defamer-jobs

Introducing The Defamer Job Board: Your Soulless Climb Up The Hollywood Ladder Just Got A Little Easier

mark · 03/23/07 04:02PM

Because we realize that there are only so many staplers hurled from the hand of a displeased boss one's skull can successfully withstand before call-rolling motor functions are impaired, we're happy to introduce the Defamer Job Board, a service to help you trade in that old, abusive model for a newer, shinier, and somewhat less violence-prone superior. Listing open positions costs just $25 for 30 days, and employers are encouraged—nay, strongly encouraged—to e-mail jobshelp AT gawker DOT com to request coupon codes to help them get started on the process of hiring the person who will eventually murder replace them. So delete those useless old UTA joblists (we hear they cause cancer) and tell the contacts you're wasting time pretending to like over happy hour cocktails to go fuck themselves, for career salvation is a mere mouseclick away.