• Lindsay Lohan certainly had an eventful weekend. After a judge issued a warrant for her arrest on Friday, Lindsay had a meltdown on Twitter and ended up in a fight with Sam Ronson that was so intense, the cops had to be called. It's not over yet: She's scheduled to appear in court today, although she may not show. [People, Gawker, TMZ, NYP]
• Olivia Palermo isn't making friends in her Tribeca apartment building. She strutted past the people gathered in the lobby last Thursday "completely oblivious" to the fact that one of the building's apartments was on fire. [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and her trainer Tracy Anderson are having trouble finding people to pay $4,500 to join their new Tribeca gym. What a surprise. [P6]

The still-stunning Stephanie Seymour turns 40 today. Also celebrating: Aged radio personality Don Imus is 68, Philip Seymour Hoffman is 41, and local news institution Kaity Tong is 59. Estate jeweler Fred Leighton (who is actually named Murray Mondschein) is 76. Harry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe is turning 19. Omar Epps is 35. The New Yorker's Hendrik "Rick" Hertzberg is turning 65. And former Law & Order actress Stephanie March will celebrate her 34th birthday tonight, an event that we imagine will be commemorated with an extravagant meal alongside husband, Bobby Flay.

• The messy divorce case between Peter Cook and Christie Brinkley has just gotten messier. Days after a judge ruled that the trial would be kept open, it was revealed that Cook handed over $300,000 to Diana Bianchi, the 20-year-old girl he cheated on Brinkley with, in exchange for a promise that she wouldn't sue him for sexual harassment or discuss the affair. Of course, the cash won't prevent her from speaking out in court if she's called to testify. [NYP]

Salty old radio crank Don Imus may have moved from CBS to ABC (by way of shame and unemployment), but he's as charming and irrepressibly bigoted as ever! Just 14 months after getting fired for referring to Rutgers' women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos," Imus interrupted an announcer on his ABC show to ask about the race of a Dallas Cowboys cornerback who was arrested six times. "What color is he?" Imus asked. Told the cornerback was black, Imus said, "there you go. Now we know." To the casual observer, this might look like an open-and-shut case of racism, but Imus has basically never been held accountable for his many slurs against blacks, Jews, Arabs or gays, so he's probably assuming ABC will eagerly swallow his comically implausible excuse for these latest comments: "I meant that he was being picked on because he's black." Oh, Imus. We knew no 40-second delay could stop your wacky racism. Audio clip after the jump.

Those adorably violent animal lovers over at PETA have temporarily ceased from attacking fur-toting starlets with tomatoes to round up their nominees for this year’s Sexiest Vegetarian award. And judging by the list of potential winners, it seems that granola-loving male celebrities are seriously lacking in the “sexy” department as compared to their female counterparts. Herbivores like Naomi Watts and Natalie Portman are listed among the ladies, whereas guyliner fans, racist talk show hosts and '80s heartthrob-turned-has-beens make up the majority of the male contenders. We take a closer look at the uneven distribution after the jump.

Don Imus witnessed his career nearly implode when he made racist on-air comments in 2006, but the cadaver-faced shock jock has since returned to helm his nationally syndicated radio show Imus in the Morning.

Don Imus can't catch a break, besides the many inexplicable ones he's been handed on platters made of various precious metals over the course of his infuriating career! The cruel and stupid old prick is now, gratifyingly, getting sued for $4 million. Sadly it's for something actually kind of amusing: "Flatsigned Press Inc., a book publisher based in Nashville, Tenn., says Imus insulted the company last year in ads it paid for to promote a book by Ford on the Warren Commission's investigation into the 1963 assassination of President John F. Kennedy." Imus called the ads "cheesy," considered an actionable insult only when spoken by a character in Happy Days, and mocked the ad copy as he read it. This all happened last January, by the way. CBS and WFAN offered to settle last February, but Flatsigned rejected the offer. Let this be a lesson to Imus—you can crack racist all you like, but lay off the sponsors. [AP]

The Rutgers women's basketball team doesn't care if sad old coot Don Imus returns to the radio. Al Sharpton doesn't really care either (though he will be "monitoring"). So far, the people who seem to care about Don Imus' multi-million dollar WABC deal are the guy he'll be bumping to late morning and Joe Scarborough, professional carer-about-things (and the guy at Imus' old timeslot on MSNBC).

Wealthy Connecticut cowboy and casual racist Don Imus is finally returning to the airwaves! WABC is going to pay the mean old man millions of dollars (or "a eight-figure, multiyear contract," according to DRUDGE) to bring his trademark blend of ethnic jokes and embarrassing appearances from fawning political journalists back to New York's morning drivetime.

"Citadel Broadcasting is close to finalizing a contract with Don Imus that would bring the controversial radio host back to the airwaves, a person familiar with the discussions said Tuesday. It was not immediately clear from where Imus would be heard, but Citadel owns WABC in New York, making its morning slot a logical destination. It also owns WPLJ-FM." [Newsday]

Over the weekend, loud-mouth asshat and Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly pulled what sort of looked like a Don Imus—but was really much worse. It seems that O'Reilly's most recent encounters with the black community have left him seriously impressed with how much progress they've made since he last checked in with them in the 70s. Concert-goers at that Anita Baker concert were well-dressed! And dinner in Harlem with the Reverend Al Sharpton? O'Reilly said on his radio show that it was "like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense that people were sitting there, they were ordering and having fun and there wasn't any kind of craziness at all!"

· Don Imus earns a multi-million dollar windfall for calling the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos." Nicely played, CBS! [Variety]
· Disney adds Bernie Mac to a magical Old Dogs cast that already includes John Travolta and Robin Williams; Mac will play the part of the take-no-shit character that glowers out from the one-sheet as his harried co-stars are run ragged by the 7-year-old twins they have no idea how to care for. [THR]
· Rosario Dawson hitches her wagon to Shia Labeouf's quickly rising star, signing on for the DreamWorks thriller Eagle Eye. [Variety]
· Fox's late-summer crap (the Hell's Kitchen finale and a new episode of So You Think You Can Dance) easily wins Monday night against other network's rerun garbage. [THR]
· NBC cordially invites the loyal viewers of Today to choke on a new, fourth hour of their beloved morning chatfest. [Variety]

"Radio host Don Imus has agreed to settle his claim with CBS for $20 million, and a non disparaging clause, legal sources claim. The move opens the possibility Imus will soon return to the airwaves—on WABC in New York! Developing..." [Drudge]

"WHY are slutty, sleazy, boozy cocaine- fueled tarts still in possession of careers to blow while Don Imus is home? Why's jailbird Paris Hilton, maybe jailbird Nicole Richie, could-be jailbird Lindsay Lohan, should-be jailbird Britney Spears on front pages showing their crotches and their cracks while philanthropic Don Imus, who has raised so much money for so many causes, and was doing precisely the shtick he was contracted to do, is being penalized? Is this sane? Like the Don Imus style or don't like the Don Imus style, that mouth was signed to do just what he was doing and, yeah, he insulted a basketball team - but underwearless role models for our young people who are vomiting and passing out and making sex tapes and getting extra chances and more and more TV time are an affront to everyone." If you guessed "a crazy lady sitting on the stoop in a housedress ranting at passers-by," you are correct. We would also have accepted "Cindy Adams." [NYP]

• Lockhart Steele: Elizabeth Spiers invented the Internet. [MarketWatch]
  

• Don Imus' contract with CBS said: "Services to be rendered are of a unique, extraordinary, irreverent, intellectual, topical, controversial, and personal character." Legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin thinks that makes Imus's $40 million lawsuit against CBS a bit more plausible. [CNN]
  

• Very odd array of online publishers, print media, and actual businesses look to cash in on whole environment thing. [LAT]
  

David Broder—known as "the dean of the Washington press corps" because he taught a young H.L. Mencken how to read—offers his thoughts on the Imus affair and the Duke lacrosse incident today. Broder's columns usually read like a parody of, well, Broder columns, but this morning's missive is almost a parody of a parody of a Broder column.

• Nike uses the Don Imus controversy for an ad campaign it hopes "will spark continued conversation about race in America." And sell sneakers. [AdAge]
  

Last week we shocked ourselves—and others—by actually enjoying Keach Hagey's Village Voice Press Clips column. Would this bonhomie survive another week? You can probably guess, but you might as well click through anyway for the full report.