Michael Wolff has a habit of surreptitiously offering meta-commentary on his own untidy life via his Newser columns. Today's headline: "Here's Why I Like Silvio Berlusconi." At this point we have to assume he's just fucking with us.

Should you, the Average Joe Schmoe Loser Nobody "Little Person," be allowed to see all the dirty details of a rich, famous person's divorce? Rich, famous people do not think that you should, surprisingly!

As previously reported in tell-all novel form, superproducer Brian Grazer has split from his wife of 11 years, The Starter Wife author Gigi Levangie. Well now the divorce is final and, because of an ironclad prenup, ol' Grazerhead wasn't taken to the cleaners.

Ha. Brad Grey, the forever-head of Paramount Pictures, is divorcing his wife of 25 years, Jill. The ex-missus just signed the papers and, out of either amity or cruel spite, she added a smiley face.

Not even the "traditionalist" Catholics can keep it together! Mel Gibson's wife Robyn has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Married in 1980, the couple has seven children together and millions of Passion-of-the-Christ dollars.

Why has Justine Musk, the estranged wife of the CEO of Tesla Motors, spoken out about their divorce and his new fiancée? It might have something to do with money, and Elon Musk's lack thereof.

Media beef-starter Michael Wolff is getting a divorce, one month after news broke of his affair with his 28-year-old employee Victoria Floethe.

Caterina Fake, who cofounded Flickr with husband Stewart Butterfield in 2004, has a new startup, Hunch, which may be launching soon. But where's the other half of the famous Web 2.0 couple?

Okay so you know that Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David needs $53K per week to live because her CEO (soon-to-be-ex) husband was overly generous and divorce-fetishy (and submissive), but did you know she made him rich?

Why would a rich guy sleep with his trophy wife and another woman? Because he's a lying cheat? Or because his uncontrollable Swedish bride knew he was leaving but took his body anyway?

Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David was in court explaining why she wants $100 million in her divorce: her husband was too generous! Then again, he's a heartless control freak. And she's a shrew! They're perfect together:

Some people's entire lives were created just to help the tabloids stoke class warfare. There's no other explanation for Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David, who needs $53K per week just to survive. She can prove it!

Steven Simkin, a partner at a big New York law firm, is suing his ex-wife, Laura Blank, for $2.7 million he paid in a divorce settlement for her half of a Bernie Madoff account.

Just months after making Matt Lauer cry inside about his divorce, Meredith Vieira proclaims a tourist couple's 30-year marriage over on the Today show. Click to watch the mean lady who causes all divorce.

Typically, when one is tasking one's publicist with the announcement of just about the biggest divorce payout ever made to an ex-husband, one wouldn't claim two days later, "Ooops, clicked 'send' too early!"

Finally, Guy Ritchie is going to get financial compensation for marrying/sexing/ignoring the pile of macrobiotic sinews that America affectionately calls "Madonna." And, according to the Material Girl's rep, the divorce settlement is major:

Have you heard the big crazy news? Guy Ritchie, film director, is getting between $76 and $92 million in divorce settlement monies from his now ex-wife, folk singer Madonna Louise Ciccone. That is so much cheddar that maybe a mouse has died from being so happy while dreaming of it! And the funny thing is, who the F was Guy Ritchie before she came along? Just a dude who made some dude-ish British indie crime caper movies (and is now making Sherlock Holmes wiff Robert Downey Jr) and well, hell, he could retire now forever and never have to pretend he has a viable career ever again. Just like:

So, former MSNBC guy Dan Abrams is starting a "consulting" firm full of random media people to give advice to rich corporate clients about how to handle media-related issues. Do you know what that's called? It's called a PR firm. But this PR firm would never call itself that, because that would make the media people it employs sound corrupt. The thing is, this firm's business plan is so annoying that the rest of the media (us) is going to cover its clients even harder to make up for it. For example! Abrams' first client is billionaire Ron Perelman. Now why would Ron Perelman need to worry about his reputation?

Send Alex Kuczynski some sympathy plastic surgery gift certificates. Because the très public, cosmetic surgery-loving former New York Times high-priced-shopping beat reporter (and now sometimes Times freelancer) may be getting a divorce from her older, bazillionaire husband. Or at least Cityfile is hearing things to that effect! Kuczynski and money man Charles Stevenson have been married for six years, and had a baby by surrogate last April. But, I guess now it could be over. Cityfile's main evidence, I suppose, is the fact that Kuczynski has been laying low of late. She backed out of fashion designer Dian von Furstenberg's recent charity spelling bee (that this exists at all brings immeasurable joy/worry to my heart) and her usual consumerism-crazy Times articles have been in short supply these past few months. In fact, her most recent article was a review of actor Alec Baldwin's new book, I Never Promised You a Rainbow A Promise to Ourselves. And what is that book about? D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Sad if it's true. Though on the bright side, maybe it would leave her more time for fabulous shopping trips and, erm, Idaho orgies.

The ink is barely dry on those first giddy divorce filings, and already the vultures are circling world's biggest pop star Madonna and her cuckolded soon-to-be ex-husband, "film director" Guy Ritchie. While the two stars themselves have remained relatively demure about the whole matter—Madge makes the same "emotionally retarded" joke at every concert, Guy reportedly said on the set of his new film Sherlock Holmes, "today's going to be a weird one, but don't feel awkward because this is where I want to be" while waving a copy of a British tabloid—the press has been a little more salacious. The latest Us Weekly features a gushy, long-for-that-publication article on the storied split, providing hideous and sad details like how Ritchie used to refer to sex with his Isla Bonita as "cuddling up with a piece of gristle." That's just... well, that's poetry Mr. Ritchie. How messy is this thing going to get? One hopes, because there are three young children involved, that they'll keep their cool and blunder on in private. Though discretion is not always Maddy's forte and Guy will have to come to terms with the fact that he's not really famous without his muscly bride. Though juicy details about Madonna's Kaballah-fueled romp in the twenty million dollar hay with Yankees sucker Alex Rodriguez and Ritchie's supposed on-set romance with a young British chippy promise to "entertain" for some time. Plus, there are wonderful unconfirmed tidbits about Madge slapping Guy and calling him a coward for eating chocolate bars, and Guy returning fire by calling her old and wrinkly. Whee! The tabloid press will, of course, screech and caw and ruffle their feathers, pulling smaller and smaller strands of meat from this marriage's dessicated carcass, but eventually—if Madonna and Guy play it close to their chests—they'll have to find some other moldering corpse of a blessed union to feed off of. Who's due? Um... Ashlee and Pete? Nicole Richie and that man that she married? Elton and David??