Whatever investment we still had in Project Runway—the once-great, now-irritating sartorial decathlon presided over with an iron fist by Teutonic Sealfucker Heidi Klum—it was quickly sapped away by last (Lipstick Jungle!) week's corporate synergistic (Lipstick Jungle!) episode guest-judged by Brooke (Lipstick!) Shields (Jungle!). Still, challenges are at hand, models require fittings, and various Its are in need of being made to Work; so we trudge ever onward, swallowing our basest designophobic tendencies as we endure a violently unlikable bunch.There's of course that blonde freak whose obsessive need to append the suffix "-licious" to any word he cant think of can only be logically explained away as some ugly neurological byproduct of methamphetamine addiction. There's Suede, he of the blue mohawk, because just a wispy, gelled mohawk isn't quite stupid-looking enough; did we mention he goes by "Suede," and refers to himself in the third-person? Is it any wonder, then, that the laser-depilated, elevator-boot-wearing drag cavalry was called in to shake up the proceedings? There's really no following an act like Christian Siriano: This show is a victim of its own fierceness.

A momentous trend apparently began last week in the least likely of places: The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, where the hosts introduced a new "Bleep Photo" feature for particularly saucy and immodest guests. The test drive came Aug. 13 when, while interviewing a pair of women about their ambivalence toward binge-drinking, producers cut out of nowhere to a photograph of a cat eating spaghetti. It was a Random TV Moment For the Ages, rivaling David Letterman's greatest for sheer "WTF"-ness and cultural import. The blip has since been parsed in a variety of formats including FishBowl LA, where it was discovered Monday that the cutaway was merely a "Bleep Photo" to override one of the women's descriptions of being "fucked up."The Soup picked it up as well, rendering even Joel McHale's incredulity unusually authentic. Frankly, we're still confused — but that doesn't mean the idea can't work. Follow the jump for Defamer's own customized "Bleep Photos," culled from both our deep in-house archive and the obscure wilds of the Web. We like cats and pasta and everything just fine, but face it: If you know you're good, then you know you can be better.

While there is very little dignity in being one of three girls repeatedly porked by a doddering 82 year old, The Girls Next Door have managed to do quite well for themselves. Not only do they have a certified hit television show on their hands (Season Five on its way!), but Holly, Kendra and Bridget have also made appearances on Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Scary Movie 4 (not to mention Kendra's recent appearance on the front page of the Wall Street Journal). Despite all of their career successes, it seems that the girls are chomping at the bit for a chance to stretch their acting muscles more than most of their extended cameos call for.For instance, this week's episode begins with the girls gathering together for an impromptu table read of the script for House Bunny, the soon-to-be-released Anna Faris vehicle. After pouring through the script, not only do they find out that their appearance is limited to a single page (Page 78, if you must know), but they also bemoan the fact that they've been reduced to bantering about such silly topics as whipped cream drenched pillow fights. Don't worry, ladies; when Brett Ratner finally decides to get onboard with the project he was born to direct, there'll be plenty of time to sleep your way into a role playing someone other than yourself (so long as it's still a Bunny).

The LAT ran a fascinating piece today on Richard Dutcher, the filmmaker who was anointed the father of Mormon cinema after his 2000 sleeper hit, God's Army, ushered in a wave of Mormon-focused indie flicks. Now, Dutcher is releasing what's being marketed as "the first R-rated Mormon movie" — and it's a doozy, peppered with cursing, nudity and violence. Called Falling, it stars Dutcher as an amoral videographer attempting to figure out his life after repudiating his faith. It's a concept Dutcher knows well, because the father of Mormon cinema is now renouncing his religion:

· The Coen brothers have cast Broadway actor Michael Stuhlbarg and veteran sitcom loudmouth Richard Kind in A Serious Man, a black comedy set in the Midwest of 1967. Gentlemen: you may now commence crapping your pants with excitement, followed 11 months later by the public at large. [Variety] · Toronto Film Festival organizers were thrilled to receive RSVPs from the likes of Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Ontario's own Rachel McAdams. Seven world premieres are scheduled for next month's festival, including Pride and Glory, Dean Spanley, and The Lucky Ones. [Variety] · The Office writer Michael Schur signed a seven-figure deal with Universal Media Studios that will include shared showrunner duties on this mysterious Amy Poehler not-an-Office-spinoff whose arrival will bring an end to all injustice and world suffering. But no pressure, Amy and Michael. [Variety] · Subway Sandwich 911-caller doppelganger F. Gary Gray has signed on to direct Julius, a "contempo urban crime" graphic novel based on Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Maybe it will star Mark Anthony and Lil' Romeo! [Variety] · After a summer test run in which they were pleased to see the host plunging two thumb-talons into Omarosa's eye-sockets in an impromptu display of thrilling daytime bloodsport, Fox has decided to launch The Wendy Williams Show nationally. [TV Week]

