Any David Lynch fan worth his/her salt will know that the only thing that he likes more than collaborating with Angelo Badalamenti is drinking coffee. (Smoking American Spirits is a close third). And as any David Lynch fan also probably knows, David Lynch launched his very own line of organic coffee a few years back. What does this have to do with the price of tea in China, you ask? Well, anyone who has spent some time on DavidLynch.com knows that as talented as he is behind the camera, he hasn't quite mastered e-commerce yet (for example, the "buy" link on his site is not functional). All of which is a long-winded way of letting you know that if you've always wanted to try his signature coffee line, it's now available at the (generally) reliable Amazon.com. And if you get Amazon GC's sent your way as much as we do, well, this news oughta be sweeter to you than the cherry pie at the Double-R. [Amazon.com, vid via YouTube]

It was cute way back yesterday when we heard that Werner Herzog and Nicolas Cage are remaking Bad Lieutenant for a new generation of prurient cinephile wonks, but the novelty of Herzog's random-ass pairings requires a certain period of recharging to retain maximum effect. Which is perhaps why the potency of his other forthcoming, newly announced collaboration with David Lynch (!) on "a horror-tinged murder drama" doesn't have us positively reeling with anticipation.

Our dissatisfaction at Friday's news that Guillermo del Toro would inherit the Hobbit reins from Peter Jackson met with a mix of scorn and curiosity over the weekend. "Pony up an alternative, Cochise," wrote a commenter. "Destroy those two GENIUSES and all we will be left with is Lucas and Spielberg. And that is not a world I wish to live in." Us neither! That said, if the Laws of Hollywood Franchises dictate that this goddamned movie must exist, we can think of at least five talented directors off the tops of our heads whom we'd prefer over del Toro, Jackson or any of the other usual fanboy fantasy suspects. Tell us your own ideal hires after the jump.

David Lynch is disgusted that anyone would watch a movie on a phone. "You will never in a trillion years experience the film...you'll be cheated," he says in this clip from the special edition of Inland Empire. While it's obvious that films like Eraserhead demand something better than 480x320 pixels, is Lynch honestly that horrified that someone might want to watch "Failure to Launch" on the subway?

One of those little people storming the Post's newsroom last night was Robin Sherwood, who almost died at a party in Miami last week but was rescued by Paris Hilton. "Wee-man took me out partying for three days straight and I forgot to do my dialysis, so I kind of blacked out," the damaged-kidneyed little guy told Page Six in their office last night while breakdancing on a desk. (Seriously.) This took place, incidentally, on Page Sixer Paula Froelich's 8-year anniversary of Page Sixing. We were going to send her a really ugly stripper but this sort of wins, in that "Punk'd" meets "Mulholland Drive" way. [Page Six]

Director and awards season cow wrangler David Lynch makes no secret of how he feels about the encroachment of corporate interests upon his stubbornly abstruse cinematic meditations. (Quoth: "Bullshit. Total fucking bullshit.") That isn't to say that he's above whoring himself out for the occasional contract work, however, as he has agreed to direct a TV spot for a new Gucci perfume, according to a press release from the fashion house's unsexy parent-company fragrance licensee, Procter & Gamble. From The Stylephile blog:

For those of you who found last week's David Lynch promotional stunt for Inland Empire too geographically inconvenient to attend, you have a second chance to catch the director, his trusty cow sidekick, and various signs celebrating Laura Dern's performance in person, where you can possibly absorb some of his cryptic wisdom on the origins of cheese. Alerts a reader apparently unaware that Lynch and his bovine prop previously graced a corner in Hollywood last Thursday:

In what we hope completes our multimedia coverage of yesterday's publicity stunt, in which David Lynch mysteriously appeared on the corner of Hollywood and La Brea with a cow and copious promotional signage for Inland Empire, we pass along this clip, submitted by two guys who claim to have been driving by the site and who were so delighted by the bovine/auteur tableaux that they took a moment to talk to the infamously quirky director, capturing on video some Lynchian (really, how do you avoid that word in this context?) wisdom about the provenance of cheese.

This excited (though secondhand) report just landed in our inbox:

As breathlessly reported by every news outlet on Earth yesterday, Google buys YouTube for $1.65 billion. Meanwhile, CBS makes a deal to split the ad revenue from "daily, short form content" they'll provide to YouTube, and to divide up any money they might make by selling ads around material posted by users that violates their copyrights. Fun! [Variety]
· David Lynch will self-distribute his latest film, Inland Empire, which promises to be even more incomprehensible than Lost Highway. [THR]
The still-iffy Studio 60 rebounds 12% from last week's disappointing numbers, despite the show's baffling insistence that a preachy monologue about America dropping Hot Pockets along with bombs was even remotely funny enough for a writer to bother stealing. [Variety]
Not wanting Wal-Mart to hog all the retail chain exortion fun, Target writes a letter to the studios hinting that they might not support their DVDs if cheaply priced movie downloads cut too deeply into their home video business. [THR]
Terrence Howard joins Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man as the hero's confidante/rival who probably won't get his own armored set of Underoos until a sequel. [Variety]

Blogger *glassShallot caught David Lynch's travelling lecture, "Consciousness, Creativity and the Brain," last night at USC, and apparently, the man who brought us the backwards-talking-soft-shoeing-dwarf and daily LA weather reports is starting to get a little weird: