Please enjoy this holiday greeting from the good people at Deutsch Inc., the advertising behemoth helmed by cable television personality Donny Deutsch. Here's a little bit of trivia that might add to your enjoyment of the video: After filming, Donny impregnated the reindeer.

• The secret to Headline News' success? Bloviators, and plenty of 'em. [NYT]
  

• Arthur Sulzberger may try to take the New York Times private rather than see it fall into the hands of Hank Greenberg or Jack Welch. [BW]
  

• Morgan Stanley continues to slap Sulzberger around. [NYP]
  

• Blogs: worse than the sixties. [NYT]
• Walter Scott, Walt Whitman also guilty of "sock puppetry." [NYT]
• Joe Hagan throws pretty much everything but the revelation that Bill Keller loves "The Wire" into this profile. [NYM]
• New magazine to battle Portfolio for that all-important douchebag demographic. [NYT]
• Speaking of douchebags, it's hard to identify to twattiest statement in this profile of the Flavorpill folks, but we're going to settle on, "We've been called the Cond Nast of e-mail." [NYT]
• Apparently, people wanted to see pictures of Suri Cruise. [WWD]
• Bill Gates has no iPod. Thank you, Donny Deutsch! [copyranter]

Our political-minded sibling over at Wonkette points us to a recent interview with alleged plagiarist Ann Coulter, 45, which, even with all our experience watching the 45-year-old alleged plagiarist, still manages to shock us. According to Ann, Bill Clinton is... wait for it... a gay. And why? Well, because of the women he slept with.

I would have done it despite not knowing what they're talking about.

Joan Rivers just can't get enough of internet dating. After being revealed as a user of Match.com, she went on the Today Show to talk about her frustrations and go on five quickie dates with five very uncomfortable men. Presumably none of those worked out enough to keep her occupied, and so Joan's taken to playing matchmaker for advertising guru and talk show host Donny Deutsch. Why, does His Manliness need a little help? Apparently the fig-leaf-cum-swimsuit isn't doing him any favors.

Copyranter Mark Duffy, arguably the angriest living boy in New York, happened across insufferable adman Donny Deutsch's new column in Jason Binn's equally insufferable Gotham magazine. Deutsch, Binn, Gotham: They're all things we do our best to avoid, and so we owe great thanks to 'Ranter Duffy, who took a good luck at Deutsch's first effort — it's called, theoretically cleverly, "Deutsch Mark" — and crunched the numbers that remind us why we engage in that avoidance: