Jena Malone, star of the recently released horror film, The Ruins, snapped when a reporter asked her about another film of hers, Into the Wild. The reporter felt the film never fully explained why the main character went into the wild. At first, Malone handled the question with poise and grace and suggested that he direct that question to Sean Penn. Yet the reporter persisted until Malone broke down and stormed away; the reporter followed up his question with another question, "What was with that Donnie Darko movie, anyways?"

Not only does Katherine Heigl lack the sensitivity gene when it comes to her marital bliss, but she's also missing a hefty dose of gaydar. Before her Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight was sweetly outed by since-fired Isaiah Washington, Katie apparently had a big ol' schoolgirl crush on him during the first season. And in standard Heigl fashion, she simply couldn't comprehend why T.R. wasn't showering her with affection after weeks of batting her lashes and sending out ostentatious signals. As The Sun quotes Katie:

Tom Cruise has personally —personally— helped hundreds of people get off drugs. And now he will indirectly —indirectly— get you stoned out of your mind! Yes, there's a new strain of medical marijuana hitting the cannabis clubs called Tom Cruise Purple. The vial it comes in has a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically, and the weed is reportedly so powerful that it makes you hallucinate to the point of seeing Overlord Xenu.

Katherine Heigl was spotted out and about in Los Angeles wearing a gift from hubby Josh Kelley's mother. Heigl may have been all smiles in front of the cameras, but once the newlyweds got into the SUV, it was a whole other story. Kelley was reported to have been seen crying at the corner of Wilshire and Santa Monica Blvd after a tongue-lashing about Katherine's desire to not be photographed wearing Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

As Dolly Parton famously said, "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap." But after learning what Kevin Federline spent most of his money on last year, that catchphrase now has an even more deserving owner. As Us reports, credit card bills recently released by an LA court reveal what K. Fed spends a good chunk of those Britney-given child support payments on: strippers, Las Vegas hotel rooms and plenty of bottle service at flashy nightclubs. The silver lining? When the strippers do their job well, Federline is a generous tipper:

Though hearing about some of the scary diet tactics used by stars last month was unnerving, the names associated with the far from healthy tips weren't earth-shattering: Nicole Richie, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are commonly featured in the weeklies when chatter of weight loss methods comes up. But the highbrow BFF team that is Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham isn't the standard source of speculation. Sure, they're incredibly thin despite pregnancies, but they've so far managed not to be outed when it comes to specific Desperately Seeking Thinness claims. But after a recent sighting at Madeo, Katie and Posh have officially topped the "scary" list of celebs who use outlandish methods when it comes to staying skinny...

Life's not exactly what you'd call a bitch for James Ellroy, Los Angeles crime novelist extraordinaire and co-screenwriter (for the first time) of next week's Keanu Reeves/Forest Whitaker cop thriller Street Kings. Nevertheless, as evinced by today's LA Times profile, the new film is one of the few Ellroy projects — after one hit (LA Confidential) and a succession of misfires (The Black Dahlia) and lost causes (White Jazz) — for which anyone has sustained any hopes coming out of the gate.

· Man, we are SO glad we made the decision not to invest any of our time watching John Adams. Wake us when it's over. [YouTube]
· Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon are fucking a dead horse. Indeed. [CC Insider]
· Hate sci-fi but love international politics? Vulture's guide to Season Four of Battlestar Galactica is just what the spin doctor ordered. [Vulture]
· Mena Suvari not only plays work out tapes by Fonda, but we also hear she's got a motor in the back of her Honda. Most surprising/disgusting shots of Suvari since she took a dump on camera in Spun. [Egotastic]

George Clooney can do no wrong. He's the biggest star in the world even though no one sees his movies (we're looking at you, Leatherheads). Ladies wanna do him, guys wanna hang out with him. Even when he's telling a clearly rehearsed story about Britney Spears, as in the video above, he can't help but be rakish and charming.

· Ani DiFranco is a singer songwriter loved by the Lilith Fair set. Susan Faludi is the best-selling author of Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women, which won the 1992 National Book Critics Circle Award for Nonfiction, and Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man. Tonight they meet at the Hammer. Men, attend at your own risk.
· Break out the hackysack and your finest patchouli-scented cologne for Big Head Todd & the Monsters at the Troubadour. Or, if you abhor hippies, try Schuyler Fisk at the Hotel Café, Sleeping Boy at the Echo.
· See Encounter Point in a Director's Screening Featuring a Q & A with Ronit Avni & Jihad Turk at Laemmle's Music Hall in Beverly Hills.
· Go see the play Sexy Laundry at the Hayworth Theater. It's about middle-aged people getting down.
· The Birthday Boys will be performing at UCB.

As a Jew, I've often heard that my people control the media. That's why on my Bar Mitzvah, I was expecting to be handed the keys to a movie studio and told to "have at it, Ketzele." But, it's been years since that momentous occasion, and still no key. Despite my membership in the tribe, I control almost no media. Today, I finally figured out why. I'm not a member of the Entertainment Council of the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles.

Making good girl Anne Hathaway look bad is no easy feat, but her longtime boyfriend has managed to pull it off by allegedly committing check fraud. Raffaelo Follieri, Hathaway's 29-year old Italian real estate developer boyfriend, was apparently ordered by a D.C. court to pay up $250k in overdue payments to a PR firm, but the check bounced and the NYPD has placed him in custody. Worse yet, sources tell TMZ that when "the bank said insufficient funds, it wasn't even close." Considering we're still worried about paying next month's rent, we'd never deem having less than a quarter mill in the bank embarrassing, but taking Follieri's fancy name and job tile into account, we're thinking it's time Anne found some new arm candy. Especially since this isn't the guy's first run-in with the law...

Actors have finally been found to play the two soldiers in the G.I. Joe crew who most resemble members of the Village People. At least, according to movie scoop site Latino Review they have. G.I. Joe, Steven Sommer's tentpole movie about the legendary action figures, will be hitting theaters in the summer of '09. And so far, the casting news has been pretty ho-hum — you've got your Sienna Millers, you've got your Ray Parks — but today that all changes, thanks to Brendan Fraser and the Rock.

The prospect of Francis Ford Coppola imposing a "sex change" on Javier Bardem had us a million ways of excited (and just a little faint) today — and then we read the fine print. It turns out the director decided during rehearsals for his upcoming film Tetro that a woman would be a better mentor to his title character, played by Vincent Gallo. "As I read and reread (the script)," Coppola told The Hollywood Reporter, "I felt that the interaction between the two characters would be far more intriguing if they were of the opposite sex." Of course, the casting of Spanish actress Carmen Maura had nothing to do with Bardem reportedly "becoming unavailable" while keeping himself open for the Rob Marshall musical Nine, which shoots this fall. A similar scenario arose earlier in preproduction when Coppola, reportedly wanting to "go skeevy" with his lead, instinctively replaced Matt Dillon with Gallo. Either way, we think he's earned the benefit of our doubt. [THR]

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment at which The Real World lost its cultural relevance, but if you were to press us for an answer, we'd have to say it was when the greedy producers at MTV killed their golden goose by launching Real World: Philadelphia less than six weeks after the finale of Real World: San Diego aired. In retrospect, the grand successes of the last truly great RW season were a unfortunate harbinger of things to come for the series as a whole; while the arrests of Brad and Robin made for undeniably great television, it also established a dangerous precedent for the series by making the act of running afoul of the law something for future housemates to aspire to. But we digress — we could talk about this for hours, but we won't. Our point was mainly to say that we haven't watched the Real World in years, and while The Reunion Special / Roast that aired last night had its moments, there was a moment that occured just minutes into the show that, for us, symbolized the de-evolution of the series from a (dare we say) noble social experiment into something that more closely resembles a frat party for community college dropouts.

Should Britney have skipped that whole "comeback" disaster at the MTV Video Music Awards and just headed straight to television? TV Guide is reporting today that Spears is "in talks" to reprise her role as a dermatologist's secretary in love with Josh Radnor's character on How I Met Your Mother, due to critical approval and a dramatic increase in the show's ratings that night. Yahoo reports that the allegedly sinking show drew in 10.6 million viewers tuning in to Britney's episode, compared to the average 7.8 million average for the season. Paired with reports that Brit has reunited with her former manager Larry Rudolph, it looks as though her Comeback Tour has finally been given some fuel, albeit slightly later than scheduled...

Veteran character Bruce McGill or, as he's more commonly referred to, "That One Guy From That One Movie", had his picture taken by the paparazzi yesterday while heading into LAX. McGill apologized to the young photographer about not being that interesting and not that much of a rainmaker.

We knew we had felt an eerie vacuum in our lives during all those countless hours we spent bumping around the virtual universe at There.com. It wasn't until today, however, that we realized it wasn't our deflating lack of contact with the outside world, but rather the absence of Paramount movie clips epitomizing our 2-D avatars' deepest concerns. Thank God for licensing!

These are special times, people. You can take Airplane and Top Secret and shove 'em up your ass, because the golden age of the spoof film is happening right now. Superhero Movie is capturing the hearts and minds of the people at multiplexes nationwide. Before that, Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie set the world alight with laughter for months upon months. And now, the brain trust behind those two masterpieces, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, have decided to leave the ancient world behind and parody something much more formidable: Superbad.

We are shocked (shocked!) to hear this, but word on the street is that the lovely and ever-growing multicultural soccer team united by Brad and Angelina isn't exactly getting along of late. According to Star, animosity and friction is growing among the four little Jolie-Pitts, with personalities growing bolder and fights getting messier. And, unsurprisingly, The Chosen One is allegedly on the brunt of most blows. Most disturbing of all? As a source claims, those cushy lips of hers are only getting bigger as a result of actual physical blows from her siblings: