Today's Page Six asks a very interesting question: "WHICH 'socialite' who's suffering photo withdrawal since socialiterank.com closed got down on her knees for a party paparazzo?

Last night, photographer Mark Seliger nominally "hosted" a "gallery opening" at the new gimmicky Shvo condo in Chelsea, which heinously refers to itself as White Space: A Global Address. There's a gallery in the lobby, or rather the lobby is a gallery. Last night that lobby-gallery (lobbery?) was rather full with socialites and rich men. Derek Blasberg showed up in blue seersucker pants. BFF's Genevieve Jones and Bonnie Morrison both made v. brief appearances. Justine D was deejaying (the Misshapes really started a trend when they deejayed the Starck Yoo building opening.) Probs everyone thought "white space" was code for coke. Nikola Tamindzic was there to capture the confusion.

Though they wanted lotsa jewels and stuff, backyards with swimming pools, bar with stools, fancy foods, lobster, sushi, gear, Versace, Gucci, crazy Lucci, the ladies who gathered atop Gramercy Park Hotel's rooftop garden last night to celebrate Men.Style.com's list of Hottest 25 Women of Fashion instead had to make do with free cocktails, Parliaments and little caviar blinis. We sent the sweet Nikola Tamindzic.

For days now, the most important site on the whole internets has been unavailable due to a server move. We speak, naturally, of I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?, the number one hotspot for relaxing pictures of LOLcats. (Don't pretend you don't know about pictures of cats altered to assert script-kiddy humanoid opinions and actions. Don't pretend!) To get us through this horrible gap in our LOLcat consumption, we've wasted most of the morning assembling our very own set of LOLgays. Mmm, Fridays.

Who's behind the barely literate yet endlessly compelling socialite PR organ cum bitchy LiveJournal that is Socialite Rank? It's become this weird question that everyone keeps asking and no one ever answers. But in anticipation of SR themed expos s in Vanity Fair and New York, not to mention SR's big "announcement" next week, Radar's Sarah Horne has created a poll where you can vote for your favorite suspect. Genius! Crazy genius, in fact, because after dispatching the usual suspects (Lauren Davis, Derek Blasberg, Peter Davis, etc), Radar fingers (ew!) Tina Brown and Harry Evans, among other extreme wild cards. We're voting for Russian fashion writers Olga and Valentine Rei, mostly because it makes total sense to assume that SR isn't written by native English speakers ("It's all leading up to the few crowing events during the next few weeks," reads a recent post). But then there's this analysis of why the poison-pen blogger isn't gossip boy made good Hud Morgan: "His grasp on the English language is somewhat more evolved than whoever pens SR." Actually, maybe SR is Radar's Sarah Horne!

Last week, Columbia MFA student cum socialite Claire Bernard lived a Carrie-Bradshawian fantasy. She got to ring the Nasdaq closing bell! Even better, she got to do so in the company of "writer" Derek Blasberg, who recently blogged about the many burgers he'd eaten during Fashion Week for Jane. We'd never be so crass as to imply that Derek's looking less slender than usual in fashion week's wake, but we do have to single out the Socialite Rank commenter who remarked, "can derek blasberg look more jewish?" Only time will tell, we imagine.

Oh, Derek Blasberg. When you rip off a story about socialites with businesses from the NYT for your column in the London Times, could you at least have the dignity to acknowledge that you're pretty much best friends with all of the people you're writing about? Like, when you're writing about how Tinsley Mortimer will only be interviewed via e-mail ("like other celebrities, she is reluctant to be interviewed be face to face"), we might believe you if you weren't photographed all the time with her. On her lap! With her on your lap!

Derek "Writer" Blasberg's Janemag.com dispatches from Fashion Week are refreshingly raw—by which we mean, completely unedited—and name-droppy (not to mention product/restaurant droppy; are all your meals at Balthazar comped, or what?). Here, come along with us down the Blasberg rabbit hole.

