Minnesota's greatest, Michele Bachmann, and several other patriotic congressmen held a presser today announcing the launch of the House Tea Party Caucus! Her office also released a list of inaugural members — some of whom didn't know they'd signed up.

French affirmative action! Sexism in surveys! Oakland police racism riots! Gay Googlers! Blacks allowed to own land! It's your Thursday Equality Watch, where we watch equality—from a position of superiority!

In your comment-free Monday media column: Tracy Morgan sits at the fancy table, rumors of a departure from Vogue, the WSJ targets NYT advertisers, everyone wants student newspapers to shut up, and black reporters are disappearing fast.

These are the participants in the National Review's online symposium on the recession's disproportionate effect on African-Americans.

NYPD "stop-and-frisk" breakdown, 2009: 55% black, 32% Hispanic, 10% white, 3% Asian. Great work, guys.

In a new survey, male and female business professionals both agree that entry-level jobs are gender-neutral—but about twice as many men as women said executive-level jobs are equally open to both sexes. Among those men: your boss. [WSJ]

Trailblazing freedom-spreader Barack Obama has named Amanda Simpson, a transgender person, as a senior technical advisor to the Commerce Department. Which is apparently a Presidentially-appointed post, and therefore notable! Here's hoping that more former males and former females will one day be appointed to government posts that people actually understand, as well.
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Earlier this week, we learned how Highest Paid Man on Wall Street Hugh "Skip" McGee III ignited a culture war over a prep school pep rally. Now, the aftermath: Kinkaid school email lists overfloweth and diversity is banned.

In your intermittently gloomy Monday media column: a new font at the New York Times, a fantastical price for the Boston Globe, black people would like to be invited on television sometimes, and the recession proves Steve Forbes right:

Oh. Oh no. Oh no they didn't. Today in "Onion Stories Come True": The city of Toronto adds some diversity—magically!

To make up for employing Sean Delonas, News Corp. is forming a "diversity community council" to rubber-stamp bland statements affirming the company's commitment to non-white individuals, or whatever. Which frees up Sean Delonas to expose NObama as an Arabian terrorist!

Susan Boyle lost Britain's Got Talent! To a dance troupe called "Diversity." Wow. [Via]

We live in a racist world, but the Delaware Department of Transportation is doing something about it: issuing a hilarious memo! Who wrote this, some "retard" "homo" "typical white person?" Below, the best idiot guidelines:

The NAACP, once America's premier civil rights group but now even less influential than PETA, has sent a letter to America's biggest advertisers demanding that they hire agencies that have black executives. Does anyone care?

Hey, empathetic bald man Montel Williams is "getting his own national radio show through a multi-year deal with Air America Radio," which is kinda like Maury Povich getting a "national" column in Steppin Out.

Recycling last year's Black History Month stock photography to save a buck: that's the Wal-Mart way. Come on, evil corporations. Fake diversity is 'Wack, Yo,' as minorities say:

Obama's inauguration being held on the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. day? Historic! Moving! And, for corporate America, a great chance to get a two-for-one deal on its annual "We Love Diversity" ads.

Now that Obama has been elected, a tipster inside a PR firm tells us, clients are demanding "an increased number of African Americans added to the guest list" at their holiday parties. In the spirit of hope! The email can't really be "verified," but appears genuine and is just too important not to share. This firm has even assembled an official internal "Diversified Holiday Guest List," in which they rank the top 10 acceptable black socialite attendees, in order of desirability. Uh... yes we can? After the jump, meet the fashion world's ten favorite African-Americans for Obama-era parties. Jesus christ:

A nonprofit group called Commercial Closet is trying to persuade the ad industry to be less stereotypical when it comes to portraying LGBT issues (THE GAYS). That would mean not making ads like that one Nike ad with the balls in the face or that other Snickers ad with Mr. T and the gun aimed at the possibly gay individual. Considering how much progress the ad industry has made with the race issue, we'd bet on South Carolina levels of sensitivity for the foreseeable future. Keep your gay cooties out of Bill O'Reilly's mayonnaise, homos. [Ad Age]

The advertising industry is too white! It's been an issue forever-see any episode of Mad Men for the historical perspective. Two years ago the NYC Commission on Human Rights decided to hold hearings about diversity in advertising, and all the big ad agency conglomerates enthusiastically signed on. Declaring a firm commitment to diversity is a modern hallmark of the ad industry, along with every other industry. Since diversity hasn't been achieved, of course, the hearings drag on to this day. But Ad Age reports that at last night's meeting, only six white people showed up, and "two were members of the commission, two were lawyers and one was a journalist." That's problematic, since white people are supposed to be the ones getting educated here. And they got called on it: