The latest from deranged luxury goods craftsman Stuart Hughes: a solid gold iPad 2 that is studded with 65 flawless diamonds, framed with prehistoric mollusk fossils, and inlaid with shards from the thigh bone of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Asking price is $8 million.

Ant sex! Bacteria attack! Sleep screwing! Quantum internet! Atlantis shuttle! Safe playgrounds! Disappearing diamonds! Star formation! Asteroid scars! And the bug that haunts your every waking moment! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—on the down low!

Next time you're at your local Costco, you know, buying that 5 lb. box of Swedish Fish, stocking up on frozen shrimp, maybe trying on wedding dresses, and ogling the cut-price flatscreens, maybe you want to pick up a diamond ring while you're at it—a $1 million diamond ring. Yup.

The most visited exhibit on the planet, the Hope Diamond, was removed from its post for a high tech investigation of the sparkling force allegedly behind the downfall of Louis IV, Marie Antoinette and King George IV.

This 24.78-carat "fancy intense pink" diamond just sold for $46 million at a Swiss auction, making it the most expensive jewel ever sold. It's okay, though! The birthstone necklace you bought at a truck stop is very pretty, too.

Kanye West showed off his diamond teeth to Ellen DeGeneres yesterday, sparking a whole new round of speculation about his expensive dentures. One dentist thinks his diamond teeth are as bad for his health as they are for his ego.

[Adriana Lima models Victoria's Secret's "$2 Million Bombshell Fantasy Bra," an undergarment containing 60 carats of white diamonds and 82 carats of topaz and sapphire. This is Victoria's Secret being recession-friendly; 2008's "Fantasy Bra" was worth $5 million. More inside.]

Our two favorite Hollywood attention-seekers—perpetually naked heiress Peaches Geldof and rant-prone torture porn provocateur Eli Roth—went out for dinner last night in London, and Eli posed pointing to Peaches' ring-finger diamond. Don't worry, she's "100% not engaged."

Could there be a more perfect fusion of violence and capitalism than the bejeweled, gold-encrusted, 31-weapon arsenal uncovered by the Mexican Attorney General's office in a raid this week? Also, could there be anything more tacky? Click for more pictures.

"Do you love chocolate almost as much as you love diamonds?" Yes, and??? Long have I waited to meet others like me: Wealthy lovers of gaudy jewels and cheap candy. If only...

Did you know that Kim Kardashian is in Botswana at the moment? (That's the country in Africa named Botswana, by the way, in case you were thinking it might be some new jungle-themed club in LA.) What could possibly explain Kardashian's decision to travel to such a poor African country? Diamonds, of course! Kim and boyfriend Reggie Bush made the trip as "representatives" of Russell Simmons' Diamond Empowerment Fund, a foundation backed by companies like DeBeers that assists "economically disadvantaged people in African nations where diamonds are a natural resource." But DeBeers & Co. is totally getting its money (or diamonds') worth. Kardashian is learning all sorts of interesting things about the economy of Africa, and she's sharing her newfound knowledge on Twitter: "Did u know that 75% of Botswana's economy is supported by diamonds?" Actually, we didn't. But now we do! We fully expect to see Kim talking economics with Jeffrey Sachs when she gets back to the States. In the meantime, you'll find a few more of Kardashian's revelations—opposite a photo of Kim in a bikini, weirdly—below.

How poor are people, these days? So poor that rappers can't afford to wear half-million-dollar chains any more! That's the thesis of a story which is surely false (nobody could ever really afford to wear a half-million-dollar chain), but it raises the question: what is the post-bling thing?

De Beers thought that buying diamond jewelry would be a popular activity during this recession, but you know what? It isn't.

Here's a preposterous contrarian strategy: Evil diamond merchant De Beers is more than doubling its marketing spending this holiday season, because they have "new research showing diamond jewelry will be the number-one gift for the holidays in 2008." Oh really? Diamonds made out of compressed spam, boiled into a thin soup and served with watery Kool-Aid, maybe. De Beers says their ad campaign will be "philosophical." That philosophy is egoism with a touch of apocalypticism. [WWD]

One of the biggest polished gems in history has been unearthed from a diamond mine in Lesotho, Southern Africa. The "nearly flawless" 478-carat white diamond will be worth many millions, none of which will presumably go to the miners who risked life and limb to get it. Still, knowing that it'll make the perfect ring for the next time Jennifer Lopez gets engaged is no doubt reward enough. [Independent]

Hip hop mogul Russell Simmons reportedly had a suitcase full of his jewelry stolen from a downtown apartment yesterday. Considering the fact that the case contained "three diamond rings, a pendant, three sets of earrings and two bracelets," from Simmons' own jewelry company, the reported total value—$15,000—is pretty meager. That's partly because Simmons is involved a much-derided effort to improve the reputation of the diamond industry, which somehow trickles down to his own company in the form of cheap jewelry that gives a cut of its (relatively small) profits to charity. Which is better: Charitable, uglier, cheaper jewelry, or much shinier jewelry that embraces nothing but out-and-out materialism? These questions are important to moguls. To help you decide, there's a collection after the jump; Simmons' company's jewelry versus some pieces from Jacob the Jeweler—hip hop's gaudiest diamond guy. Each is terrible in its own way: