When we first heard the idea of a reimagined Beverly Hills: 90210, we believed it would be impossible to recreate the teary, teenybop magic of the original series. Who could possibly sneer like Luke Perry? Or turn the world on with his smile like Jason Priestley? But the Rob "Not Matchbox 20 Rob" Thomas-produced spinoff slated for CW's upcoming fall season is charging full-speed ahead, leaking news of potential cast members burdened with the challenge of filling our favorite Peach Pit regulars' Reeboks. Though recent casting announcements have been less than thrilling, two new additions have us busting out our dusty 90210 drinking game rule book once again. As E! News reports, "Producers for the CW's 90210 remake have reached out to Hilary [Duff] to offer her a starring role in the series." News on the other confirmed West Beverly students, plus which alum from the original has signed on to reprise their old role, after the jump.

Perpetually cute actress Amy Adams took a break from being the cute one while out walking her brand new puppies in Brooklyn Thursday afternoon. Adams told the photographer that it felt refreshing to be stopped by children because of her puppies for once, rather than for the usual reasons (which, duh, is because she was in Enchanted). Adams said that her new puppies also distract people from the unflattering haircut she's sporting. "It's for a role," she explained.

Some might say stage moms get a bad rap. They are, after all, represented by the likes of Dina Lohan, Lynne Spears and Joe Simpson (yes, we know Joe isn't technically a "mom", but we'll gladly take any opportunity to mock him that comes along). But as with so many stereotypes, there may be some real truth behind this one. For all three of you who've had the unfortunate experience of watching I Know My Kid's A Star on VH1, it's apparent that the behavior of real-life controlling, abusive and downright lock-up-worthy momagers makes those pictures of Dina and Lindsay downing Jack D. in their underwear look like a Norman Rockwell montage. Our Resident Videographer Wizardess Molly McAleer has taken the liberty of providing ten examples of what it takes to turn your bundle of joy into a self-hating, bratty little future drug user. Hint: Screaming helps a ton. [Vh1]

Uwe Boll's 15 minutes of hammy artistic self-defense are just about through, but we find ourselves increasingly won over with his thrashing, language-butchering viral efforts on his own behalf. And while we're pleased to hear he'll be judging that Uwe Boll Movie Challenge we noted here yesterday, we are total suckers for his latest — and ideally his last — publicity stunt before vanishing into fauxter oblivion. Or, in his words: "Boll against Bay":

After all that misdemeanor-ing, warrant-issuing and not-guilty pleading drama that followed Shia LeBeouf's recent adventures in cigarette consumption, a judge in Burbank on Thursday tossed out those nagging charges of unlawful smoking. "He was cited in February, but court documents did not contain details on the circumstances or location of the offense," reports the AP, but even we know he lit up outside the front door of tacky gift palace Skyblupink to keep those headlines coming in advance of the junket-less Indiana Jones 4. He's tough! He's tender! He's innocent! Works for us, we guess. [AP]

Thanks this week go to AT&T, Beggar's Banquet, Chili's, Crown Publishing, Hancock, Honda Fit, MGM Grand Foxwoods, Random House, Tribeca Film Festival, Unscrew America, Uwishunu.com and VW. If you would like to join this esteemed group of Defamer advertisers, all of the requisite information can be found here.

Actor/director George Clooney faced the United Nations Movie Director Court on Thursday afternoon. Clooney was there to argue his case for not being placed into movie jail for his most recent directional outing, Leatherheads. Clooney attempt to defend the film on its merits as a throwback to the screwball comedy genre and what not, but the jury was simply not buying it. Clooney, realizing that his back was against the wall, boldly admitted that the film was simply a vanity project and asked if Good Night and Good Luck provided him a "get out of jail for free" card. The jury pondered for a moment and asked Clooney if he had any intentions of making any more films with Steven Soderbergh. Clooney shook his head no and stated that it could happen one day, but he had no immediate plans to do so. The jury deliberated a bit longer and came back with a verdict: Clooney was on directorial probation meaning that Clooney would have to act in or at least help finance a film by an arty director like Terry Zwigoff or Pedro Costa.

When it comes to celebrity couples making out in public, you'd think all those beautiful people would know how to make a kiss look hot. They manage to do it on-screen with complete strangers, and frankly, a large part of their job is to hook up take after take and make it still look steamy and unrehearsed, right? But as our slideshow-happy friends at Us have shown us, stars are seriously lacking in the hot and heavy PDA department. While some couples (Drew Barrymore and Justin Long) are downright sweet, and some are disturbingly turning us on at such an early hour (Enrique and Anna Kournikova, natch), we'd like to officially ban any future photos of a select few couples getting down and dirty ever again. The good, the bad, and the nauseating, after the jump:

Vice chairman of Lionsgate Michael Burns' mission to grab the screen rights of me-first philosopher Ayn Rand's libertarian soap opera of a novel Atlas Shrugged ended at a strange place: his Catholic Church. As Burns tells it in an interview this week, he was leaving mass one Sunday when he ran into Ray producers Howard and Karen Baldwin, telling them, "I heard you have the rights to Atlas Shrugged and I'd like to talk to you about that because that is truly one of my favorite books." As all good Rand acolytes know, the stern founder of the philosophy of Objectivism wasn't a huge fan of God or the Catholic Church, once informing the late devout editor of National Review William F. Buckley, "But you are too smart to believe in God!" Burns, who says he attended Rand's funeral in 1982, is all too aware of his heresy, adding, "Ayn Rand's probably rolling over in her grave to think that happened in a Catholic church." Forget about rolling over, Michael. She might be assembling an army of the undead to take care of yo' ass.

