Richard Quest, the most British man currently allowed on US television (he's a regular contributor to CNN and CNN International) has laid pretty low since he was arrested in Central Park with meth, sex toys, and rope. But now he's finished rehab and snuck back on television! Jossip has the most important screen grab of the week: Richard Quest exploring the shower of the new Airbus A380. Soon to be a familiar sight to wealthy international travelers, no doubt.

When you're a big time Miami crime rapper who took your name from a legendary cocaine dealer, and somebody "accuses" you of once being a prison guard, why not just admit it? Then you could have a nice laugh about how far you've come. Instead, Rick Ross denied it, and got The Smoking Gun on his case, which just keeps on releasing more evidence of his C.O. career, and now people like us are providing links to his Certificate of Appreciation "in recognition of your service as a Perfect Attendance Employee assisting the Department of Corrections." Hustlin' baby. After the jump, the now-famous photo of the big coke don at his graduation ceremony as a corrections officer, which he tried to attribute to "online hackers" or something:

Crackhead-turned Times reporter success story David Carr is loved by media types for being a cool guy, and is basking in the generally positive public attitude towards his upcoming memoir. But everything is not well in Carr's world. Oh no. Just as Carr has found the strength to open up to the world about his past drug use, an even bigger scandal threatens to overwhelm him: his incurable fondness for potatoes.

Sober rocker Courtney Love posted an open letter to her myspace page last night, in which she charges that fellow musical mess Ryan Adams had something to do with stealing "858,00$" from her-and from daughter Frances Bean Cobain. Let's all try to make sense of it together, shall we?

Even though we’re a day late on this, Dark Knight’ s “ironic” lingerie model Maggie Gyllenhaal appeared on Letterman Wednesday night and charmed the pants right off Dave with talk of everyone's favorite celebrity topic: drugs. Speaking in her standard sweetly candid tone, Maggie told a tale of a nurse whose number we’d really like to get a hold of — seems this kooky practitioner who aided Maggie with a broken toe is more than eager to push bundles of those morphine-patches-disguised-as-"painkillers"—Percocets—on her patients.

How does David Carr pull this off? The Times media critic writes in his forthcoming memoir of drug addiction that he kidnapped his children, smacked around his girlfriends and left two babies in a near-freezing car on the street for hours while he got high. This in addition to dealing drugs and fathering crack babies, which we already knew about. It's all in his book excerpt from next Sunday's Times Magazine. And yet, after reading the account, it's remarkably hard to detest the guy.

Amy Sacco, the former NYC nightlife queen whose reign on top is now (we believe) pretty much over, still has a bunch of fans at BlackBook magazine. In a new interview-one that describes Sacco in glowing terms that would have been more appropriate three years ago-she talks up her Bungalow 8 club in London. Sure, it had a rough start, and hasn't gotten the greatest reviews, but she points out that "we have a hundred more bathrooms than in New York, so, fabulous!" Ha, [cocaine joke]. But what do Sacco's customers in London have to say in their own reviews?

Comedian and nuisance to many Andy Dick has been arrested on charges of drug use and sexual battery in the small SoCal town of Murrieta. After being nabbed by police for exposing and groping a 17-year-old girl's breasts at about 2am this, he was found to be in possession of a small amount of marijuana and a single unprescribed Valium. He's being held on $5,000 bail. You may recall that the NewsRadio star was caught doing blow at a New York City nightclub just last year. The most terrifically depressing detail of this latest arrest (aside from the mugshot, above) is that it all went down outside of a fine dining establishment called Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar. Oh Andy. You're clipped. Click thru for a larger version of the mugshot. [via Smoking Gun]

As many loyal Defamer readers must know by now, our favorite blind items tend to include three elements: closeted actors, drug-addicted actresses, and those rare but joyous items that include the quote “Do you want to fuck my wife?” And kudos to the NY Daily News for providing us with the gruesomely enjoyable trifecta all in one sordid little piece today:

I have to admit, before I signed on to Valleywag, I had a few issues with the "OC-80 scare of '07." Sure, maybe jaded VCs or entrepreneurs who'd already cashed out where taking strong painkillers, but up-and-comers? They're going to be on antidepressants like Wellbutrin and Effexor — Prozac and Zoloft are old news — and stimulants. So it was some amusement that I read Provigil has become popular.

