What's the bigger scandal in Kim Masters' recent rundown of the kerfuffle between Ari Emanuel and Ben Silverman: That Slate published the whole thing with Emanuel's name repeatedly misspelled "Emmanuel," or that Silverman would dare stand Emanuel up not once but twice in meetings with Marvel boss David Maisel and producer/director Peter Berg? We honestly don't know, but for sheer cafeteria-slapfight drama, we're leaning toward the latter:

As we combed through your touching condolences in the comments section under the post noting that Jodie Foster may have left longtime companion Cydney for Tell Me You Love Me showrunner Cynthia Mort, we came across one remark in particular that, while admittedly just a rumor, seemed to us intriguing enough a possibility to float among you, the all-knowing Defamer readership. It read:

Were you, like us, rendered an incapacitated, drooling mess after trying to slog through Variety's report on the agency-defection madness currently gripping the screenwriting trade? Perhaps you are simply a visual learner, in which case we've drafted for you a handy pictorial guide to the recent comings and goings of the Bedhopping Six. (We managed to find photos of all them, save the Google Image-shy husband-wife team of Cormac and Marianne Wibberley, the National Treasure writers instead represented by Nicolas Cage wielding a torch inside Mt. Rushmore's Teddy Roosevelt nostril.)

Word over the Defamer transom this morning suggests yet another high-profile agency move, with UTA partner Tracey Jacobs reportedly packing her bags (and clients including Johnny Depp) for the greener pastures of Endeavor. Jacobs' departure would follow that of her colleagues Nick Stevens, Sharon Sheinwold and Lisa Hallerman earlier this month, further driving rumors of a UTA merger or sell-off as the talent division melts down.

If Robert De Niro's appearance at last night's Meryl Streep tribute in New York is any indication, all those haters who ridiculed the actor's agency switch last week might have another thing coming. To wit: De Niro killed. In a cruise-ship comic kind of way, perhaps, and filing through a fistful of index-carded one-liners, but still. This guy may yet pull down $20 million a picture if his timing keeps up, and he wasted no time soliciting his former co-star Streep to join him — if only someone at CAA would return his calls. Zing! Catch our exclusive video and a few more outtakes from De Niro's repertoire after the jump.

Seeing as the L.A. Times wouldn't rush any story it couldn't retract in disgrace a few weeks later, John Horn took his sweet time pounding out today's analysis of all the dramatic agency-hopping exploits over the last week-and-a-half. There's a little bit of a long view, here, however, and it's decidedly ugly; for starters, could industry volatility force CAA reps to endure the horrors of — gulp — business class? Or worse?

As we put this week to bed, it's time to reflect, project, deflect and genuflect on the week that was...
· Big week for Gorgeous George Clooney. His passion project, Leatherheads,
disappointed at the box office (twice!), he was on the receiving end of a threatening phone call and his sand-loving girlfriend turned his bachelor pad into Yankee Candle outlet. Ah, who are we kidding? He can still pull digits with the best of 'em.
· Ellen Page butched it up on Leno and may (or may not!) have dissed Hanoi Jane.
· Certainly, Tom Cruise has had better weeks. MGM tried to spin Valkyrie's second release date pushback as a B.O. ploy, but we knew better.
· Artie Lange and Charlton Heston both had shitty weeks, too. Artie resigned from the Howard Stern Show and Charlton, well, he died.
· The hackiest hack that ever hacked, Uwe Boll, found himself on the wrong end of an online petition that might just end his career (fingers crossed!). Howevs, he was able to leverage the power of the internet to fight back ... twice!
· It was Musical Chairs week at Hollywood's biggest talent agencies. Bob DeNiro bolted from CAA (spurring a hilarious poison pen post from the Death Star), Nick Stevens led one of "the biggest agent migrations in years" when he bolted from UTA to Endeavor and a finch with a mean streak wreaked havoc at CAA shortly after Ashton Kutcher became the agency's newest client.
· Teri Hatcher and Clint Black learned that they're both better off sticking with their day jobs.
· After publicly (and somewhat shadily) announcing that he and his wife were victims of an alleged extortion attempt by his nanny, Rob Lowe displayed the keen ability to turn an adjective into a noun when he coined the term "false terribles."

Some accounts place Robert De Niro's recent defection from CAA to Endeavor as a move at least a decade in the making. That inevitability didn't lessen the sting for an anonymous CAA operative, however, who chimed at Deadline Hollywood Daily on Thursday with a poetic reality check entitled, "Why Did Bobby Leave Us?"

Robert De Niro shuffled through Endeavor's busy revolving door Wednesday in the agency's third high-profile move of the week, marking the end of the Oscar-winner's long tenure at CAA. The addition comes days after Ashton Kutcher fled Endeavor for the confines of CAA, and nearly a week after the seismic defection of comedy power broker Nick Stevens and two partners from UTA. As Variety's Michael Fleming notes, De Niro "hit his payday stride" with his $18 million turn in Meet the Fockers; the move sets him up for continued forays into safe, tightly packaged middlebrow humor franchises that will secure his legacy as a shell of the standard-bearing American legend we grew up with. Bon voyage, Bob. [Variety]

It's a story as old as Hollywood itself: An attractive actor who's done everything he can to get himself into the spotlight just can't get the roles he wants. Is it because his acting isn't quite up to par? Of course not... It's because his agent sucks!

The Hollywood Reporter calls it "one of the biggest agent migrations in years." Nikki Finke screamed "Shocker!" We'll wait until the dust settles before determining exactly how to characterize the moves of UTA talent kingpin and co-owner Nick Stevens and partners Sharon Sheinwold and Lisa Hallerman over to Endeavor, a relocation that has already cost UTA its relationship with Stevens' client Ben Stiller, looks ready to claim Jack Black and could continue to draw a sizable chunk of UTA's deep comedy base — including Judd Apatow, Owen Wilson, Jason Lee and half the cast of Saturday Night Live — in the days and weeks to come.

• And now, an Anna Nicole Smith doll of your very own. We kinda, sorta see the resemblance. [eBay]
  

Richard Abate—the literary agent who would be, nay, will be Ari Gold—had his lawyers smack back his former employers at ICM the other day in their pre-hearing wranglings. ICM's lawyers flipped out on him after Abate sent himself all his contacts and work docs from the office. Now we'll give this latest round to Abate and his new employers at Endeavor—the production of cheery emails between Abate and his boss, Sloan Harris (click excerpt at right for the exchange) seems fairly damning to ICM's claims. Also hilarious. Like two very manly gals text-messaging!

What's the best thing an agent can do before ditching out of his contract with ICM to jump ship to Endeavor? Email all those confidential work documents to his wife—which is what Richard Abate did, according to a letter sent yesterday to the judge in the suit ICM is bringing against the brash lit agent.