"They're smart, successful professionals who never miss a day's work - the very opposite of the image of the problem drinker," writes London's Telegraph in an article about functional alcoholics. The real question remains: are you one? Delightfully, the amount of alcohol their subjects consume each week — all successful lady professionals, have we mentioned that? — is broken down into an easy-to-read daily booze diary. See how you measure up!

In "support of his Irish roots," the mediocre late-night talk show host (and WGA picket-crosser) will support Proposition 3-17. In case you think that's important: it's not. It's just a Guinness-sponsored petition to make St. Patrick's Day an official holiday. Daly will rally with New Yorkers tomorrow in Herald Square to make it so! Which is completely unnecessary; the Irish don't need special holidays to go around drinking al fresco. [Proposition 3-17]