So last night: greatest debate ever, right? The vicious babies on stage, God bless , were so busy sniping at each other about who had more Mexicans in their front yards that Anderson Cooper barely had any time to make the cheesy situational jokes that is CNN's calling card. Hoo boy, what a madcap muckfest. Then again, we're kind of worried about Mitt Romney, whose head and a good chunk of his upper torso will soon disappear in a horrific explosion.

CNN's Western Republican presidential debate, held earlier tonight in Las Vegas, was quite a doozy. Of course, the highlight was Mitt Romney and Rick Perry's knock-down, drag-out fight over illegal immigration.

What's going on with Rick Perry and Mitt Romney? Perry—who more or less slept through his first GOP debates—aggressively jumped on frontrunner Romney in Las Vegas on Tuesday night, earning an enthusiastic response from Romney, who gently touched Perry and attempted to teach the Texas governor the rules. Of the debate. You can smell the testiness! All the drama, and tension, of two coked-up frat brothers arguing about politics at 6 a.m.! And poor Anderson Cooper, the supposed moderator, just sitting there there on the sidelines.

The 432nd Republican debate starts at 8 p.m. on CNN and if you're anything like us you'll need someone to commiserate with as you Google "moving abroad" and "living abroad" and "are there Republicans in Montenegro." So come hang out in the comments section!

The metropolitan region of Las Vegas, Nevada, has suffered economic collapse more brutal than anywhere following the bursting of the housing bubble. Eighty percent of homeowners are underwater on their mortgages in some parts of the city. It suffers from worse unemployment than any other major metropolitan region in the country. And now, worst of all, the city will have to host a bunch of assholes running for president in tonight's 432nd GOP presidential debate since Labor Day. Who will "win"? The rich guy always wins.

Okay, sorry, this post probably should have been tagged "NSFW" due to the large image of an old man's melting face. But let's move beyond courtesies: Was Ron Paul's eyebrow collapsing during Tuesday's debate? This image appears to show a fake eyebrow just stone cold fallin' off.

You're probably familiar by now with the trifecta of tragicomic outbursts from the last three Republican debates: cheering for Rick Perry's 234 executions, cheering for uninsured sick people to die, and booing a gay soldier. So what terrible thing will happen at tonight's Washington Post/Bloomberg debate from Hanover, New Hampshire? Nothing, if the Dartmouth's powerhouse newspaper editorial board has anything to do with it!

Stephen Colbert has made no secret of his fondness for Rick Perry, so it was only natural that he'd use tonight's Report to go to bat for Perry against critics of the Texas governor's disastrous performance in last week's Republican debate. The arguments Colbert made while doing so, however, were a bit more unorthodox.

Saturday Night Live opened its 37th season tonight with a parody of Thursday's Fox News/Google Republican presidential debate. Despite being too long and wrought with cliche—Newt Gingrich has a huge head! Michele Bachmann's eyes are crazy!—the sketch managed to work thanks to Bill Hader as debate moderator Shep Smith and Alec Baldwin as the same confused, babbling version of Rick Perry that showed up to the real thing. A video of highlights is above; the full sketch is viewable here.

Last night's tragicomic GOP debate crowd YouTube moment, aside from every time Rick Perry got the mic in the second half, involved a gay soldier asking about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal and getting loud boos from a handful of cretins in the audience.

Why does Rick Perry actually do to prepare for his debates? He should prepare more, because he's terrible at them.

Lots of wacky things were said on stage at the Republican debate in Orlando this evening, but it was Rep. Michele Bachmann who earned herself the Complete Absence of Logic award when she advocated for a zero percent tax rate:

Republican presidential debate audiences, what with their cheering executions and telling the uninsured to just go and die already, sure are great, aren't they? At tonight's Fox News/Google debate in Florida, the crowd stuck with tradition by booing a gay soldier who'd asked about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal. Come for the booing, stay for Rick Santorum equating being gay to "sex."

The Republican presidential candidates are debating tonight in Orlando, shining city of "corporate amusement parks"! Our hosts for the evening are Fox News and Google, who have planned all sorts of gimmicky social media bullshit to whiz by the candidates' faces throughout the evening. Which of these nine suckers will lose the most? Let us consider that, and other concerns.

Last night, CNN teamed up with the Tea Party Express for yet another debate between the remaining 2012 Republican presidential candidates. But before the debate audience could get to cheering for the death of uninsured Americans, Wolf Blitzer spent way too much time on introductory pomp and circumstance. So just like he did the last time CNN hosted a debate, Jon Stewart mocked the network's focus on style over substance on tonight's Daily Show.

In last week's Republican presidential debate, the crowd gave Rick Perry a round of applause when the moderator mentioned that he'd executed 234 people during his time as Texas governor. So was he heartened last night, too, when some folks cheered in response to Wolf Blitzer's question, "Are you saying that society should just let [uninsured person] die?" Nope! That shit scared him.

Wolf Blitzer is "watching very closely" in Tampa, Florida tonight as he moderates a CNN/Tea Party debate between the remaining Republican presidential candidates. On the topic of healthcare, Blitzer asked Congressman Ron Paul what he'd do if an otherwise healthy 30-year-old man without health insurance needed six months of intensive care to survive: "Are you saying that society should just let him die?"

Isn't it just cute, at the end of the day? The Tea Party Express got their very own presidential debate in Florida, thanks to the suckers at CNN. They'll be asking only the best questions, like "What will you do about United Nations Agenda 21?" and "Will you salt the ground over NPR's building after defunding and destroying it?" Oh, golly. Pour a shot of whiskey up your nostril and let's watch!

The Republican candidates for president just debated five nights ago at the St. Ronald of Reagan gravesite in California. Couldn't they just leave us alone for a while, after that? No! We have to have a CNN/Tea Party Express debate in Florida tonight, to allow Wolf Blitzer and some right-wing grifters confuse the American public into the fetal position.

Ron Paul's online army was terrified yesterday to see a Reuters photo from a debate commercial moment in which Rick Perry puts his hand on Paul's arm, points his finger at him, and appears likely to eat his face off. So did Rick Perry beat the crap out of our noble Doctor Congressman while the television cameras were off? According to Ron Paul... no, obviously not.