An early warning to SATC fans reading: potential spoilers lay ahead. That said, we have caught wind of one of the most intriguing (some might argue, the only intriguing) rumors regarding what to expect from the Most Important Movie Of The Year. It involves the possibility that one of the main Sex And The City characters, namely Mr. Big, will bite the bullet in the Cosmo-drenched show's big-screen debut. And director Michael Patrick King has been ingeniously coy when it comes to responding to all the death chatter:

Defamer would like to take just a moment to salute a true American hero — a local filmmaker whose vision, dedication and utter depravity have resulted in some of the bravest and most honest films of our time. His name is Ira Isaacs; you may know him as the maker of such "shock art" (i.e. fetish porn) masterworks as Laurie's Toilet Show, Gang Bang Horse (Pony Sex Game) and Hollywood Scat Amateurs No. 7, and soon you may also know him as the man sent up the river in what Radar today describes as perhaps "the most extreme obscenity trial in U.S. history."

Night sweats? Crippling depression? Physical incapacitation? Yes, you're probably experiencing Celebrity Rehab withdrawal systems. To help ween you off the sweet high of a season spent freebasing Dr. Drew and his ragtag gang of Pasadena Recovery Center misfits, Defamer videographer Molly McAleer brings you outtakes from today's Very Special Tyra™, an episode devoted entirely to the behaviors and mating habits of the drunkus slutticus, more commonly known as the urban party girl. What the girls didn't see coming—not even the one who casually relates the time she totally forgot about the hookup-dampering tampon she was harboring—was that Dr. Drew himself was on hand for a Dr. Drew® Intervention™. With him, his lovely assistant Mary Carey, who saw in these troubled, ladies-of-the-ladies'-night a version of her own, formerly hammered self. Whether they chose to heed her warnings, fearful of a fate in which they too find themselves regaining consciousness on an unfamiliar bathroom floor (a scenario rendered all the more disconcerting once you crawl out of the stall and notice the row of urinals lining the wall) is really up to them. [Tyra]

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

In a cry for help not-so-curiously coinciding with this week's surge in comics-to-film blockbusters, Lionsgate announced Tuesday that it plans to bump up Frank Miller's adaptation of The Spirit from Jan. 16, 2009, to Dec. 25 of this year. And why not? Flanked by fellow Christmas Day releases Bedtime Stories (an Adam Sandler "laffer") and Fox's wobbly Jennifer Aniston/Owen Wilson comedy Marley and Me (not to mention the expanded release of Ron Howard's Frost/Nixon), the Will Eisner crime-fighter is about as safe a late year counter-programming bet as the studio will get. But are there — gulp — Oscar hopes?

If we can rely on American Idol for one thing, it's to witness some of our favorite pop and rock standards get mutilated in increasingly graphic and elaborate ways, like some nubile brunette exchange student wandering unwittingly into an Eli Roth movie. It was Jason Castro who delivered last night's purest moment of armrest-clutching terror, an aural torture in two acts that first required him to channel Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff," apparently as interpreted by a special-needs monkey. Predictably, the performance inspired some extra-vicious critiques from Simon Cowell. (We were a little surprised, however, that none of the take-downs involved the term "dredful," or his envy of the sheriff's sweet, silencing fate.)

We long ago gave up our illusions about Film Independent's annual Los Angeles Film Festival being any kind of authentic showcase for, well, independent film. Like when Transformers launched the fest last year? Right. But that's the biz, and if it takes Universal to step in on opening night June 19 with its Angelina Jolie action thriller Wanted just so we can see the revelatory Russian entry Cargo 200 on the West Coast, then that's a price we're willing to pay. (And hell, we'll probably even check out Wanted while we're at it.) Follow the jump for a few more highlights, including Universal's other graphic novel adaptation closing the fest.

Mixing two high-profile sects like A-list stars and fashionistas will inevitably result in a bit of drama, but at Monday night's Costume Institute Gala, drama took on a whole new meaning. Catfights! Divas! Public Displays Of Aggression! From Christina Ricci's early departure to Peacock King's Jeff Zucker's bitchy avoidance of Darth Weinstein on the red carpet, everyone's claws were out on Monday night. Adding fuel to the fire, one married actress decided to show up to the event sans wedding ring amid rumors of a pending divorce. All the details, including Jennifer Aniston's fling-of-the-week's comments on whether or not the whole mushy affair is for real, after the jump.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

Everyone's favorite daytime punching bag Elisabeth Hasselbeck has undergone an impressive physical transformation in the six months since birthing son Taylor Thomas, shedding every trace of her pregnancy weight and showing off her newly shredded, Survivor-era physique on the cover of this month's Fitness magazine. (An alternate cover, featuring The View co-host in a revealing two-piece bathing suit reading, "Mission Accomplished," was ultimately deemed to be in questionable taste, and rejected in favor of the fetching aqua design you see above.)

Casual nudity enthusiast Sienna Miller became an official card-carrying member of that elite group of celebrities who unleash their hate of paparazzi by way of physical assault. As the Daily Mail reports, Miller swung her pricey purse at one pap's face yesterday at LAX, possibly because he was a resident of Pittsburgh, or maybe she simply mistook him for Jude Law (as the pictures show, there is a resemblance to the nanny-loving baldie). But Sienna's moment of outrage prompted us to recall our all-time favorite When Celebrities Attack moments in time, from Woody Harrelson's caught-on-tape choke-hold to Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz's romantically executed freakout years ago. Our five top picks after the jump:

In a deal forecast by analysts back in March, New York broadcast titans Cablevision yesterday acquired the Sundance Channel for $496 million. The amount was nearly 25% higher than its valuation at the time, and it adds nearly $50 million to the wallet of minority shareholder and Sundance Film Festival founder Robert Redford; his partners at NBC Universal and CBS pocketed the rest. While Redford is expected to stay with the network, it should undergo plenty of other changes — not the least of which will be its transition to a commercial-supported entity. What else would you expect from Sundance other than a word with its sponsors?

Click to viewFor all its confectionery imagery, Christina Ricci scene-stealing and the few other things Speed Racer gets right, it still faces a box-office false start that could make Leatherheads look like a hit in comparison. We sketched a few of the hurdles here yesterday (number one being its own studio's resignation to its underachievement), but at this point there's only one that counts: Larry and Andy Wachowski need to climb out of their hole.

Beyond being an early adopter of the Zipfur coat-sharing system that allows you to borrow an $11,000 mink, use it, then leave it for the next wearer at a designated drop-off point, Lindsay Lohan has been busier than ever with her various acting pursuits. Above, the first photos of her upcoming guest-starring appearance on ABC's Ugly Betty. The images hint at Betty's little-known past spent incarcerated in an all-girls' juvie hall.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Knowing what we know about the traction (or lack thereof) among Iraq films these days, it was curious to see Page Six a few weeks back bashing the tense, tiny drama Battle For Haditha. Directed by noted documentary provocateur Nick Broomfield (Kurt and Courtney, Biggie and Tupac) and even lacking American distribution (though it does open a one-off run Friday in New York), Haditha nevertheless triggered a strong reaction from the gossip mavens: "MASSACRE FLICK CALLED FAKE," their headline screamed, sandwiched between items about Russell Simmons and Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester. We know! We were as surprised as you are:

According to the results of our poll yesterday, you, our angry readers, believe John Travolta is a worse environmental hypocrite than any other celebrity! This one was a runaway. Travolta got 48% of the vote, crushing second-place hypocrite(s) Brangelina, who only got 18%. Barbra Streisand (17%) was a close third, followed by Madonna (11%), Chris Martin (5%), and Leonardo Dicaprio, who you guys must really have a crush on, at just 2%. From the comments, it appears that Travolta's whole "owning five personal planes and having a runway in my yard" thing really pushed him over the top. A wise choice. [Previously. Results rounded to nearest percentage point.]

Madonna can pretty much do whatever she wants at this point and the world will shrug its shoulders, whether she's assaulting Justin Timberlake with needles or spreading her soon-to-be-50-year old legs on album covers. But the vocally-challenged icon has taken her recent trip down memory lane as a pansexual nympho to new heights by inviting a female fan on stage during her concert last night and pulling a repeat performance of Madonna And Britney Spit Swap. Why? As she put it, "Why do I have this relationship with France? I'm always drawn to working with French people - and frenching French people...Vive la France!" A closer look at the kiss step by step, plus suddenly gorgeous daughter Lourdes' reaction, after the jump.

· You just never know what you're going to get on The Martha Stewart Show. Today: We make our own herb garden kits. And later, Glenn Close recalls the time she was buried alive with her husband! Wait—what? [Martha]
· Good news, everyone! Star Jones is dating again. (Or has a snappy-dressing driver/assistant/bodyguard.) And! Is looking sassy. [Bossip]
· Tina Fey is the most adorable anti-film-piracy figurehead since Lucky and Flo. (And we're not comparing her to a labrador retriever. We just think she's cute.) [ONTD]
· Talk Sex with Sue Johanson is ending its six-year run on Oxygen? But where else are we going to get straight-up advice from someone who resembles our sixth-grade English teacher on the proper use of a double-headed dildo? [AP]
· Photobombing is our new favorite pranktivity. And of all the photobombs collected here, this one of a guy shoving a fat finger up his nose while Wilmer Valderrama tries to look like the man with three hot chicks on his arm is our very favorite. [listoftheday]

Even though zombified Whitney and scandal-plagued Audrina didn't have much to teach us on last night's wisdom-packed episode of The Hills, Spencer, Heidi and Lauren blew our minds with life lessons we'll carry with us forever. And despite not saying anything that even remotely resemebled wisdom, it must be said that Justin Bobby, with his new haircut, has officially reignited our Bad Boy Crush phase. Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer worked her magic to present the episode's most eye-opening moments, which we've broken down into three essential bits of knowledge:


1. How To Advance Your Career By Seducing The Boss! Without an annoying dandruff-headed fiance to keep her busy, Heidi is focused on her job as some kind of powerful publicity manager who rose through the assistant ranks by age 21 using one simple method: subtly let your male boss know you want to "get your hands in there" and "make yourself available" to them moments after uncrossing your legs.