Rejoice, for year-end accolades season is upon us: Like the National Board of Review, the New York Film Critics Circle awarded No Country For Old Men their best picture honors, with Daniel Day-Lewis and Javier Bardem both taking Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor Who Virtually Disappeared Into the Part of an Inscrutable Psychopath Whom You Have to Admit Was Pretty Damn Good At His Job, respectively.
Incredibly sad news from the weekend, via the Reporter: "Rhiannon Meier, vp Red Wagon Prods., and Sam Cassel, vp Scott Rudin Prods., were killed early Saturday morning in Hollywood when their car was hit by an alleged drunk driver. The pair died instantly. Jose Luis Vargas, the driver said to have caused the crash at Sunset Boulevard and Gower Street, was arrested for driving under the influence and booked on suspicion of murder." [THR]
As Hollywood tries to shake off another lackluster set of box office performances and limps towards a more promising frame, praying that some animated chipmunks and Will Smith will save the studios from this malaise before Christmas arrives, have a look at the weekend's disappointing numbers:
· Kiefer adjusts to life on the inside.
· Still striking, still talking.
· Leno kicks in for his employees, but which late-night host can go longest?
· Jodie Foster thanks a Cydney. Or a Sidney. Or Sydney? She didn't specify.
· Women! Power! Hollywood! (It's not as exciting as it sounds.)
· The sound of Armageddon is the sound of Ellen playing bongos.
· Stars of The Kite Runner inching their way towards their permanent safehome at the Oakwood Apartments.
· Barbara Walters fumbles with the fascinating.
· Katherine Heigl on Judd Apatow on Katherine Heigl on Knocked Up.
· "Well, I'll be! Joan van Ark, you haven't aged a day!"
· Dept. of Small Miracles: Carson Daly, back on the air.
· We've got Jennifer Love Hewitt's AssGate Fever!
· Catching up with Chinese Theater Zorro guy.
· The Dr. Phil audience bus crash: There, but for the grace of God, would we never be caught dead.
· Correction: Donald Trump not as generous as previously claimed.
· Larry and Brad: Together again.
· Clooney in the shitter.
· Not only did 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan not offer to impregnate all the women in Rachael Ray's audience yesterday, he taught us a superior version of the old Five Second Rule: "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt."
· Elton John wins a "Maori Academy Award": a bird-feather cloak, which sounds both more fashionable and practical that the little statue Hollywood hands out.
· Please construct your own sketchy British tabloid story based on the following elements: Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, threat, lesbian, sex tape.
· Daniel Radcliffe screams in agony as his favorite Equus prank, "Hey, watch me hump the big metal horse head again!," goes horribly awry due to an unexpected genital-entanglement issue.
· Who could have possibly foreseen that lesser Baldwin Daniel might again run afoul of the law?
The life of beneficient Hollywood superstar/globetrotting United Nations Goodwill Ambassador is not an easy one; just when she thinks she may have finally found a break in her schedule that might allow her to spend more quality time with her well-meaning, monosyllabic life-partner and their multicultural brood of adopted refugees, trouble erupts in a far-flung village, its imperiled residents shine their Jolie Signal (the gun-toting silhouette of Lara Croft) against the darkened night sky, and our heroine iis torn away from her family once again:
Unlike Judd Apatow's last movie, which was hailed by 40-year-old virgins the world over as being the first sensitive portrayal of their shared predicament ever committed to screen, Knocked Up was less embraced by potential knocked-uppees, who felt the female lead had greatly settled for a less-than-ideal lot in life. Star Katherine Heigl addressed her misgivings with some of her character's choices in a recent Vanity Fair, a statement that sparked much debate, and one that she now feels the need to qualify:
We're getting more reports from the scene of this weekend's wedding between gummy Google cofounder Larry Page and yummy Stanford Ph.D. Lucy Southworth. Above, another picture of the wedding tent (click for a bigger version.) Is that an alt-energy windmill on the hill? How eco-conscious! After the jump, a vacationing tipster sends us more details of the goings-on in the Virgin Islands, including a rundown on rumored Hollywood guests.
Friday
· Music round-up: Deborah Harry at the Henry Fonda; Andrew Bird at the Orpheum; the reunited Spice Girls at the Staples Center; Radars to the Sky at Spaceland.
· Comedy troupe Fireball Deluxe is joined by a cast of UCB Theatre thousands (OK, like ten other people) to bring you DadQuest, a magical adventure about four midwestern fathers who have to rescue their kids from the clutches of an evil wizard.
· The Every Picture Tells a Story gallery in Santa Monica kicks off a monthlong exhibit of artwork from The Simpsons with a reception and free screening of The Simpsons Movie at the Aero Theatre.
This excerpt represents exactly how far we read into Sean Penn's mammoth entry on the Huffington Post from earlier today. See if you can beat our record! Good luck: "It's been an odd week. For me, a particularly odd week. But that's another story. So, wait a minute. Iran DOESN'T have nuclear weapon capability??? So, who are we gonna bomb? I want to bomb somebody! Didn't Senator Clinton just vote in essence to give President Bush the power to bomb Iran? If he had done it last week, would that have made her right? I mean, if she knew then what she knows now? Or am I getting that backward? Golly, I'm confused." [HuffPo]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Buster Bluth menacing the Grove Santa with his hook.
Unquestionably, Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass has seen better weeks. Its "hang" has been discussed in great detail on The View, it's been forced onto the cover of People against its will, and the celebrity-obsessed media, always ready to descend like cellulite-craving vultures the minute even an inch of slightly dimpled skin is exposed, have continued to ignore its size 2 owner's public plea for privacy during these difficult times. Current TV laments this sorry state of affairs, compiling two-and-a-half jam-packed minutes of all the rump-related coverage we've been subjected to over the previous five days; perhaps now that we've all gotten this out of our collective system, Hewitt's embattled buttocks can finally know some peace.
If anyone wonders why the WGA is winning the PR battle during the strike, this abandoned sign found at the Paramount lot should make clear how much better Guild members have been at communicating reasonable proposals to the public. On the other hand, a HONK AND DR. PHIL DIES message might have been even more effective in winning supporters for the writers' cause.
If you can manage to get past the slow preamble to this interview on The View with Grace Is Gone star John Cusack (truth be told, we drifted off ourselves, but we're almost positive we heard Sherri Shepherd asking the actor how he manages to so accurately recreate his performances each and every time she plays one of his movies on her Jesus-powered DVD player), there's a small reward waiting for you at the end:
· A happy thought as we head into the weekend: Before joining this morning's negotiations, the WGA released a statement addressing rumors currently circulating that the studios are soon going to accuse the writers of stalling, storm away from the bargaining table until after the holidays, and trash the entire fall TV and spring seasons in an effort to prolong the strike. The Guild assures the public that it wants to continue negotiations for as long as it takes to get a deal done, and that no one should take seriously the full-page THE WGA WANTS TO DESTROY CHRISTMAS ad, featuring a Santa Claus bludgeoned to death with a WGA picket sign, that the AMPTP will take out in major publications on Monday. [Variety]
· The strike has decimated the ratings for late night shows, as TV audiences are unwilling to sit through the repeats that have been running since writers hit the picket line in early November. The Tonight Show has been the most adversely affected, with numbers off 40 percent from last year. Amazingly, viewers are finding that "vintage" Leno episodes featuring the hottest stars of 1994 plugging long-forgotten projects haven't aged well. [Variety]
At long last, The Golden Compass, New Line's high-stakes attempt at launching yet another massively profitable fantasy franchise, opens today, though the buzz on the Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig movie is lukewarm at best (currently a 44% Tomatometer score). Will director Chris Weitz prove he can effectively trade in pastry-penetration for shiny magical trinkets and talking CGI polar bears, or would the overstuffed and overlong epic, as frigid as Kidman after a cosmetic emotion-removal procedure, not even manage to inspire Andy Samberg to roll out of bed this Sunday with a box of freshly baked cupcakes for a matinée showing? A sampling of what the critics are saying:
Is Variety secretly trying to destroy Cate Blanchett's Oscar chances? In an illustration for a strange satirical piece that connects films from 2007 with tenuously related tabloid stories, they've disturbingly grafted Blanchett's Elizabeth: The Golden Age head onto Britney Spears' spangled-underthings-clad, MTV VMAs-era form, creating a pop-star/monarch abomination that will surely haunt the dreams of any Academy voter unlucky enough to flip to page B3.
Once again proving that she has absolutely no flair for the kind of sensationalist buzz-building that might generate some interest in her returning FX series Dirt, Courteney Cox Arquette misses a great opportunity to hint—however untruthfully—that Jennifer Aniston will return in the show's second season to alleviate the viewer blueballs induced by the disappointing kiss the two former Friends shared, finally consummating the hot, Monica-on-Rachel action we still so desperately crave. (But Tom Arnold will be making an appearance. Get excited!) On the other hand, she still won't close the door on a possible Friends reunion, so maybe that inevitable project (hey, Matt LeBlanc's gotta eat) will eventually provide a better opportunity for the fulfillment of this lingering fantasy. [Us]
