What do North Koreans want more than anything in the world? Why, skinny jeans, of course! Also, poop. Both items are "selling like hotcakes"!

Austin Purifoy, the 19-year-old who mistakenly pooped in a Civic he thought was his girlfriend's, is joining the Army. But we will remember him fondly, for his immortal words upon being discovered by the car's real owner in the backseat: