It was a big week for Woods. He just came off the golf course after a top-five finish at the US Masters, and the inevitable black-and-white Nike ad aired and spawned the inevitable parodies. So how's Tiger doing?

She wants total control of her daughter's life. Reese Witherspoon has a new man. Jesse James' ex-wife fights for custody—again. No one shows at Bethenny's baby shower. Octomom gets a porn offer. Monday's gossip is pregnant and horny.

South Park premiered its 14th season tonight and opened with a graphic reenactment of the confrontation between Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, last Thanksgiving that started it all. Oh, yeah: turns out the reenactment was a video game!

She just can't forgive Tiger for sleeping with a porn actress. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reunited. Michael Jackson signs a deal from beyond the grave. Every New Yorker hates Brooke Shields. Tuesday's gossip is not taking it anymore.

Get ready for everyone to be outraged now that Mo'Nique has said her husband is allowed to "cheat." But if more people had open relationships, wouldn't life be a whole lot better?

Even though you had the week between Christmas and New Year's off doesn't mean celebs stopped living their lives and the world stopped reporting on it. Here is a catch-up for all you missed while away from the Internet.

Mark Ebner of Hollywood Interrupted has posted a letter contradicting many of the accepted versions of events surrounding the Tiger Woods scandal. The letter is purportedly from Tiger's neighbor and close confidante of Tiger's agent. UPDATE: And a probable hoax!

To no one's surprise, it appears that Tiger Woods' wife is planning to divorce him. Sorry, golf fans momentarily distracted from your sedate sport by a wild sex scandal: this story is coming to its end.

Today's big news about Tiger Woods, besides 14 new hookers coming forward: His wife wants him to quit golf! According to a probably made-up UK tabloid story. But it raises the larger point: Why is golf so sexist? And dumb?

While you were busy watching football, eating dry turkey, and flashing tense, frozen smiles at your annoying relatives, Tiger Woods was getting beaten senseless by his wife. Here's a round-up of what we know in case you were otherwise engaged.