DC's crippled panhandlers on the Obamanauguration crowd: cheapskates. [Examiner/ Wonkette]

Are you going to the Obamanauguration? I'll be there! But only to get a good deal on "coins, stamps, jewelry and even a small handbag" directly from QVC:

After being pwned by Politico, the Washington Post is launching a secret new political website in two weeks, and has hired TPM's Greg Sargent as blogger-in-chief. Politics and blogs, together? It just might work. [TPM]

More details have emerged on how the White House is bravely defending the DC area from the freeloading Obama family and their rowdy entourage. No adults allowed, it's neocon party time!

In 1992, suave Billy Clinton was sexin' the nation and wearin' boxers, and MTV had a big ole inaugural ball that was reportedly the hottest ticket in DC, even though Don Henley was the main act, which just goes to show once again that political people are really not cool when you get right down to it. But during the Bush years MTV had no inaugural balls, because Bush was so non-embodying of the Music Television vibe, you know? Well now Barack Obama is president and MTV is once again having a big cool inaugural ball! This is the single worst consequence of Barack Obama's election. [Ad Age; pic via]

Wow, here's a clip that doesn't make you envy Neel Kashkari. The hawk-eyed Ferrari lover who's been assigned to run the government bailout of our dead financial system took a little trip up to Capitol Hill today to speak to Congress about how all that money is being used. Rep. Elijah Cummings did not appreciate Neel's tone! "Let me tell YOU something," he hollered at Neel, whose eyes went wide. He recovered well though. Neel, you are one unlucky sacrificial lamb, buddy. Watch the rage of Cummings below:

The annual War Against Christmas is starting again! This is the time of year when secular humanists and other assorted anti-American forces do various things to undermine Jesus, such as asking for the term "Holiday party" to be substituted for "Christmas party," and requesting that Jews, Muslims, and members of other blasphemous religions be "included" in things. But this year it's even worse, because some atheists have started a public ad campaign designed to destroy God! Fox News is taking this threat very seriously:

Hey, Washington DC is getting its very own newspaper fashion magazine! The New York Times has T, which makes enough money to pay for the other, real news bureaus; the Wall Street Journal has its new glossy weekend magazine, which debuted with a model on the cover; and now the Washington Post has decided to celebrate DC's fashionistas with... a "newspaper insert"?

Despite an absence of any "news," every political magazine and newspaper is rushing to publish special "St. Paul and Denver" editions for the political conventions. CQ, Roll Call, and The Hill are publishing on-site daily! Politico will be there! Local papers are throwing everything they have at the event! National Journal expects big things! Meanwhile, all the high-powered attendees will be getting drunk and occasionally checking the New York Times on their iPhones, and the smart reporters just stay home and make shit up. The real reason for the outpouring of journalistic effort:

Craig Seymour is a college professor who was living a boring little life in Washington, DC when he said, quote, "Fuck it" and became a gay stripper. And now he wrote a book about the whole thing, as strippers who are also writers are wont to do. And you'll never guess who Seymour's good "cool ass white boy" pal was back in the day. That's right, internet politigossipmonger Matt Drudge! Who loves nothing better than soap operas and Chaka Khan remixes:

This is the one little sentence of text [click to enlarge] from the legal complaint that may bring down Spitzer. The Times confirms that "The man described as Client 9 in court papers arranged to meet with a prostitute who was part of the ring, Emperors Club VIP, on the night of Feb. 13. Mr. Spitzer traveled to Washington that evening, according to a person told of his travel arrangements." [NYT] The full text of the legal complaint can be found here.

What's going on in our nation's capital? I'll tell you what: Bloggers! Four young, liberal bloggers occupy a single row house in DC, meaning that a major paper is contractually obliged to cover the phenomenon as a trend. A slow-moving, couch-based trend. We learn that the roommates in "the Flophouse" send IMs to each other when they're all at home; that they write about stuff that goes on the house on their blogs; and that "These bloggers are the cool kids who know they're smart, like some Seth Rogen character with a Ph.D. from Harvard's Kennedy School." Sure! This antisocial scene reminds me of nothing so much as the current incarnation of THIS:

New York Observer media reporter and chronic party-goer Michael Calderone has ankled the pink paper for Politico. [Fishbowldc]

We enjoyed Hamilton Nolan's bitter screed against D.C. reporters and their annual skit-performing love-ins with Dick Cheney and Co.—but thought it could use a local rewrite. Lesse... How about: "Every year night, usually in the Meatpacking District, the same reporters charged with covering our most important television celebrities and media conglomerate-owning millionaires come together to fawn over those same celebu-millionaires and perform acts of slavish self-congratulation that make light of our most serious televisual and business-empire crises. For journalists, whose reputation now hovers around that of used car salesmen who moonlight as back-alley hookers, these kinds of events are the best PR of the week. This is totally normal source-development work; this is a also semi-private spectacle that, fairly or not, comes to exemplify the public perception of a duplicitous, do-nothing media in the nation's world's capital." There! That feels a little better.