Eliot Spitzer hailing a cab on the corner of 51st Street and 7th Avenue with his gym bag and tennis racquet in hand ... Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins heading into the Angelika Film Center ... Mary J. Blige arriving at LaGuardia ... Lily Allen walking around with a blanket over her head for some reason ... Terrence Howard leaving the movies ... Spike Jonze carrying Matilda Ledger on his shoulders in Brooklyn ... Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick leaving the Broadhurst Theatre on West 47th Street ... Josh Hartnett hanging out with his parents in Soho ... playwright Sam Shepard walking in the West Village ... and Jennifer Aniston standing under an umbrella on the set of The Baster.

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to the Stop & Shop in Oyster Bay with two of their kids on Saturday and were "very friendly" to employees of the store. Please try to contain your amazement. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan must be hard up for cash, since she's reportedly in discussions to star in a topless show in Las Vegas. Even worse: She seems to think it will "really revitalize her career and give her some serious theater cred." [Fox]
• Early Show anchor Julie Chen and her boss/husband, CBS chief exec Les Moonves, are expecting their first child this October. [P6]
• Speaking of kids, Amy Winehouse's rep says that the rumors the singer is adopting a child from the Caribbean are untrue. Be thankful for that! [DE]

Michael Wolff, whose affair with a 28-year-old Vanity Fair intern and subsequent divorce were publicized all over the place, is just thinkin' about Eliot Spitzer, today.

Sorry to crush your hopes and dreams, but contrary to reports earlier this week, disgraced former Gov. Eliot Spitzer is not planning to run for office in 2010, or so says "a source familiar with Spitzer's thinking." This is most unfortunate news, since we were really looking forward to seeing Ashley Dupre make an appearance in a negative campaign ad, but we'll survive somehow. [NYDN]

Not to be outdone by Vermont, New York Gov. David Paterson will introduce a bill legalizing same-sex marriage on Thursday.

Is Eliot Spitzer already planning a political comeback? Or is that total bullshit speculation planted by enemies and lapped up by the thirsty press? Either way—that's crazy talk!

• You didn't think Eliot Spitzer was planning to stay out of the spotlight forever, did you? Rumor has it the disgraced ex-governor is hoping to get his old job back as attorney general once Andrew Cuomo runs for governor in 2010. [P6]
• Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage, reportedly because Mel has been involved with a Russian singer named Oksana Kolesnikova. [NYP, OK!]
• Madonna's PR offensive continues: Not only is she hoping to win hearts and minds in Malawi by releasing pics of herself holding baby Mercy in her arms, she also has had her former nanny talking up her parenting skills to any reporter willing to listen. [DM, MSNBC]
• Uh oh! Rumor has it Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to spawn again. [Sun]

• Is it finally over between Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson? Her mom and sister certainly hope so: The two were spotted with Sam at a police station yesterday to "look into filing a restraining order" against Lindsay, although LiLo appears to still be in denial, telling E! that they're just taking a "brief break." [Us, E!]
• Madonna was crushed to learn her adoption petition had been rejected by a judge in Malawi—"I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind"—but baby Mercy's uncle is now supporting her appeal, for whatever that's worth. [MSNBC, Sun]
• CNN's Campbell Brown had a baby boy yesterday. [HuffPo]
• Who does Scarlett Johansson have to thank for her new bod? Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently, since she reportedly introduced Scarlett to her trainer Tracy Anderson who put her on a "rigid diet." [Sun]

• The New York Times Co. says it will shut down the Boston Globe within a month unless the paper's unions agree to $20 million in concessions. [BN]
• Fox News gossip columnist Roger Friedman got axed after he reviewed a pirated version of Fox's new X-Men movie, Wolverine. [DHD, NYT]
• Vanity Fair is scrapping its annual "green issue." [Independent]
• Michelle Obama may be beloved by the media world, but she isn't a sure thing when it comes to selling magazines on newsstands, apparently. [AdAge]
• Playboy's former fashion director is suing the mag for discrimination. [NYP]
• Hearst's Country Living is launching a line of products. [MW]
• Michael Crichton died last November, but two more novels by the best-selling author will be published over the next year and a half. [NYT]
• Eliot Spitzer was on the Today show this morn, in case you missed it. [Jossip]
• Fast & Furious was No. 1 at the box office this past weekend. [THR]

Eliot Spitzer really wants to explain the whole financial crisis, and he is pretty sure he's obligated to advise us plebes on what to do, but everyone just wants him to talk about hookers.

