Ahoy, job seekers! Remember when we introduced you to the brand-spanking-new Defamer Job Board, our attempt to speed along your slow march to eventual Hollywood domination? Of course you do. From time to time, we'll be spotlighting some of the listings. Just like this:

Because we realize that there are only so many staplers hurled from the hand of a displeased boss one's skull can successfully withstand before call-rolling motor functions are impaired, we're happy to introduce the Defamer Job Board, a service to help you trade in that old, abusive model for a newer, shinier, and somewhat less violence-prone superior. Listing open positions costs just $25 for 30 days, and employers are encouraged—nay, strongly encouraged—to e-mail jobshelp AT gawker DOT com to request coupon codes to help them get started on the process of hiring the person who will eventually murder replace them. So delete those useless old UTA joblists (we hear they cause cancer) and tell the contacts you're wasting time pretending to like over happy hour cocktails to go fuck themselves, for career salvation is a mere mouseclick away.