Now, you want to talk about reading? Let's talk about reading:

You know when Madonna's gimpish brother writes a scandalous tell-all about his sister, and even we—diehard Madonna fans for life, despite the fact that we can't particularly stand her—can't even be bothered to scan the dustcover, your little media ploy's in trouble. So you take measures. You adapt. You hop on the blogwagon! And that allows you to self-publish all the really scandalous stuff your publisher's legal department wouldn't let you put in print. Like this 1993 anecdote in which Madonna shits herself in her Dita costume during rehearsals for her Erotica tour: