· Music round-up: Arcade Fire with LCD Soundsystem at the Hollywood Bowl; Trainwreck at the Knitting Factory, Damien Rice at the Greek; Film School at Amoeba.
· Before the notorious harsh Los Angeles autumn kicks in, enjoy the Santa Monica Pier's outdoor screening of Roman Holiday.
· At Book Soup, photographer Pat Graham signs Silent Pictures, his collection of images of bands like Modest Mouse, Fugazi, Bikini Kill, and Blonde Redhead.

No longer trying to hide the debilitating orphan addiction he's developed up since beginning a relationship with Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt admits that he uses kids to make the pain go away. [People]

If the American Apparel folks really wanted to feature "a Lindsay Lohan type" in one of their trademarked, porny hipster-underthings ads so badly, they should have just waited for her to get back from Cirque Lodge. With the underwhelming critical response to her last project and all those insurability issues awaiting her upon her return home to Los Angeles, they almost certainly could've obtained the services of the genuine article for a surprisingly reasonable quote.

Even though the pre-release controversy surrounding Kid Nation, CBS's attempt to bring Lord of the Flies-style improvisational community-building to primetime television, seemed to indicate each episode would bring viewers harrowing footage of exhausted 10-year-olds mistakenly chugging bleach or sacrificing their weakest, most homesick citizens to a pack of ravenous coyotes for the good of an evolving society, the physical jeopardy in which the Nationeers were placed in last night's premiere exceeded anything we were prepared for.

And whatever became, you've not asked yourselves, of Sean Stewart—that puckish heir to the Rod Stewart fortune, who enjoyed a brief moment of notoriety by capitalizing on his boyish good looks and third-grade reading comprehension skills, only to see his leisurely world come tumbling down around him thanks to some hurled masonry outside a Hollywood Hills party? A judge has ruled the case will go to trial:

Only ET has the EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! about the breed of fluffy lapdog brought onboard US Airways Flight 888 by fucking-shirt-reclaiming, rageoholic former running back O.J. Simpson's girlfriend during the couple's airborne journey from Las Vegas to Ft. Lauderdale late Wednesday night: "Christie brought her small black miniature Pomeranian onboard in a dog carrier." [ET Online]

· What showbiz name evokes Rat Pack-era Hollywood cool more than any other? That's right: Brett Ratner. The singularly hacky Rush Hour 3 director, continuing his ongoing mission to diminish the legacies of legends whose lifestyles he desperately wishes to emulate, will reteam with screechy muse Chris Tucker for an adaptation of Mr. S: My Life With Frank Sinatra, a tell-all bio about Sinatra's relationship with his valet. "I think [Ratner's] channeling Frank sometimes," says one the book's authors, rolling around in a pile of New Line's option cash. [Variety]
· Dan Rather opens a can containing $70 million worth of legal whoop-ass on CBS, claiming that the network scapegoated him for the Memogate scandal. [THR]
· DreamWorks Animation runs screaming from a May 2009 box office confrontation with James Cameron's Avatar, moving their Monsters Vs. Aliens to a safer Easter '09 release date. [Variety]
· Fox picks up Raffik, a police procedural about a Borat-like Albanian detective dispatched to the US Americas to amuse the LAPD with his observations about the differences in their law enforcement techniques. [THR]
· The premiere numbers for Kelsey Grammer's Back to You, Gordon "Scorched Bollocks" Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, and the New Mexico Child Welfare Department's Kid Nation are uniformly "solid" but "unspectacular." Also, as expected, plenty of female teenagers watched Gossip Girl. [Variety]

Many awards show viewers still long for the heyday of the late '90s, when unsuspecting stars would recoil in terror upon being accosted by Grand Frock Inquisitioner Joan Rivers, followed closely behind by loyal henchspawn Melissa, one finger held to her ear as she received instruction on the proper pronunciation of "Benicio Del Toro." Alas, after being bumped from their now-legendary E! gig, and banished from the TV Guide Channel kingdom for rumored "difficult" behavior, the only place Emmy watchers can turn these days for a Rivers fix is online, at VH1's Emmys With Joan. Gold Derby's Tom O'Neil wonders if the pair's seemingly shameful banishment to the slums of the blogowebs doesn't perhaps bode well, suggesting the network might take a short break from finding Flavor Flav the skank of his dreams to secure Joan and Melissa a spot on the red carpet:

We have no details whatsoever, but a tipster informs us that CAA's Century City Death Star is currently being evacuated. We'll be happy to pass along more information—a critical breach of the baby-containment unit? a malfunction in the giant rooftop particle cannon that's resulted in the incineration of an entire floor of employees? an emergency Beckham-welcoming ceremony?—as it becomes available. Developing... UPDATE: Still no explanation for the evacuation, but we're told everyone was quickly called back into their stronghold for immediate re-chaining to their desks.

