The FDA is going to investigate whether the "Aeroshot" canisters of inhalable caffeine are actually safe. When you hear about widely available and totally unregulated drugs like this that are available with absolutely no medical supervision whatsoever to any kid who wanders into a convenience store, it makes you ask: is that stuff any good?

Good news for everyone out there who's been called a "meathead" or a "doofus" or a "Jersey boy" or a "oxbrain" or a "big dumb galoot" simply because you enjoy lifting weights at the gymnasium: modern research shows that all types of exercise "ward off a host of cognitive impairments and enhances brainpower all life long." Which is good, because everything else designed to prevent you from being fat will, sadly, also make you dumb.

XOJane.com beauty and health director Cat Marnell is no stranger to controversy. She's made a career out of detailing her questionable behavior with drugs and sex while dishing out foundation tips on the side. The last article she gained internet notoriety for involved her use of Plan B as a contraceptive.

It's been a little while since people freaked out about a new drug that all the kids are supposedly doing, but it's time again to cue up the fearmongering articles. This one comes to us from the Daily Mail, which warns us about the hottest new drug in England, methoxetamine. Also know as MXE, it serves as a legal alternative to ketamine. Your kids are most likely doing it in the bathroom right now as you read this.

While it may be a while before we learn the exact cause of Whitney Houston's death, the leading theory is that she fell asleep in the bathtub after taking Xanax (possibly in conjunction with alcohol).

Can we chalk this one up to the grieving process affecting his judgment? In the wake of Whitney Houston's death, Tony Bennett performed in tribute to her at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy gala. And while I believe his heart was in the right place, he had some baffling things to say about the way we treat drugs in this country.

Yesterday, the U.S. attorney's office put an end to a two-year investigation into Lance Armstrong's potential performance-enhancing drug use. After surviving testicular cancer, Armstrong won the Tour de France seven years in a row between 1999 and 2005 (or, as we called it in 2003, the Tour de Freedom).

The US Army has launched an investigation into workout supplements after two soldiers fell down and died from heart attacks after taking pre-workout boosters like Jack3d and OxyElite Pro, which contain DMAA, a no good very bad/ perfectly safe amphetamine that either gives you heart attacks or is totally innocuous, depending on who you ask.

Depending on your perspective, Demi Moore had either the most destructive or the most ambitious January in the history of 49-year-olds. Not everyone can pack a penis cake party and a whip-its-related overdose into a single month. But not everyone is Demi.

No one should be surprised that Joan Rivers hits the bong every now and again. That she likes to burn one down. She would just puff, blaze, and toke on dat green chron every 420, if she had her way.

Hey laaadies. As it turns out, those teeny little pills you were taking to ensure that no fetus found its way into your precious womb may actually have been conspiring against you, having the complete opposite effect. Pfizer has recalled over one million packets of birth control pills, varying in brand name and potency, due to a packaging error. A packaging error that helps you get pregnant, rather than prevents.

The littlest Toolman Taylor was arrested last night and charged with a DUI and possession of hash. Hash? What is this, Europe? Tres chic, Taran. Just think how disappointed wise old Wilson would be if he knew what you had become.

Since all things go in 20 year cycles, we're about to be inundated with all sorts of '90s nostalgia. While I'm all for ironically dancing to "Poison" and embracing M.C. Hammer harem pants, there is one relic from my good old days that needs to stay in the past: Special K.

Neuropsychiatric researchers say that although traditional antidepressants can take weeks to work, depressed patients who are given BANANAS 'PAUSE BUTTON ON YOUR BRAIN' K-HOLE-INDUCING CLUB DRUG KETAMINE A.K.A. SPECIAL K feel relief from their depression "almost instantly." But could huge shots of heroin combined with a baseball bat to the head be equally effective? Ketamine-receiving patients say [just stares at the wall].

I really hope someone at the L.A. City Attorney's Office appreciates the asinine logic here. TMZ reports that Demi Moore's 911 call — the one in which a friend said Demi had smoked something "like incense" — was edited to remove specific drug references. Because, you know, that totally makes a difference.

Before her reported whip-it induced hospitalization, a "pretty hyper" Demi Moore was also "taking Adderall and drinking energy drinks and starving herself," Radar claims. Whip-its, anorexia, Red Bull, Adderall. It's like she was pledging with a second-tier sorority at Florida State. [Radar, E!, image via Getty]

Nobody seemed to know that Demi Moore was a wild whip-it party monster until she was hospitalized for a rumored whip-it induced seizure this week. Now that we know, though, the tabloids are doing catch-up. Here's all the wild whip-it partying they forgot to tell us about until now:

Monday night, Demi Moore took an ambulance to the hospital because of drugs. Well, her publicist said it was "exhaustion," but, fuck you, we know what that means. So everyone wondered just what drugs she was on. Now we know. It was Whip-Its.

Let's get one thing clear: Randye Hoder, a mom, is no narc. She is such a non-narc that she wrote an entire column in the New York Times' parenting blog about how she would never narc, no matter what her 14 year-old son Nathaniel (who has her husband's last name, Wartzman) tells her.

A while ago, a twenty-something geek we'll call Martin arranged a meeting with some potential clients in an an unusual place: the sidewalk across the street from a police precinct on Manhattan's West Side.