We are so excited that New York magazine picked Fabiola Beracasa as one of their extra-special celebrity bloggers for Fashion Week! She is so knowledgeable about fashion! And she knows everyone!!!!! Let's take a peek at her first entry:

Taken at last night's Fashion Week kickoff at The Box. Village Voice photo caption: "Socialite Tinsley Mortimer and a friend upstairs in the VIP area." Okay, so maybe calling him the Truman Capote to Genevieve Jones' Holly Golightly was a bit of a stretch, but we didn't realize he'd been downgraded to "friend" so quickly.

You can imagine how delighted we are to see the feud- seed that we planted germinating, sprouting, and beginning to bear stinky, bitter fruit: elder statesman of goss David Patrick Columbia has finally seen fit to bite back at the nasty young upstart/s (*cough* Derek Blasberg *cough cough*) at Socialite Rank. SR had emailed us to clarify that the reason they no longer linked to DPC's New York Social Diary was that he was "boring," "dull as a plastic airline knive [sic]," and that his audience "already qualifies for reservation spaces in the cemeteries." David Patrick Columbia has a few choice words for the Rankles, and they're at least all spelled correctly. Snap! After the jump, we translate them from old-people-ese.

Our favorite New York "writer" Derek Blasberg (pictured at right, at Homecoming 1999) was always destined for greatness. Even at an early age, living in a well-to-do suburb of St. Louis, where others may have accepted their suburban lot, he saw that there was another world out there—a world where he could safely escort Genevieve Jones, break up Proenza Schouler, and possibly edit Socialite Rank. In high school, he was already a hit with the ladies—on the back of this photo, he scrawled, "Wish this was you, toots! Love, Derek," and our mole tells us he reportedly sent this exact same message and photo to several other lasses. This enterprising classmate also sent along some other revealing items to Gawker HQ, which you can peruse after the jump.

Yesterday we wondered aloud why the Socialite Ranklers had removed elder statesman of goss David Patrick Columbia's New York Social Diary from their blogroll. Could it have anything to do with a rumored beef between DPC and lead SR-writing suspect, "writer" Derek Blasberg, we thought but didn't say? Luckily, we didn't have to wonder for very long: a clarification landed in our inbox, on the monogrammed SR e-stationery:

As 2006 huffs toward its inexorable end, we decided to take a moment to recognize those personalities that made our job that much more tolerable this year. These are the people who gave us endless fodder for our douchebag mill, who were attracted to the spotlight like moths to a flame, whose stated disdain for our coverage of them was contradicted by their almost pathetic attempts to court it. The adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity has never felt more apt.

Yesterday, after we referred to man-about-town/Genevieve Jones arm candy Derek Blasberg as a "writer" as we wondered, for the millionth time, whether he was behind Socialite Rank, we were greeted by some righteous indignation from one of his hometown homies, a classmate of the 24-year-old Blasberg's from his days at Affton High School in St. Louis. This classmate informed us that Derek should actually be referred to as a bona-fide writer—no quotes necessary!—because of some stuff he's written for Russian Vogue and the Sunday Times of London. Okay, point taken. He's a writer, not a "writer"! But the email piqued our interest in other ways. How did this pretty boy from St. Louis weasel and wangle his way into the hearts of the Tinz and the photos of Patrick McMullan? Is Derek Blasberg the Truman Capote to Genevieve Jones' Holly Golightly? Our overly detailed conclusions after the jump.

We've been sort of idly consumed by the question of who's behind Socialite Rank, though, quite frankly, the question of who's behind the anonymous site seems like a bit of a red herring to us. But we're still willing to entertain guesses, especially convoluted, pseudo-scientific ones. Take this theory that landed in our inbox today, involving a group of six people who've been tracking the site for the last six weeks. They each posted negative comments about various socialite who've been rumored to be behind the site who "could have been using the website for their own benefit." Then they kept track of which comments were deleted. The possibly incriminating results after the jump. (Not that the photo at right has anything to do with the results. Well, okay, maybe it does.)