It's the Common Core, you see, it's got the gay-making all built into it. Do an arithmetic problem all new and queer-like, and you go queer. This simple Florida lawmaker can see that. Why can't you? Are you gay or something?

Free speech on campuses is dead! Didn't you hear? Leftist fascists are forcing universities to cancel commencement speakers that they find objectionable. Others are getting protested. It's awful! Where is the freedom? Actually, the freedom is in the protesting.

In 2008, Steve Lopez, the Los Angeles Times columnist, asked: "What happened to the days when public education was not just valued, but was seen as a great equalizer in American society, offering a pathway to upward mobility for even the least fortunate students?"

The academy. It claims to stand for inclusiveness and diversity and voices of dissent. But what happens when students decide to vote with their feet—their bare feet—and a professor calls those students "hillbillies"? Well sir, you've got a discrimination problem.

A study released today by the UCLA's Civil Rights Center reports that 60 years after Brown v. Board of Education, American schools are slowly re-segregating themselves, particularly in the suburbs. Someone should let the conservative wing of the Supreme Court know!

An undergraduate student group has announced plans to hold a Satanic "black mass" on Harvard's campus Monday evening, freaking out Catholics and conservatives who probably figured the Ivy was a dark servant of Beelzubub all along.

An Alabama middle schooler says she was suspended because she refused to take standardized tests based on national Common Core standards.

At the Rialto Unified School District in California, an assignment given to eighth graders asked students to argue whether they "believed the Holocaust was a real historical event or a political scheme to influence public emotion and gain wealth."

In new studies performed by the Center for American Progress and the National Education Association, it has been discovered that while almost half of U.S. public school students are nonwhite, fewer than 20% of their teachers are minorities.

Los Angeles high school teacher Greg Schiller, suspended in February for supervising science fair projects that another staff member thought could be dangerous, is back in the classroom, but he still faces disciplinary action. Schiller also happens to be the teachers' union rep on campus.

A 42-year-old teacher has been arrested after admitting to giving one of her middle school students a "full contact lap dance" in front of her entire class.

A Florida elementary school has agreed to stop its longstanding policy of giving kids Mountain Dew as brain fuel before the state's most important standardized test.

Interesting little tidbit for all good liberals to chew over: a list of the U.S. cities with the very worst income inequality includes an inordinate number of university towns.

The parents of El Paso elementary schoolers are still trying to figure out why their kids got a strange take-home assignment that involved reading several bleak passages in which a child possibly gets abused, a wife discovers her husband is cheating, and a mother learns of her son's death at war.

A science teacher has been suspended from his job at a Los Angeles high school for helping two students with science projects that the school district considers "imitation weapons."

Last year, US college enrollment registered a notable decline for the first time in decades. The college boom had peaked. Now, the contraction begins.

The good news: Mississippi is finally teaching sex ed. The bad news: "The curricula adopted by the school district in Oxford called on students to unwrap a piece of chocolate, pass it around class and observe how dirty it became."

Cosmos is a hit, again. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a pop science star. Thanks to him, kids dream about expanding human knowledge of the phenomenal universe. Now: Where's a liberal arts rockstar to make people care about human culture that much?

New York City is so attractive that its population is growing past all-time highs. We're popular. We're cosmopolitan. And we have the most segregated schools in America.

A girl, 9, shaves her head in solidarity with a friend who's in chemo, and she gets suspended from school. Another girl, 8, wears t-shirts, jeans and sneakers, and she gets suspended, too. Their institutions have different reasons, but the result is the same: bullshit expectations put on little girls.