells The Daily that the "She's So Jane" campaign to for new EIC Brandon Holley definitely wasn't her idea. No shit. [Lowdown (2nd to last)]
• Roger Friedman finally gets to write Fabian Basabe's name in his column, dies of pervy happiness. [Fox411 (bottom)]

• Farewell, soon, to the Tara Reid self-loathing index: Looks like the show's been canned and E! has sent the troops home. Poor Tara. She can't even have a career as an alcoholic. [Defamer]
• Kudos to socialite Fabian Basabe for his appearance on today's Oprah. Notable quotable: "A lot of people think that being a socialite is just a bunch of rich kids running around, doing nothing. That's incorrect...being social is a career." If this isn't proof positive of our failed education system, we don't know what is.
• Kanye West refuses to remove his iPod long enough to pay due to Fashion Week. Obviously, Kanye West does not care about skinny people. [OAN]
• We swear this is the last O.C. reference we'll make, uh, today, but our crack-smoking little brother has taken up the cultural cause: Odds that "while Seth is away in prison, Summer uses Captain Oats as a dildo - 3,500/1." Call your bookies. [Oddjack]
• Not even Fox is ready for hurricane humor; the network holds an episode of The Family Guy that contained "a couple" of references to a hurricane. [B&C]
• Au revoir, Chelsea piers? [The Real Estate]
• Hip-hop jack-of-all-crap Diddy gets all Trump-y on us and is rumored to be working on opening a hotel in Atlantic City. [Hotelchatter]
• Did Coney Island's legendary roller coaster-cum-death machine, the Cyclone, break on Saturday? And if the only outlet to document it is Craigslist, does it mean it ever really happened? [Craigslist]
• OMG, LA Weekly's Nikki Finke said something nice. [LAW]

After berating "negroes" for not fetching his Navy Blue Prada Sweater, Fabian Basabe wisely fled to Bologna, Italy. The PR Life Cycle© having now completed its most recent rotation, we're happy to note that the Basabe is back in town.