Finally, Guy Ritchie is going to get financial compensation for marrying/sexing/ignoring the pile of macrobiotic sinews that America affectionately calls "Madonna." And, according to the Material Girl's rep, the divorce settlement is major:

Liz Rosenberg tells The Associated Press that Madonna, 50, has given Ritchie, 40, between $76 million to $92 million as part of their divorce agreement. (The figure includes the value of the couple's country home Ashcombe in western England, she said.)

Although the singer keeps the bulk of her estimated $500 million fortune, "I'd assume it's one of the largest payouts ever in a divorce settlement," Rosenberg noted.

Rosenberg confirms that Madonna will be in England for Christmas, though she's cagey over British reports that the singer will be staying with Ritchie at Ashcombe so that the children can have all of their family present for the holiday. And what a fun, freewheeling holiday it will be!

‘He is planning on having a traditional turkey dinner – although all the food will be organic at Madonna’s insistence.

‘Madonna doesn’t really like Ashcombe but she thinks it’s important that they put on a united front for the kids. She will, however, be eating a different meal as she will only eat fish. She will also be working out on Christmas Day.’

While we know that Jews celebrate Christmas differently (if at all), we admit Madonna's approach is a new one: after Lourdes, Rocco, and David unwrap presents of B12-filled syringes and New York Yankee pajamas, the pop star will retire to her thirteen-hour Christmas Day workout, stopping only to swallow a halibut whole (scales and all) and to buzz the Ashcombe intercom, taunting, "Allowance, Guy, Allowance."