A New Zealand man was convicted Wednesday of forcibly removing teeth from four women’s mouths while he was having sex with them. Philip Lyle Hansen isn’t a licensed dentist, and the only thing qualifying to yank out his victims’ teeth is that he likes “fat, gummy women” and felt like he was helping them save money on dental bills.

On Monday, America's most famous Type A personality typed a grim little proposition into the Twitter client of her choosing, beckoning her public to follow her to a second blog location like a shirtless man with dirty teeth beckons lost travelers behind his privately-owned service station to show them "some crazy shit."

John Lennon's rotten tooth ended up selling for $31,200 at auction today.

A rotten tooth John Lennon had removed in the '60s hits the auction block next week. The reserve price has been set at $16,000. NBC New York reports:

Glassman Dental Care is located in Manhattan and features a husband/wife team (Steven and Debra) of cosmetic dentists. Here's an ad for the practice, set to the Rihanna/Eminem song, "Love the Way You Lie," but changed to "Love Invisalign."

Oh, excess fluoride in drinking water is actually damaging children's teeth. Sorry!

Last year, the FDA released a report that said mercury fillings are totally harmless when lodged into your head forever. But yesterday, an advisory committee told the FDA to look at new data that might suggest otherwise. Go figure.

Do you have a gap between your two front teeth? Don't be ashamed! In fact, you should run quickly to your nearest modeling agency! That's right: Gap teeth are totally fashionable, right now.

[Lady Gaga brings news of modern dentistry to her German fans at a concert in Hamburg. Pic via Getty]

The Way We Live Now: Gap-toothed. Too poor to get a falsie to complete our smile. Lawyers aren't making it! Kitschy yuppie bars on skid row are losing ambiance! Nine trillion dollars in debt is a lot. A lot.