The last time Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter ever met with Gonzo god Hunter S. Thompson, the drug-vacuuming writer was sitting in a hotel one morning with "a tumbler of scotch, a bowl of cocaine, and some cereal." He asked Graydon what he would like. So did the patrician editor hoover up some massive lines or what? Well, he prefaces his answer by telling Charlie Rose, "I'm such a pussy." Sigh. Click to watch the tale of Gonzo vs. Non-Gonzo in action

Despite the joyous break in that nasty heat wave and the thorn in Anne Hathaway’s ass having been successfully removed, all is not well in LA today. As the NY Post reports, Larry King’s sixth wife Shawn Southwick King has ‘fessed up to a painkiller addiction, and now Us is confirming that Heather Locklear just checked herself in to an undisclosed treatment center for general craziness. So with the year's halfway point quickly approaching, we decided to check in on this year’s Rehab Class of 2008: those who’ve graduated with honors, the newest students, and the wild card alumni whose success remains a wobbly mystery.

While Amy Winehouse is in the hospital with emphysema, her Brother in Crack Pete Doherty is cleaning up. Well, at least he's taking a bath. As part of his "Come to Gig" series on YouTube the drug-filled rocker brings you into his dark, scary, mildewy world as he prepares for a show. Video of a man in trouble after the jump.

Disappearing singer Amy Winehouse has been diagnosed with emphysema, according to her father. "'The doctors have told her if she goes back to smoking drugs it won't just ruin her voice, it will kill her,' he was quoted as saying in the Sunday Mirror. 'The doctors have said that if she had continued the way she was going she could have ended up an invalid-she wouldn't have been able to breathe.' He added: 'She's got emphysema. It's in its early stages, but had it gone on for another month they painted a very vivid picture of her sitting there like an old person with a mask on her face struggling to breathe.'"

When it comes to values, there is no better role model than Paris Hilton. The heiress has a love for family members rich enough to post bail money, a love of puppies so strong it’s against the law, and a love for makin’ love in da club with other people’s boyfriends. But there are two things Paris cherishes more than anything in her Barbie Dreamhouse of a world: staying skinny and smoking the reefer. Which has recently presented a problem for the heiress with a heart of gold. According to the National Enquirer:

Just when we thought Britney’s 378th comeback attempt (you know, the real one) was on its final wobbly legs of materializing, a salacious cover story from Life & Style paints Britney as a suicidal and unstable girl (but not yet a woman). Using the headline “Britney’s Suicide Drama,” details are promised regarding the currently slimmed down doting mother who’s finally perfected that weave nonsense after years of failing, along with her battles with repeated suicide attempts. As the weekly’s source claims, “I spoke with her many times and I’ve gone to her house...She’s on major medications...like a zombie now. She’s a shell of her old self.” But after getting past the enticing glossy cover, we found several holes in the exclamatory top story, a few of which we unveil after the jump:

"I failed to realize that 'Real World' is known for getting bombed all the time." — Joey Kovar from The Real World: Hollywood on his poor decision to be on MTV's once interesting, now sad and drunken reality series. Kovar, who struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, left the show early. [Us]

Might as well go for a music star crime news two-fer this afternoon: Atlanta rap star Young Jeezy has been implicated in a major cocaine-dealing trial. A witness testifying in a case against members of Black Mafia Family—a massive Atlanta drug gang that moved hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of coke across the country—said that Jeezy bought several kilos of coke from BMF. Well, duh. Jeezy's nickname is "Snowman":

By some rare stroke of British luck, original waif Kate Moss was born with a very superheroine-esque capability: no matter what she does, from the beautiful to the grotesque to the illegal, the act will somehow wind up looking chic. Remember, this is the girl who bent over a dirty mirror to snort crusty Peruvian paint thinner in hellaciously grungy Pete Doherty’s drug den on a grainy, shaky camera and managed to make the whole thing appear "alluring" (Slate), and “glamorous” (CNN.com). Today’s case in point? Leaving the afterparty for her new fragrance launch in Berlin the other night, the supermodel’s outwardly voluminous blonde glossy hair began to fall out. Right on the red carpet. For all to see. Pictures, and why the mishap will soon be the “thing to do” on every red carpet in the future, after the jump.

UPDATE (6/14/08 @ 7:20am): Both Ms Hayek and Ms Cruz have released statements denying any connection to Mr Villarreal Barragán, his associated groups or any knowledge of who the house belonged to. In a statement, agents for the actresses said that "the production of Bandidas arranged the accomodation for all the actores, which is common practice in the film industry". The statement also said that "Penélope Cruz chose a hotel but Salma Hayek prefered a house because she was travelling with her pet dogs. Hayek never knew who owned the house or had any contact with its owners or with anything associated with the rented place, which was paid for by the production company."

The Office of National Drug Control Policy says America has never had sticky-icky so bombay: "The average amount of THC in seized samples has reached a new high of 9.6 percent. This compares to an average of just under 4 percent reported in 1983 and represents more than a doubling in the potency of the drug since that time." [ONDCP]

Salon's clinically insane advice columnist Cary Tennis today gets the chance to respond to the most stereotypical post-college question imaginable. A 24-year-old girl moved to LA to get into the film industry, found out it was shady, and got bummed out. Now she can't decide whether to move home to Florida and save up some money, or go backpacking across Thailand on a spiritual journey. We've all been there! Ann Landers gets 46 letters identical to this every week. So how does our friend Cary handle this easy setup? With his trademark brand of scary, dissociated ramblings indicative of an advanced case of schizophrenia or excessive mescaline use:

It was Burger King that saved the drug-addled Robert Downey Jr. from his addictions. After eating a disgusting hamburger at the fast food joint, Downey Jr. decided to reform and threw his drugs into the ocean.

Nothing former Broadcom CEO Henry Nicholas did is particularly remarkable to anyone who's enjoyed Brett Morgen's The Kid Stays in the Picture biopic about the life and times of Robert Evans. What's remarkable is that it was a technology CEO in Orange County and not someone in the abnormally amoral entertainment industry. As cynical and jaded as we may be about the foibles of the ultrarich of the Valley, even we were surprised by some of the stunts detailed in the allegations, if only for their naïveté.

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