Joyce Hyler Update: After spending the weekend hospitalized in critical condition when a car struck her on the Pacific Coast Highway, the inveterate, influential agent/manager/producer has reportedly stabilized in the last 24 hours. "[T]he doctors will likely proceed to obtain another CAT scan with a view to determining what needs to be addressed next," says her family's latest update online. "All of the above is neither good nor bad. What is good is that we avoided emergencies for the last 24 hours and are seeking to build upon that." Meanwhile, Endeavor has organized a blood drive to take place in its screening room tomorrow from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. (Hyler required a major transfusion following the accident), marking perhaps the first time out of thousands that agency blood has been shed in the name of good. The Hollywood Reporter has the details. [CarePages]

Though the CW won't be shipping screeners for its upcoming 90210 reboot, fans can make do in the meantime by tracking any one of the show's delicious backstage dramas — and there's no one more eager to serve dish than Jennie Garth. When we last checked in with the erstwhile Kelly Taylor, she was reaching out to longtime friend Tori Spelling the only way she knew how: not by phone, but in the pages of EW. Now, Garth talks to TV Guide about her much-anticipated reunion with former frienemy Shannen Doherty, and in seeking to quell rumors that the two are still on fighting terms, she masterfully twists the knife some more:

Sporting crisp white jeans and a v-neck shirt, Samantha Ronson took her invisible pitbull on a walk in Larchmont with gal pal Lindsay Lohan. Lohan appeared to be extremely receptive, nearly beaming with pride over Ronson's mini-makeover from black jeans and rock tees. Lohan said, "The summer is over in a couple of weeks, but it's great to see Sammy finally embrace it. And she's also ready for the fall with the cute flannel." Lohan did not want to get her hopes up, but she believed that this is a step in the right direction for Ronson and that a shopping trip to Hollister is probably in their near future.

Pity poor New York — the downmarket reality-TV star, not the city — whose efforts to establish a legitimate acting career have found little yield thus far on New York Goes to Hollywood. Her painful, futile first-episode audition long behind her, the Flavor of Love/ I Love New York alumna (a/k/a Tiffany Pollard) moved on to a potentially huge commercial break last night only to melt down over a faulty prop. But as our mothers always reminded us: If it stings, that means it's healing, and her director's violent jump to her defense spurs a violent Japanese-language brawl suggesting New York may yet have a place at the table in Hollywood. Just not the craft-services table, which — SPOILER ALERT — sadly fares worst of all. Oh well — there's always Episode 4. [VH1]

Spiderman 3 star Kirsten Dunst was spotted sneaking out of a Soho highrise and into a pickup truck this morning. In between projects, Dunst has been earning a second income as a house painter; she's been getting up bright and early in order to finish a house-painting job out in Ronkonkoma. Dunst's co-workers have nothing but sparkling praise for her. One co-worker said, "I thought she was going to be, you know, high maintenance. You know, 'Ew, my clothes have paint on them. Why does it smell? Why do we have to listen to classic rock all day?' But no, she's been a trouper. Some days, I don't think she's showered from the day before."

What looked vaguely at first like a garden-variety Hollywood legal squabble escalated late Monday into the Cuban Missile Crisis of fanboydom: A judge upheld Fox's pending lawsuit claiming that they, not Warner Bros., own the distribution rights to Zack Snyder's forthcoming graphic-novel adaptation Watchmen. The resulting mess is thick, deep and aromatic, with not just two but three studios slogging through a paper trail nearly two decades long. And perhaps the best part: Fox says it doesn't even want to be bought off, instead publicly suggesting they'd rather file an injunction against the breathlessly anticipated film's release next March than not get what it has coming. Which won't happen (at least we don't think so) but that doesn't make matters that much better. But whatever — we love a good Hollywood blood feud as much as anybody. Follow the jump for a morning-after summary, a few pressing questions and a bit of quick-and-dirty handicapping.We can start by thanking Larry Gordon for both the vision and the legal gaps that first got Fox (the original studio to sign on for Watchmen), Paramount (the international distributor) and Warner Bros. (the studio that nabbed the film for Snyder as his 300 came together in late 2006) into this imbroglio. Deadline Hollywood Daily yesterday offered a helpful timeline of events that started with Gordon placing Watchmen at Fox in the late '80s and finally reclaiming it in 1994 when the studio nudged it into turnaround: "The 'turnaround notice' gave Lawrence Gordon Productions 'the perpetual right . . . to acquire all of the right, title and interest of Fox [Watchmen] pursuant to the terms and conditions herein provided.' " And that should have been that; if and/or when Gordon took it elsewhere, he and his new partners cut a check. Alas, it never happened, says Fox, and while Judge Gary Feess didn't rule one way or another Monday, he denied Warners' request to dismiss its rival's claim to the rights that Gordon allegedly never bought back. But how bad is it? Bad enough for Fox to publicly toe the hard line in stopping Watchmen's opening on March 6, 2009:

With The Dark Knight now the second-highest domestically grossing film of all time, some of Batman's friends and co-workers are having trouble convincingly faking their delight over his success. First and foremost among that group would be Superman, with one source claiming the Kryptonian native had gotten "catty" with the cowled vigilante recently, demanding to know if he'd "remembered to celebrate Mother's Day this year," before adding, "Come on, Flash. Let's go play Wii Fit," and storming out of the Justice League cafeteria. It's no secret what the source of that animosity is— Bryan Singer's uninspiring take on the Superman mythos fizzled at the box office, failing to capture the public's imagination—and according to Variety, the very fate of the failed franchise reboot now hangs in the balance:

An irate Malibu resident objected to iconic actor Dustin Hoffman's choice of t-shirt over the weekend. The woman didn't believe that the term "fruitcake" accurately described Hoffman and his career. The woman said, "You're not a fruitcake, Mr. Hoffman. You're a legend. A national treasure. Now, my sister who lives in Florida, she's the fruitcake. No kids, but she's got a spare room full of those little Hummel figurines and distressed Pepsi bottles. I mean, old Pepsi bottles as far as the eyes can see. Who does that?" Hoffman was sorry to hear about the woman's sister and explained that it was a gag shirt. The woman then told the Tootsie star that she understands the role of the gag shirt in society, but that Hoffman shouldn't be stooping to that level.

· We don't know if you'll find Norm Macdonald's bit from last night's Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget as funny as we did, but one thing's for certain—this guy put in exactly the amount of effort that a Bob Saget Roast demands. No more, no less. [Comedy Central] · We remember begging our parents to let us drop out of high school to pursue Colecovision's B.C.'s Quest for Tires full-time. They refused. We're thrilled to report, however, that for one dedicated Guitar Hero addict, things turned out a whole lot better. [Kotaku] · Yo Gabba Gabba! Toys have been available for the entire month of August, says Yo Blogga Blogga, the official Yo Gabba Gabba! production blog. [brobee.blogspot.com] ·If you missed the new The Curious Case of Benjamin Button TV spot that aired on the Olympics yesterday, here's a really crappy reproduction. [/Film]

Good news! This summer has been too full of celebrity ailments and premature passings, so we're pleased to report at least one happy ending: Samantha Who? star Christina Applegate is confirming that she's made a full recovery from her recently announced breast cancer. "I'm clear," she told Robin Roberts for an interview that will air on tomorrow's Good Morning America. "Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. ... They got everything out so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer." Best wishes to Applegate; we're sure Terry will be happy to hear that his beloved "Seeemji" is all right. [ABC]