At the premiere of Gossip Girl, an overly excited The OC fan provides series creator Josh Schwartz with a chilling preview of his epitaph: "Oh my God! He's the genius behind Ben McKenzie!" [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]

• Sherri Shepherd Explains The World is Flat remark [YouTube]

Only ET has the EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! on the snack packs and beverages purchased by accused sports-memorabilia-burgling posse leader O.J. Simpson during last night's flight to Florida's Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport: "O.J. purchased a $3 snack pack for himself (the pack included chips, salsa, fruit bar, chocolate bar, cheese and breadsticks) and a $5 chicken caesar sandwich for his girlfriend and paid for the meal with a $50 bill. O.J. drank Coca-Cola and ice water while in flight, while Christie drank a small $5 bottle of red wine." [ET Online]

We know that we already mentioned Var's item about DreamWorks Animation romantic enforcer Jeffrey Katzenberg's response to Viacom CEO Phillippe "Just Fucking Try And Give Me The 'It's Not You, It's Me' Conversation, I Dare You" Dauman's thoughtless comments that the possible end of Steven Spielberg's relationship with Paramount would be "immaterial" to his heart's "bottom line," but the dramatic headline hanging over the story in today's print edition has suddenly reframed Katzenberg's retort.

Only ET has the EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! on potentially dangerous sports memorabilia repossessor O.J. Simpson's seat assignment on his four hour and twenty minute flight to Florida: "O.J. flew coach on US Airways Flight 888 from Las Vegas to Fort Lauderdale, FL, sitting in seat 4D while CHRISTIE PRODY, his girlfriend, sat in 4E. Both the former football star and his girlfriend boarded early. O.J.'s attorney, YALE GALANTER, sat in 4C and had to board with the rest of the passengers. Passengers were laughing and joking with O.J. as they boarded the flight." [ETOnline.com]

We're not sure what keeps bringing us back to Rosie O'Donnell's Flickr page, which offers an unfailingly terrifying glimpse inside the mind's eye of Barbara Walters' former co-host.

While TMZ's Fake Judge Ito finds OJ "guilty as sin," the Real Judge Ito has no public comment about the recently jailed sports memorabilia repo man. [LAT]

Having subjected Defamer videographer Molly McAleer to a number of assignments on the filthy sidewalks of Hollywood Boulevard, we decided it was time she got to class things up a bit and tote her camera to a red carpet, so we dispatched her to the Maxim Style Awards at Avalon last night to see what would happen. Unsurprisingly, an encounter with party ubiquity Bai Ling ensued (who we're not entirely sure exists outside of the event circuit), as did some firing squad time with Brady-loving former Top Model Adrianne Curry. Part I of Molly's video report is above, while the thrilling conclusion—starring a dude from Weeds who discusses his co-star's recent adoption news—follows after the jump:

· Music round-up: New Pornographers at the Henry Fonda; a release party for Baron Zemo's Peanut Butter Wolf & Friends album at the Roxy; The Vacation at the Viper Room. [flyer via LAist]
· The Hammer screens Black White + Gray, a doc about collector/curator Sam Wagstaff that "reveals the symbiotic relationship Wagstaff shared with photographer Robert Mapplethorpe in New York during the heady years of the 1970s and 1980s."
· Titanic-discovering underwater explorer Robert Ballard gives a visual presentation about what he's found while poking around in the Black Sea at the Skirball.

The frustration of getting too many calls from her agent asking, "So, I've got either this Just Friends 2 script, or one where you'd get to play the girl Seann William Scott doesn't know he's in love with yet. What's next for my little Annie?" has finally driven Anna Faris to porn. Well, sort of. [MTV.com]