A Memphis church kicked a team out of its softball league for having a lesbian coach. They didn't want to appear to condone her "lifestyle." It's softball! Who doesn't expect lesbians? We hope Elena Kagan judges on the inevitable lawsuit.

Some writer for the Washington Post was able to churn out 1,100 words on the fact that Elena Kagan dresses like the middle-aged professor that she is. What does it mean that Kagan is totally unstylish? Let us explore.

New York Post lesbian uh, not lesbian columnist Andrea Peyser heard something in the news the other day about lesbians? Elena Kagan? Supreme Court? Whatever. It gave Andrea a reason to go to a lesbian bar, for journalism.

Laura "Tania" Bush recently revealed her deep love for gay abortions and Rastifarianism. But did you know she also supports the Supreme Court nomination of softball-playing, family-hiding Jew Elena Kagan? Basically, she just restarted Baader-Meinhof. Click through for left-wing propaganda.

Let's take a look back at the Gawker week that was. May 9-14: one of the lesbianiest, softballingest weeks on record.

What if, instead of gay-baiting Elena Kagan, conservatives religion-bait her? "If Kagan is confirmed, Jews, who represent less than 2 percent of the U.S. population, will have 33 percent of the Supreme Court seats," former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan gripes.

Many have speculated about Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan's sexuality based partly on her love of softball. Condi Rice, subject of similar rumors, apparently decided there wasn't enough lesbian sports innuendo this week: She's written a paean to women's basketball.

The Times is reporting that journalists are being prevented from speaking with the family of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Specifically, Times journalists. What is Obama hiding from the press? Come, join us in rampant speculation!

Lots of people flipped out over the Wall Street Journal's decision to run a photo of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball. Were they trying to imply she's a lesbian? Every extracurricular activity comes with a stereotype.

[Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan tries to avoid the third rail today while riding the Senate subway on her way to glad-hand members of the Judiciary Committee. Image via Getty]

Why didn't President Obama pick a more "scrutible" nominee than Elena Kagan? Slate's Dahlia Lithwick weighs in on the matter—but not before Stephen makes a reference to Justin Beiber.

Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is not gay, says her law school roommate Sarah Walzer. Former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, who knew her as a Princeton undergrad, agrees. And yet, the rumor persists.

The front page photo of Tuesday's Journal? Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball. Not that they're saying she's a lesbian, or anything! Tomorrow they're running a photo of her driving a Subaru Outback. Only because it's a good picture!

[Next to whether or not she's a lesbian, everyone wants to know who is going to play Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan on Saturday Night Live. The Apiary made this awesome chart based on suggestions the masses made on Twitter.]

This morning President Obama nominated Solicitor General Elena Kagan to be on the Supreme Court. But few people are talking about her qualifications. They only want to know if she's into the ladies. Let's look at the facts, shall we?

Uh-oh: Politics happened! President Obama has chosen Solicitor General Elena Kagan to be his nominee for the Supreme Court spot recently vacated by Justice Stevens. Now you have to have an opinion about her. We can help with that!

NBC is reporting that Elena Kagan is Obama's nominee for the upcoming Supreme Court vacancy.

Why is the White House treating lesbian rumors like allegations of vampiric necrophilia? When CBS republished a column repeating the rumor that possible Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is a lesbian, the White House responded furiously. Because lesbians are terrible?