By all accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's Saturday wedding was a stunning and intimate affair, the two beautiful brides eliciting audible gasps from the guests as they walked down the aisle, trailed closely behind by Iggy the Flower Dog tossing mouthfuls of white rose petals. Obviously, the world bids these two rapturously-in-love and talented ladies a lifetime of happiness together, though it's interesting to see how those good wishes sometimes play themselves out. For starters, we have CNN's headline on the nuptials, noticed by blogger Chexydecimal, which reads, "Ellen DeGeneres 'marries' Portia Rossi." After complaints were lodged, they pulled the scare quotes—floating there like two chubby, hooked televangelist's fingers—but kept De Rossi's last name wrong. T.R. Knight's internalized, anti-breeder wrath nearly ruins the wedding video, after the jump!At the other end of the spectrum comes a video greeting card from People.com, where Katherine Heigl opens the well-wishes with a thoroughly exasperated, "Marriage...[defeated exhalation] marriage..." Glad you're loving it, Kath! Then, T.R. Knight swoops in to give what could very well be the most depressing congratulatory wedding message in history. He almost cracks a smile near the beginning, then pauses thoughtfully for an uncomfortably long moment before launching into a diatribe about "the anger, and rage, and rage, and sadness" he feels at the many wrongs inflicted by this country upon, presumably, Caucasian males making seven-figures a year such as himself. Thank God Jason Biggs is around to add a little—you know—happiness to the proceedings. This dude loves marriage! And breeding! He's a marriage-loving, breeding machine!

9021-Uh Oh! Bad news for television critics accustomed to reviewing fall TV shows early: according to Variety, the CW will not be sending out any advance screeners of its highly anticipated 90210 pilot. "We're not hiding anything," says the network in a statement, "simply keeping a lid on 90210 until 9.02 [ed. note: see what they did there?], riding the curiosity and anticipation into premiere night, and letting all our constituents see it at the same time." Is the CW covering something up, or are they just following an increasingly critic-hostile trend? We'll give them a pass today, if only because they've finally released a photo of Jessica Walter (holding a drink!) as Lucille Bluth...we mean, "Tabitha." [Variety]

We'd heard of some unauthorized twaddle going around focusing on the gay undercurrent of the Summer Olympics, but as far as we're concerned, NBC is doing some of most trailblazing work this year by playing out Beijing's homoerotic currency right in the mainstream. Nowhere is it more evident than the network's Olympics Web site, where after a sleek, soaking stretch of Water Cube drama, a new slideshow today invites readers to guess the rippling abs whose owners made it through the historic week that was.Some are more challenging than others, but not knowing which Australian "recently dropped backstroke to focus on butterfly" or which American "has dominated his best stroke since 2001" (hint: not Michael Phelps!) hardly seems to detract from the guessing-game fun. All that's left now is to determine which of the fledgling Adonises will be first to attempt an unwitting, towel-snapping crossover opposite the latter-day equivalent of Steve Guttenberg and a diving dozen of West Village extras. (Read more coverage of the 2008 Olympic Games.)

While our comprehensive Dummies' Guide to the Jonas Brothers covered most of what you might need to know about the wholesome sibling trio should you, say, stumble into a chat room affecting the guise of a similarly adorable 14-year-old boy in search of some tweenage cyber-companionship, there are of course more advanced topics in applied Jonasology. Consider the following an appendix to your current course materials: VIII. KNOW YOUR WAX REPLICAS FROM YOUR REAL JONASESWho hasn't fantasized about the payday awaiting the first person to successfully clone the Jonases en masse, then sell the replicated musicians—either separately or as a set—to teenage fans, theirs to cycle through on an endless series of chaste fantasy dates. That technology is at least several years away, however, so we'll just have to settle for their wax likenesses, easy to tell apart from the real thing due to one telltale sign: The statues have the kind of shiny faces you might glimpse on actual teenagers, not the porcelain complexions gracing the world's dreamiest pop star family. [Photo Credit: Jeffrey Snyder/Madame Tussauds Washington D.C.]

No matter if it came from Kurt Vonnegut or Baz Luhrman or Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich, "wear sunscreen" is still one of the sagest pieces of advice that we've ever heard. Unfortunately for our young Defamer videographer Molly McAleer, she failed to adhere to this life lesson when she hit the beach this weekend. Hence, she ended up coming home a little bit crispier than expected. Pay witness to her burn and her thoughts for the best things going on in Los Angeles this evening in tonight's version of Defamer To Do's. Enjoy!· Warpaint at Spaceland. · The Science Behind IMAX at the California Science Center. · Children Should Be Seen at the Los Angeles Central Library. · Steel Panther at the Key Club.