Today, the FDA announced that food companies will soon be required to list “added sugars” on nutritional labels. Stop adding so much sugar, to everything!!!

Donald Trump, a man whose garbage output is matched only by his diet of garbage, just released a doctor’s note saying what fine shape he’s in, using the sort of language usually associated with a racehorse or fighting dog.

John Glaude once weighed 360 lbs., but the 21-year-old went "from obese to beast" over 7 months of diet and exercise. Now he's down to a muscular 200 lbs., with a flat stomach and thick biceps, and he's a lot more comfortable with his body. Except for one thing.

Salt: good? Bad? Both! It will kill you no matter what you do.

Nuts: the demure yet dynamic dynamos at nature's table. Might it be true, friends, that eating nuts will actually cause you to not die? Yes. It is absolutely true. Science celebrates The Nut!

Hello, it is time for "Hey, Science," our nauseatingly scientific weekly feature in which we have your most provocative scientific questions answered by real live scientists (or related experts). No question is too smart for us to tackle, which will be our downfall. This week, medical experts answer the question: Can you eat your own poop?

Well it looks like your vegetarian friends will be bitching about the eggplant parmesan at your post-funeral lunch too, because they're definitely out-living you.

As of Saturday, the Danish government is charging a surtax of 16 kroners per kilogram ($6.27 per pound) of saturated fat in high-cholesterol grocery items. That's almost a whole kroner per danish! The goal's to curb heart disease, not obesity.

Snooki is known for eating fried pickles and drinking sugary cocktails that come in glasses larger than her head—including the pouf (RIP)! Now we hear that she's on a diet to slim down for the next season of Jersey Shore. Say what?

Inspired by San Francisco, a new bill before the New York City Council seeks to put dietary restrictions on meals that come with free toys. They better watch out. I'd hate to run into Ronald McDonald in a dark alley.

Hormone diets! Slow eating! Teen dying! Teen drinking! Greek eating! Urethra growing! Big loser-ing! Cartoon food! And incompetent old people driving around dangerously! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—unconventionally!

New research conducted at the University of Nottingham claims that people who eat five more portions of vegetables than they normally do became tan and thereby "more attractive," by increasing "carotenoid levels giving your skin golden tones." Well okay! [BBC]

Breaking: Andy Rooney is still a nearly unintelligible curmudgeon! Tonight on 60 Minutes, Rooney launched into a random rant about dieting before he declared that he plans to lose 20 lbs. before Halloween. Uh, by shaving his eyebrows? Video inside.

We once made fun of "Paleos," the "small New York subculture whose members seek good health through a selective return to the habits of their Paleolithic ancestors." But, by God, Dutch food conglomerate 'Unilever' is doing the same thing!

Scared of getting Alzheimer's? Just guzzle some "relaxation drink," eat a "horseshoe sandwich," and wobble on the Wii. You'll forget all about it. It's time for your daily health watch, where we watch your health—dangerously!

20 zaftigs piled into a Swedish Weight Watchers facility to have their corpulence quantified: "We suddenly heard a huge thud; we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed..."