Today in "Why Detroit Can't Have Nice Things:" one Detroit newspaper caught a writer for another Detroit newspaper tagging up a brand new bridge—which was, by definition, the nicest thing in Detroit. Allow us to defend her crime!

Chris Hansen traveled to Detroit, Michigan for a Dateline special that aired tonight on the state of what is probably America's most desolate city. And in aerial footage—devastation porn at its best—Detroit's grim plight was revealed. Video inside.

Poor Detroit! First an economic catastrophe, now an olfactory one: After a woman sued the city because her coworker's perfume gave her breathing problems, Detroit is warning city workers not to wear "any scented products." [Detroit News]

Fittingly, the premiere for this movie was in Detroit, where they have absolutely nothing to look forward to other than the complete and total collapse of their infrastructure and this. Mensa members Juggalos (fans of Horrorcore, or in layman's terms—the worst music ever to grace this planet, including Reggaeton sung by fat children), braved the frigid temperatures to see the movie. One person drove from freaking Kentucky to go to the premiere.

Rugged personality-possessing newspaperman Charlie LeDuff can typically be found roaming Detroit in search of frozen hobo bodies and colorful raccoon hunters. Today, he has a more serious topic: Enough violence to make you...well, never want to go to Detroit.

The City of Detroit just wanted to hand out 5,000 applications for housing and bill payment aid to those at risk of homelessness, so of course chaos and violence erupted.

Gambling, gangsters, celebrities, creeps—Las Vegas is "journalism heaven," says this guy. OH? We know a few cities that would dispute that. Newspapers may be dying, but news is alive and well. Where are America's Best Stories? Candidates below!

In your soothing Wednesday media column: the Boston Globe has a sense of humor, Jon Friedman turns 10, the Weekly Standard's getting dumped, Steve Doocy's kid finds a job, and crazy people want to start a new newspaper.

General Motors is bankrupt. Whoops. It was probably going to happen no matter what, but lots of people hoped that bankruptcy would remain a threat that would encourage everyone to band together to save the company. Who is to blame for the death of the American auto industry?

Leduff, last seen poking around a dead body encased in ice in an abandoned Detroit warehouse, has now profiled a Detroit retiree, Glemie Dean "Coon Man" Beasley, who hunts raccoons and eats them or sells them. This just barely meets Charlie Leduff's minimum standards of manly quirk.

Detroit's two newspapers apparently needed confirmation that no longer delivering their paper most days was a terrible idea. They got it: GM's CEO was fired the first day they stopped delivering.

You may think that things like poverty and unemployment and crime ruin a city's quality of life, but according to Forbes annual "Most Miserable Cities" list, it's more about taxes and hockey teams.

A dead body encased in solid ice for who knows how long was found—with only the feet sticking out—in an elevator shaft in a warehouse. In Detroit, obviously. By a reporter. One we know!

Detroiters line up today for items like food, toiletries, and toys in one of the poorest areas in the country, with a vast underclass and barely-perceptible aboveground economy colliding with the long-dead auto industry. [Getty]

Nobody lives in Detroit any more, and nobody reads print newspapers, so maybe it's not so bad that the few remaining Detroit residents can no longer get their awful papers delivered to their burned-out homes.

Congratulations to St. Louis, Missouri for falling to second place in the annual Most Dangerous Cities in America list! Thanks to a strong showing from perennial contender and this year's most dangerous city Detroit, the Gateway City will surely enjoy a year-long renaissance and maybe slightly fewer of its citizens will abandon it. Camden, New Jersey—first place winner in 2004 and 2005—held on to fifth place and New York is ranked a pathetic 130-something. The annual list, compiled from FBI crime statistics, helps reinforce the cycle of poverty, white flight, and neglect that is killing post-industrial America while the rich create unsustainable fantasy worlds on the coasts. And it provides a nice way for a news anchor to fill up 45 seconds.

Detroit Declared Most Dangerous US City [AP]