· Ewan McGregor is close to signing on for The Da Vinci Code sequel Angels & Demons, the least anticipated sequel of all time. (Don't even try to argue this. It is futile. It's even less anticipated than Ice Cube's Next Monday, Not This Monday Coming, But The One Like A Week From This Monday.) [Variety]
· Rogue Pictures purchased Drill Team, a "female-driven teen dance movie set in the competitive world of high school drill teams" for low six-figures, eventually going on to usher the catchphrase "You've been drilled!" into the popular lexicon. [Variety]

Having apparently run out of the tantalizing audio excerpts with which she's been sustaining our interest in the Anthony Pellicano trial, Allison Hope Weiner is testing a new kind of bombshell today over at The Huffington Post — and it's called "A Possible Mistrial." It's not as sexy as it sounds, but that's not to say it won't be eventually: A government witness testifying to have handled paperwork saying co-defendant Sgt. Mark Arneson was in bankruptcy — a claim he denied under oath — may have actually forged and filed the paperwork herself. Brilliant!

As if to say to the world, "You think Indy's too old? Well, how do you like these rippling, 8-pack apples?" as well as, "I'm smiling on the outside, but on the inside, my chest feels like it's being gnawed upon by 10,000 hungry rats," Harrison Ford took to the depilatory chair recently. It had nothing to do with Crystal Skull, but rather some pet cause that involves deforestation and a Spice Girl. Still, we'd hope his co-star and protégé Greaser LaBeouf will follow suit, with an Earth Day season pledge to submit himself to a Brazilian as a means of encouraging better sorting of compostables. [Access Hollywood]

Like so many other tropes of the 1980s, the theme of busty-teacher-as-sex-predator that fueled many a teen comedy (and locked-bathroom meditation session) appears to be enjoying a resurgence as well, as THR is reporting that J.J. Abrams will produce the unambiguously titled spec Hot For Teacher for Paramount:

For what seems like an entire century, ladies and ladyboys have been anxiously awaiting the release of the ultimate "chick flick," Sex And The City: The Movie (have we mentioned how godawful that title is by the way?). In any case, yesterday we had the privilege of seeing the final one-sheet for the film which is set to open next month. And almost immediately, we began griping about it (annoyingly, just the way Carrie Bradshaw whined over her column's bus ad during the first season). After the jump, we discuss all the various problems with this image, from that dress to that font to, well, almost everything, boiled down into three primary points:

Bucking all the Hollywood dieting trends and fads, Gossip Girl guest star Michelle Trachtenberg enjoyed an ice cream sundae while on set yesterday. Trachtenberg explained that it was a hot day and, quite frankly, frozen yogurt doesn't quite hit the spot on a hot day. However, Trachtenberg did say that she called her personal trainer and notified him that she was going to have some ice cream and that her workout the following day would reflect her decision to have ice cream.

The week that started with Les Moonves and Phillipe Dauman kickboxing in Sumner Redstone's corporate steel cage will apparently end with Dauman retreating to his corner of the Viacom boardroom for medical attention. Or at least that's the impression we glean from today's gloom-and-doom survey of the Great Pay-Cable Cockfight of 2008, during which Paramount broke off from cousin network Showtime after failing to renegotiate an output deal for its titles. On their own now with partners Lionsgate and MGM/UA, even Viacom/Paramount flacks acknowledge finding little comfort in the TV wild:

Think back, to before Tom Cruise the Cycloptic Nazi-Hunter, before Cruise the Android-Baby-Wrangler (but not to Cruise the Goateed Samurai—that's too far), all the way to the Tom Cruise of May 2005: A man in the throes of a love so monstrous, the only way he could adequately relay it to Oprah Winfrey was by mounting the talk show host's couch, and, in a vivid demonstration of Hooke's law, using the coiled energy stored inside her upholstered seating to launch himself 23 feet into the air.

The formerly primmer-than-thou Gwyneth Paltrow's slow and steady progression to kinky-boot-wearing siren has hardly gone unnoticed by the press ever since she began promoting her summer blockbuster Iron Man. But up until now, the sexpot look has mainly been limited to her wildly high, frighteningly strappy S&M-style footwear. Now, she's officially moved on to wearing entire ensembles devoted to showing the world (and the industry) that her uptight rep is long gone. So why use short skirts and lacy, skin-tight dresses to woo the paparazzi? We're guessing Paltrow's picked up on that old-fashioned Hollywood formula used by many an actress looking to catch producers' eyes: a few flesh-baring public appearances can go a long way towards jumpstarting a recently lackluster career.

Deciphering your moviegoing options for the third week running, Defamer Attractions returns today with a look at the final weekend before the studios spill summer in our lap. Today we gauge Tina Fey's chances for box office superiority, corral the highest-profile dog since 88 Minutes (that was only last week? Really?), recommend a certain Oscar-winning actress's directing debut and scan the new arrivals shelf for DVD's of notice. As always, our opinions are our own, but they're also right. You can thank us later!

· By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine]
· Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson's Oscars. [Variety]
· Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood's latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe's Organic Vodka Sauce. That's our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut]
· And since we've clearly got sex on the brain, here's video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man's James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic]
· And lastly, Amy's Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): "Are you aware that Tina Fey's husband looks like this?" Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous]