So! Jilted author Robert Olen Butler isn't happy that yesterday we published the email he sent to his grad students. You know, the email that began "this sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly. You can feel free to use any part or all of this email to do so," and in which he explained exactly why his wife was leaving him for Ted Turner (she was abused by her grandpa!). In his email to us, he sounded steamed!

• Britney Spears put soda in her kids' baby bottles and then tried to get a dentist to whiten their little teeth. [Us]
  

They make a cute couple! Tedlizabeth? Turnberry? Dewner? We'll let Us Weekly sort that one out, I guess.