Compensating for the recent court ruling that criminalizes the sharing of drugs, NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg wants to get rid of the city's buzzkill cabaret laws, which basically outlaw dancing in clubs. Seriously! So Rotten Apple partygoers, get ready to dance the night away in a feverish haze of sweat, whirling bodies, and blurry memories of groping under flashing strobe lights. But without drugs. (Unless you bring them yourself!) [NYDN]

Middling designer and anti-patriot Kenneth Cole's blog declares that the USA's awesome title as most drugged-out country in the entire world is "A Number One We Don't Want To Be." Better ask your models about that, man. [Awearness Blog]

The upcoming issue of Star breathlessly reports that Spencer Pratt Attack ringleader and excellent on-screen kisser Mary-Kate Olsen might be headed back to the floral pastures of celebrity rehab any day now. The mag's sources cite a quasi-recent “collapse” outside an LA club, ongoing depression over her “lover” Heath Ledger’s sudden death, and brewing tension between MK and her more low-key twin, Ashley. But, as we pointed out earlier this month, the twinset’s more rebellious (and interesting) half is on a roll. After appearing on her first Elle cover solo, starring in a critically praised indie movie and, of course, teaming up with David Letterman in a campaign to destroy everyone’s most hated reality villain, Mary-Kate hasn’t shown any signs of crumbling. We took a closer look at this alleged collapse, the odds that Ledger and the itty bitty billionaire were in any way involved romantically, just how grave the tiny twosome’s differences are, and came up with three reasons why we don’t buy it.

WHICH eccentric media mogul likes to smoke weed on his balcony at work? The answer may—or may not—surprise you. (And anybody who can send over a photo of the boss getting lit at the office gets a special prize).

Shed a patriotic tear, fellow Americans: we are the most drugged-out nation in the world. A new study (of 17 nations) shows that more than 16% of Americans have done coke, and more than 42% of us have smoked weed, absolutely blowing away second place finisher New Zealand and the rest of the civilized world. Suck our woolie blunt smoke, Kiwis! Fetch our crack pipe, Netherlands lightweights! All it takes is one look at this handy chart to see... did you lock the front door? Did you hear something? Click to enlarge. Dude, awesome.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain has the affectionate support of a man accused of buying several kilos of cocaine in Atlanta from the vicious Black Mafia Family gang! McCain "was seen embracing" his close friend and confidante Young Jeezy, a rapper also known as "Snowman." Because he loves dealing cocaine! The passionate meeting of like minds occurred on the set of Saturday Night Live last month, when McCain was hosting and Jeezy was the musical guest. Here's what the thug rapper has to say about his soul-stirring connection with the Arizona Republican, who greeted Jeezy "like a god":

A new book claiming to unveil "fun, fascinating facts" about celebrities and their drug habits may just be a collection of ancient quotes and anecdotes. As the NY Post reports today, The Curious World Of Drugs And Their Friends promises sordid tales involving Lindsay Lohan and details from her substance-fueled evenings before cokepants and trees put them on the back burner, but the story they cite from a "friend" sounds eerily familiar to one of our favorite classic Lohanisms from over a year ago. And the celebrities quoted as being "unable to talk to anyone without a nose full of cocaine," and having "spent the first 35 years of my life in a fog" due to drugs have either kicked their habits long ago or already (endlessly) confirmed to the world that they were once big league nose candy fans. The stars "featured," and exactly how dusty these quips are, after the jump.

Only when we accidentally stumble upon Ted Casablancas and his long-winded, sinewy blind items do we realize how sorely we’ve missed them. The painfully obvious hints, the ridiculous nicknames – and today, one of the first blind items we’ve read in a while that doesn’t out any closeted actors:

What has turned into one of the highest-rated Real World seasons in years has also proven to be the most debaucherous. In previous seasons, we've seen more than our fair share of alcoholics, sexists and good girls gone bad, but the current 20th season cast has every problem child type all living together in one (environmentally friendly!) abode. Just rounding the halfway mark, the show has already kicked out two roommates: charismatic online audition winner Greg was given the heave-ho weeks ago, and naive little bully Joey left for drug treatment after admitting he was a daily cocaine and ecstasy user. And finally, the bratty and conservative Sarah succumbed to the tried-and-true Good Girl Drenches Hollywood In Vomit And Venom plot line, brilliantly set to Jim Morrison’s angst-ridden shouts and ending with an adorably retro Charles Barkley reference.

Loose-lipped Jack Black has recently decided to abandon his pre-married man habits like staying up too late with “beer” and “dudes,” but by far the most impressive habit Black claims to have kicked is smoking. Though we don't really immediately picture a carton of cigarettes when thinking of the Brangelina baby blabber, there are more than a few stars who we see smoking so often we automatically reach for a cancer stick whenever we see them on-screen. So who are the smokiest chimneys in Hollywood these days? We put together a list of the newbies and their predecessors, all of whom we feel should be notified that Joshua Kelley, no matter what Heigl has told them, is not, in fact, an ashtray: