Quick-triggered DreamWorks mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg was reportedly involved in a simple misunderstanding during a recent visit to New York that resulted in a brief dust-up at the Four Seasons; apparently, a bar manager took a cellphone-toting Katzenberg's friendly greeting of,"Who the [bleep] are you? Do you know who I am?" the wrong way, mistaking the common L.A. idiom that translates to a polite, "Excuse me, dear sir, but I am engaged in some pressing business that demands my immediate attention. Please pardon this brief intrusion," for some sort of hostile expression of Hollywood entitlement. After a clarification, the two men shook hands, and no one was roughly escorted from the premises. [Page Six]

Apparently, we weren't the only ones shocked and saddened to learn that William Shatner's erratic speech patterns and considerable Klingon wrestling experience would not be put to use in the next Star Trek movie. (Some turk named Chris Pine would be playing young Kirk in JJ Abrams' Muppet Babies-esque take on the series.) In Hollywood, however, when one transporter pod closes, another often opens; we're thrilled, then, to direct Mr. Shatner to the following Craigslist casting opportunity for an upcoming major motion picture, tailored to his specific strengths:

While we'd hoped that the foreboding appearance of Alex Perez, Scab Horseman of the Coming Hollywood Apocalypse would instill enough fear in the warring writer and studio factions to nudge them closer to a new deal, it seems that even the repeated viewing of Perez's soul-chilling Dialogue Sample Promo #1 has done little to stanch the flow of bellicose words from frustrated negotiators.

Poppy, Anna, Alice, Oliver and Megan were the big winners at the Fido Awards, for their impressive performances as Queen Elizabeth's beloved Corgies in The Queen, eliciting these good wishes from their award-winning co-star, Dame Helen Mirren: "I know one should avoid acting with animals and children, but these little chaps were a pleasure to work with and deserve all the plaudits for their fine performances." [AP]

· NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker whines that his company wasn't making much money from iTunes downloads of its TV shows, and that the control-freaky Apple wouldn't allow him to "experiment" with raising the prices for one of its series. Also, the greedy Apple is apparently to blame for denying them revenue they would then immediately share with their beloved partners in content creation, their writers: "Apple sold millions of dollars worth of hardware off the back of our content and made a lot of money. They did not want to share in what they were making off the hardware or allow us to adjust pricing." [Variety]
· The feds are sending a nanny to tomorrow's contract negotiation session to make sure that WGA and AMPTP play nice in the final moments before a possible strike. [THR]

Fans of the original Escape From New York can breathe a sigh of relief, as Brett Ratner has intimated that someone else will be handling the ruination of the John Carpenter classic. We suggest that everyone now start praying that some comic book movie in desperate need of his hacky skillset will come along and make Ratner forget all about how much he loves Sinatra. [AICN]

Ellen DeGeneres promises to liven up the Deal or No Deal proceedings when she makes a guest appearance on the hit NBC game show. But unlike past guests, like Donald "The Banker" Trump and Celine "Open Da Case!" Dion, the canine-regifter will join the show's Pyramid of Hot Briefcasemodels. TVGuide.com reports:

As the Hollywood StrikeWatch Doomsday Clock ticks louder (incidentally, we're still working on a prototype that can run in our sidebar and emit a blood-curdling scream every hour on the hour) with each second counted off until the midnight Wednesday expiration of the Writers Guild's contract with the studios, each new instance of pre-walkout saber-rattling takes on an increasing, bowel-loosening poignancy. Hoping to get in a couple of shots at WGA leadership before negotiations resume tomorrow, Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers president Nick "Why Won't These Greedy Fiends Listen To Reason?" Counter chatted with TV Week about his organization's frustration with the union's bargaining strategy:

Over the weekend, a commenter brought to our attention the suspiciously timely appearance of a Wristcutters: A Love Story ad in our Friday evening post about Owen Wilson's much-hyped, but ultimately disappointing, MySpace interview with pal Wes Anderson. We're sure that the eerie juxtaposition of product with related subject matter was unintentional; while our ad sales team has proven they're capable of surprising us every once in a while, they're not nearly clever enough to orchestrate such a stunt. Probably.

Having been burned countless times by the sensationalist tabloid press, Bee Movie star Renee Zellweger did her best to make sure that no baseless eating disorder rumors would distract from her latest project: "The Bridget Jones star refused to make any diva demands for food after a busy day of interviews promoting the film, instead she hunted down where a buffet was set out for journalists and filled her plate. Speaking at the film's premiere, the actress joked: 'Well the food is good in there, [journalists] always get the special food, I had to come and pick up the leftovers!'" [Breitbart]

Ease your disappointment from walking into a Halloween party this weekend to discover that no fewer than five other people had been stricken by the same "California wildfire" brainstorm that led you to char your favorite souvenir Malibu t-shirt by reviewing the weekend's box office numbers:

• Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson [MySpace]

· Wildfires: Arnold fails to find the appropriate Mr. Freeze sentiments to soothe a distraught population. The scoop on your stories. The Britney angle.
· StrikeWatch: The networks eat their own. Scab for hire. Who will provide for the testosterone-fueled fanboys? Standing beside our reality brothers. A new hope? The Great Chair Dispute of 2007.
· Dumbledore: Gay, gay, gay.
· Wes Anderson so sick of the Owen question, he's going to ask it of him himself at midnight. (And we'll be uploading it as near to live as humanly possible.)
· Viva Laughlin is dead! Long live Viva Laughlin!
· We have an Osmond down. We repeat, Osmond. Down.
· Ryan Gosling jumps Peter Jackson's Bones.
· Ellen's back, trying to put the ugly Iggy e-mails behind her.
· Halle Berry's JewishCousinNoseGate is not her finest hour. These giant bazongas, however, just may be.
· David Chase lays it in to The Sopranos' pathetic closure-addicts.
· Defamer returns to the Hollywood Hellhouse, and finds Bill Maher in relatively good spirits.
· Howard K. Stern might not have been the greatest influence over Anna Nicole.
· We dunno. Sometimes you just feel like a gay Indian prince.

Remember all the "creative differences" this, and "he got way too fat" that flying around after Ryan Gosling abruptly left The Lovely Bones? That was all much ado about nothing, says he! It was simply yet another example of the director having gone too young: "I think, people are making it a far more interesting story than it actually is," he says. "The age of the character versus my real age was always a concern of mine. Peter and I tried to make it work and ultimately it just didn't. I think the film is much better off with Mark Walhberg in that role. Peter Jackson is an incredible filmmaker and I'm here to tell you that he has things up his sleeve that are going to blow peoples' minds. I'm going to be the first person in line to buy tickets." Do the bones dance? Is there a giant-ape/T-Rex battle? Who cares! We're there! [Parade]

Friday
· Music round-up: UNKLE at the Echoplex, Rob Thomas at the Wiltern, Something For Rockets at the Getty.
· The venerable Greg Proops does his Chat Show thing at Largo.
· Catch a screening of documentary Larry Flynt: The Right to Be Left Alone, featuring a Q & A with the man himself, at the Paley Center.
Saturday
· Prepare to get your Halloween screenings on: The Aero hosts a triple zombie feature of Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, and Night of the Living Dead. The Silent Movie Theatre hosts a 10:30 screening of a cult classic, the Michael Myers-less Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

Apparently Britney Spears is not having the greatest day at family court. This landed in our inbox: "When asked by an Extra reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, 'Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*%k it!' Spears walked back into the courtroom crying." [Extra]

The Trekkie unthinkable has come to pass: William Shatner—the die from which all subsequent Kirk-alikes were cast, the man who gave scores of marginally talented impressionists a bottomless! Source! Of! Material!—has not been asked to join the voyages of the next big-screen Enterprise outing. (Helmed, of course, by noted Lost architect and Cruise-wrangler, JJ Abrams.) He doesn't seem to be taking the news too well:

Russell Crowe casually let it slip to an EW reporter, "You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on The Quick and the Dead. He was a virgin, and he'd talk about that constantly." DiCaprio's rep later laughed off the assertion, insisting the American Gangster star had gotten his wires crossed and that DiCaprio was "referring to skydiving at the time. He's been happily fucking models since he was 13." [Page Six]