Yes, the flu season is really bad this year. No, it's not entirely due to "people use too much Purell nowadays" or whining about what's probably just a cold, either. The CDC reports that more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from "flu-related complications" every year. Sometimes, especially in the winter, people will use the word "flu" to describe any condition they want, but this is not the flu's fault and you should not blame it.

Botox shox! Stem cell freedom! Michelle my belle! Chronic fatigue! Fatigue of chronic! Chinese babies! Eat more veggies! Body blow! Body blow! Body blow! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—on our way out of town!

The prospect of someday appearing on the World's Greatest Awards Show has proven quite the lure to big-screen stars in recent years, who've increasingly forgone the fool's errand of mainstream cinema for the more temperate waters of episodic television. A pair of stories making the rounds today, however, suggests the threshold between the two as a point of no return for those who dare to cross, starting with George Clooney, who yesterday turned down the prospect of a guest stint during ER's final season: "[H]e is not coming back," his publicist said. "It is something he has already done. He is busy making movies." Indeed, Men Who Stare at Goats just ruined your ER series finale. We apologize on his behalf. Meanwhile, Tim Roth is hoping the grass — or at least the money — is greener at Fox, where he's aboard Brian Grazer's Lie to Me, about a FBI-recruited scientist "with the innate ability to read whether people are telling the truth":

A boatload of staffers (27 of 'em!) have been suspended at the Palisades Medical Center in New Jersey, where George Clooney and his galpal were taken after ending up on the crap side of some illegal road maneuvers. Apparently the staffers' inner gossip queens couldn't resist taking a peek into Clooney's medical file, thus violating patient privacy laws. In a statement today, Clooney told reporters, "While I very much believe in a patients [sic] right to privacy, I would hope that this could be settled without suspending medical workers." Aww. You tell 'em, Dr. Ross. But weird, right? We sort of figured his previously stated opinions on privacy would trump any other concerns! Perhaps we underestimated him.