• Bill Keller says that New York Times readers have offered to donate money to keep the paper alive, which is both very sad and very sweet. [Politico, NYP]
• Hearst has asked all of its newspapers to reduce costs by 20 percent. [BN]
• The launch of Oprah's cable network has been pushed back to 2010. [NYP]
• Eliot Spitzer will hit the Today show on Monday, presumably to talk about the financial crisis, not about his personal life. [NYO]
• Tensions are reportedly running high at MSNBC after the network decided to give Ed Schultz a show and bump Norah O'Donnell and David Shuster. [P6]
• Breaking! The media appears to be rather fond of Michelle Obama. [WaPo]
• Last night's series finale of ER generated big ratings for NBC. [NYT]
• Is Google about to acquire Twitter? Not so much, says Kara Swisher. [ATD]

Ashley Dupre has something to get off her chest! Or, rather, Russell Simmons wanted another publicity boost for his website and told Ashley that she had to come up with something ASAP if she expected another personal yoga session this week. In any event, Ash has lots of questions today, but she's still struggling to come up with answers:

• Madonna's kicked boytoy Jesus Luz to the curb and is thrilled to be single again, reports Britain's Daily Mail based on the things she's been telling fans on Twitter. But as the Times reminds us today, lots of celebs only pretend to use Twitter, so you don't have to give up hope entirely just yet. [DM]
• In related news, Madonna is expected to arrive in Malawi this weekend so she can add another baby to her collection of human accessories. [NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. only broke up recently, but she may have already moved on: She was spotted at a "rebound dinner" earlier this week. [P6]
• More trouble for CNBC: The network's golden boy, Dylan Ratigan, may be heading out the door after clashing with management. [P6]
• Ivana Trump may have reunited with her ex, Rossano Rubicondi. [P2L]
• Mega real estate broker Kathy Sloane has been hit with $248K tax lien. [P6]

In your "not really spring" Tuesday column: Obama to meet "bloggers"(??), journalists die while nobody notices, newspapers scrounge for ideas, and Eliot Spitzer's a media darling!:

• Hachette is looking to sell a big bunch of magazines, including Road & Track, Car & Driver, American Photo, Boating, Cycle World, Sound & Vision, and Flying. Package deals available; financing not so much. [AdAge, MW]
• Dick Parsons will step down from the Time Warner board in May. [Crains]
• Time Warner is buying a stake in Ron Lauder's European TV company. [PC]
• Discovery chief David Zaslav is "cable's fastest rising star," according to Forbes. Also: You're welcome to call him "Zazz" if you'd like. [Forbes]
• More on the media tour that Eliot Spitzer has been on recently. [NYO]
• It seems the Obama administration is looking at ways to avoid the "filter of the mainstream media." That sounds familiar, doesn't it? [Politico]
• Further proof that CNBC sucks, assuming you need some. [MediaMatters]
• Barry Meyer and Alan Horn will spend two more years at Warner Bros. [THR]
• George Lopez has a new talk show on TBS. Contain your excitement. [NYT]

Tim Geithner's plan for rescuing the financial sector isn't "seize the banks and feed their executives to wolves" so it's stupid and no one likes Geithner. The Nation has a great idea, though:

Prostitute-hiring former New York governor Eliot Spitzer is back in front of the TV cameras, talking about AIG! Good thing, because we need experts on the violation of financial laws. Watch him explain his "contribution."

What's this, our friend Ashley Dupre, nee Spitzer, has taken up yoga and is hanging with Russell Simmons developing "inner strength?" Pish posh! You need to focus, Ashley. You'll ruin everything.

Can you believe it's been a full year since Eliot Spitzer was linked to an escort service and he was forced to give that awkward press conference with wife Silda by his side? It has! Although as NY1 points out, it's also the anniversary of the day Governor Peter Stuyvesant issued a law prohibiting goats and hogs from roaming the streets of New Amsterdam. [NY1]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou are married. Sort of. The couple reportedly traveled to Africa last summer to tie the knot in a secret ceremony, but the marriage isn't valid in the US since Kimora was still married to Russell Simmons at the time. But Djimon went shopping for an engagement ring last week, so they'll sort it all out soon enough. [NYDN]
• An escort who claims she serviced Eliot Spitzer has lots of details to share about the encounter, if you're feeling brave this morning. Among other things, she claims he liked to choke her during sex. [R&M]
• Jeffrey Toobin doesn't believe that he's the father of Casey Greenfield's baby, although she's asking for a paternity test to know for sure. [R&M]
• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have split up. Again. [People]