A new USDA survey finds that less than 1% of US farms are organic—meaning that the carnivore locavore yuppie fantasy that it's okay to eat meat as long as it comes from one of the few "good" farms is an unsustainable argument, in the Kantian sense. There will never be enough "good" farms to fulfill the demand for meat, so only forsaking meat altogether is a viable, ethical, environmental stance, in accord with the categorical imperative (universalization formulation). Which, not for nothing, is exactly what Jonathan Safran Foer says in his new book, so, we know he's a precious twee Brooklyn writer and all, but give up some props, along with that ham sandwich. Everyone knows you got to stay off that pork.

As promised, Kate Major—the former Star celebrity reporter who left journalism behind to pursue love with Jon Gosselin (which didn't quite work)—has answered five questions for you, the bloodthirsty internet hordes. Below: regrets, journalism, heroes, and celebulove.

A tipster reports that Dean Wright, the "ethics editor" for Reuters, is looking into how and why Reuters chief David Schlesinger killed an investigation into SAC Capital's Steven Cohen after Cohen complained about the story to the firm's CEO.

Why won't Mark Halperin and John Heilemann tell us who Bill Clinton was sleeping with? This may sound like a plea from a shameless scandal-merchant for more grist, but it is actually an honest question: what makes that information privileged?

Remember Mike Albo? He's the freelancer who broke The New York Times' convoluted travel writer rules and had his column axed. Now, Mary Tripsas, who pens the Times' "Prototype" column, has made a similar misstep. Will she be fired, too?

First we thought, "when did we get a job writing headlines for venerable old Roll Call?" but then we were like "oh, there is a sorta sleazy congressman named Dicks. Norman Dicks." Anyways him and Murtha are (mostly) ethical!

Something's gone terribly wrong at Fox News—they keep responding to criticism as if it's valid! Someone at the network sent a letter to Glenn Beck wondering why he's always constantly shilling for gold.

Disgraced ex-Times reporter Jayson Blair isn't the only unlikely figure giving ethics seminars these days. Former governor Eliot Spitzer is scheduled to speak at Harvard's Edmond J. Safra Foundation Center for Ethics tomorrow. Not quite as surprising: Tickets are still available. [NYDN]

Eliot Spitzer will deliver a lecture on ethics at Harvard's Center for Ethics this afternoon. $20 anyone who manages to utter Ashley Dupre near an open mic.

Revelations surfaced in July that pricey, shady, plainly unethical off-the-record dinners between Washington Post reporters and DC lobbyists were planned. It resulted in the firing of the WaPo's marketing director. Now, the NYT calls out their executive editor. SHOTS FIRED!

We were disappointed yesterday when the cowardly Wall Street Journal failed to fire faux-trendspotting flack Mark Penn for using his newspaper column to troll for PR clients. But—hearteningly—both Penn and the paper appear increasingly pathetic!

Mark Penn, the strategist who dashed Hillary Clinton's presidential hopes, is the Wall Street Journal's "Microtrend"-spotting columnist. He's also CEO of PR giant Burson-Marsteller. Only a scumbag would abuse the former to drum up business for the latter.

In your finally Friday media column: The NYT looks ethically inconsistent and its management is mush-mouthed, Bruce Wasserstein contemplates buying BusinessWeek, and Fleet Street dies, unnoticed.

Oh, how the American media wishes that some sex perv had never secretly recorded a nude video of shapely ESPN reporter Erin Andrews! Then the media would not have been forced to discuss this disgusting spectacle. And make photo galleries!

An ethics investigator's report leaked to the press says that Sarah Palin has been "securing unwarranted benefits and receiving improper gifts" through the legal defense fund set up for her by John Coale, the Scientologist husband of Greta Van Susteren.

The Washington Post sent a flier to DC corporate lobbyists and other scum offering them an exclusive, schmoozy dinner with political officials and Post reporters for only $25,000. Now they're disavowing it! Come now. They were just too honest.

This note went out to NYT staffers yesterday evening, in the wake of Tommy Friedman having to return a $75K speaking fee, because Tommy Friedman cannot read:

Is mustachioed hybrid-hawker Thomas Friedman licking dog food remnants from discarded cans yet? Sadly no, but he must be getting close! First his rich wife's family business went bankrupt. Now he's lost $75K. Just yesterday!

American schools are drug-ridden dens of iniquity, but fortunately we have insurance companies to teach our children values, with TV ads. And whoa, Liberty Mutual has a new 'Responsibility' campaign. Why does that sound familiar?

Former MSNBC host Dan Abrams, not content with running his shady new conflict-of-interest-laden PR firm for working journalists, now wants to start up his very own "'Drudge meets The Huffington Post' site." Oh good.