In an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Wednesday, Donald Trump said he’d be willing to debate Bernie Sanders. “Game on,” read a tweet sent from Sanders’ Twitter account shortly thereafter.

Ted Cruz may never be president, but there is one thing the American public can’t withhold from him—a debate forum. Today, he tested his skills on a random Trump supporter, who answered each of Cruz’s arguments with a salient counterpoint: Who cares?

When Donald Trump got booed, loudly and often, during the Republican National Debate Saturday, he blamed it on an audience stacked with “donors and special interests.” Turns out, he wasn’t wrong.

Saturday night’s hellish Republican debate covered nearly everything: mooning, 9/11, and even a quick Spanish lesson. But one important policy issue no one even touched on? Vaping.

The dialogue during the Republican presidential debate on Saturday evening got heated. So heated, in fact, that it devolved into an entirely different language, giving everyone in the audience a fun glimpse at the Spanish skills of the candidates who want to expel many of this country’s Spanish-speaking residents.

Ted Cruz’s latest enemy hates him about as much as his own daughter does—and it’s not even another presidential candidate.

Marco Rubio, once a young, wide-eyed Senator with a thick head of hair and a skip in his step, was once thought to be the GOP’s best bet. Now, he is a caricature of a broken robot.

North Korea confirmed on Sunday that it launched a satellite into space in the early morning, calling the move “peaceful,” despite no one believing that for a second.

You may not like Bernie Sanders as a presidential candidate, but you’ve gotta admit, this man’s got some pretty expressive peepers.

The undercard of tonight’s GOP debate (yes, another one) began at 6 p.m. on Fox News, a time when very few people are at home engaging with their televisions. The debates are so openly pointless that Rand Paul didn’t even bother to show up to this one, choosing instead to do anything other than listen to Rick Santorum’s fossilized god warrior shtick for the hundredth time.

The upcoming Republican presidential debate just did Rand Paul and Carly Fiorina the dirty.

Jeb Bush, by some measures, despises conflict. This is, of course, an especially curious personality trait for someone running for a presidential nomination in one of the largest fields ever. Case in point would be Bush getting railroaded multiple times by John Kasich in last night’s debate.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a man not really known for a cool demeanor, is totally cool with being “transferred” off the main stage for Tuesday’s GOP debate — in fact, he says it’s not even a demotion so don’t worry about it because he’s not worried about it at all.

A little secret of political journalism is that the vast majority of it is just some jerk’s opinion, which has a scientific value roughly equal to your own idiot opinion.

After nearly three hours of monotone droning by a bunch of sweaty old people who will almost certainly never be president, tonight’s Republican debate finally delivered with a bizarre question about potential Secret Service names that produced incredibly absurd answers from every single candidate.

Imagine a drama kid—without good looks, singing or dancing ability, who wants to be president, is pretty sure your opinions suck, and thinks you’re an idiot. You just imagined a college parliamentary debater. And who do college parliamentary debaters think are irritating, pitiful jagoffs? In the 1990s, it was Ted Cruz.

The third and final mayoral debate took place Wednesday and, like the first and second debate, nothing really happened. At least nothing notable enough to damage Democratic candidate Bill de Blasio’s 39-point lead in the polls.

Joe Lhota’s family spent Wednesday campaigning at the Arrochar Friendship Club in Staten Island where elderly white people complained about Bill de Blasio using the “race card.” Lhota himself did not attend because he was busy preparing for tonight’s final debate at 7 p.m. EST. Watch live here.

According to Twitter, the vice presidential debate was entirely more lively than the first presidential debate. According to Joe Biden, the vice presidential debate was very funny—nay, hilarious. The current VP chuckled almost every time Paul Ryan opened his mouth. But who can blame him when Ryan changed his mind at least three times over the course of the debate, still could not produce numbers to back up his tax plan, and basically said that his reason for wanting to outlaw abortion is that his daughter once looked like a bean? Seriously.

The vice presidential debates are tonight. We expect and assume that, as in most elections, the debates—and the subsequent election—will be decided primarily upon the basis of which candidate most fully embodies the wise teachings of Gawker Media fitness columns. Well, shut it down, Biden has won, no need to show up today, might as well stay home and moisturize, "SNOWFLAKE" Ryan.