They weren't necessarily the best, just the most popular. You saw our least popular posts before getting trashed on New Year's Eve. Before you stop caring, here are the 20 most clicked on posts of 2009.

Coroner-to-the-stars Michael Baden says David Carradine's death was not a suicide, and was caused by asphyxiation. You don't say?

• The father of Mercy James, the girl being adopted by Madonna, says he has no plans to object to the adoption, and a nanny and nurse have already touched down in Malawi to take care of her. So it looks like the little girl will be climbing aboard Madonna's jet to head to NYC any day now. [Reuters, DM, Sun]
• David Carradine's funeral took place in LA on Saturday and more than 400 mourners turned up for the occasion, including Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Jane Seymour, Tom Selleck, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Edward James Olmos, and Rob Schneider. [Us, AP, People]
• Jeff Goldblum, who is 56, and his new girlfriend, 21-year-old Lost actress Tania Raymonde, "can't keep their hands to themselves," which may explain why they've been seen "making out all over town." [AMNY]

Just as some had speculated, New York-based forensic scientist Michael Baden announced this afternoon that he has reviewed the case of David Carradine and ruled out the possibility of suicide, to which we say, duh!

• It looks like it's over for Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. Please excuse us while we go get a big box of tissues; we really weren't mentally prepared for news this upsetting this morning. [People, Sun]
• A couple of weeks ago, it was Gwynnie Paltrow who was getting blamed for setting A-Rod up with Kate Hudson. Now real estate "superagent" Adam Modlin is taking credit for brokering the transaction. Go figure. [NYDN]
• Maybe Kanye West and Amber Rose didn't break up, after all. Or maybe they did break up, but they're spending a lot of time together anyway? It's a mystery, really. [P6]
• Coco Rocha is not going to be an intern at Vogue this summer. She's just spending a lot of time there so she can "learn more about the business." [WWD]

Upcoming autopsy results will say that Kung Fu actor David Carradine did in fact die from autoerotic asphyxiation, the New York Post reports. Not surprising, given his proclivities. But this judgment does not necessarily rule out death by ninja.

Leo the Great dumped Bar Refaeli, Britney Spears is banging her agent at William Morris, Miley Cyrus dumped her boyfriend and is after Nick Jonas, Lauren Conrad's new novel will be horrendous, and David Carradine bought lots of sex toys.

• The British paparazzi have seen it all over the years, but even they were surprised by a shopping expedition by Beyoncé in London last week. The singer required two chauffeur-driven cars/limos and a small army of bodyguards to escort her to the store. Even though it happened to be located about 15 yards from the front door to her hotel. [Telegraph]
• On-again, off-again couple Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli appear to be in "off" mode, according to People. But Us says Bar and Leo are still together and even have photos of the couple shopping yesterday to prove it. Say a little prayer and hope for the best, won't you? [People, Us]
• There doesn't seem much doubt about the status of Kanye West's relationship with model Amber Rose. West's rep has confirmed that it's over. [P6]

• It looks like Heidi and Spencer Pratt and NBC concocted yet another clever PR stunt over the weekend. Heidi was rushed from the set of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! to a hospital in Costa Rica for a stomach ulcer and later blamed NBC for "torturing" her. For its part, NBC is reminding the public they can see what really happened on an upcoming episode of the show. [NYDN, E!, TMZ]
• The police had to called to the Greenwich estate of Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant on two occasions last Thursday after Seymour got into an altercation with Brant's bodyguards. [P6]
• Why did David Carradine end up dead in Bangkok hotel room? According to his family's lawyer, it may have been the work of a "secret sect of kung fu assassins" who "silenced" him because he was looking into "their shadowy activities." Or it could have been a case of autoerotic asphyxiation since according to his ex-wives he had a thing for being tied up. [NYP, NYDN]

On Sunday the New York Post ran an article in which attorney Mark Geragos suggested that David Carradine was murdered by "groups working in the martial-arts underworld" and "secret societies of martial artists." We know what that's code for! Ninjas! Reports the Post:

A Bangkok tabloid ran a photo of David Carradine's hanging body that was leaked to them in this morning's edition. The rather disturbing photo definitely shows the actor's hands tied above his head. There's something eerily off, here.

Quentin Tarantino, Michael Madsen, and Rob Schneider went on Larry King last night to remember their friend David Carradine. They said he would never commit suicide. So, Larry asked, what's the deal with the rope? Awkward silence.

When Kung Fu simulator David Carradine was found hanged to death in Bangkok hotel room closet Wednesday, suicide was reasonably suspected. But now, evidence seems to be pointing to one of those grisly masturbation accidents:

• Madonna's backup dancers haven't been making friends at the Bryant Park Hotel. Reports a staffer: "They are presumptuous and cheap. Nearly every one of them have stiffed their bellman and servers, and what's worse is they have tons of stuff." [P6]
• The situations continues to deteriorate for Lindsay Lohan: She's rumored to be pawning jewelry to pay the bills. [Star via Popcrunch]
• Britney intends to "drop by Buckingham Palace" and say hi to the Queen when she's in London, which is awfully generous of her, isn't it? [Mirror]
• The circumstances surrounding David Carradine's death are still a little murky. Suicide? Sex-related accidental death? The investigation is still underway. [People, Us, TMZ]

David Carradine, who died yesterday at the age of 72, was one of those unique American drifter/wander/philosopher spirits. From his martial arts to his music, he radiated a zen-like calm. Here's a brief compilation of the mild master in action.

David Carradine, who starred in Kung Fu and Kill Bill Vols. I and II, was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room yesterday. A Thai news report says it was a suicide, but his agent in L.A. says it was "natural causes."

Every so often, a magical combination of celebrity and odd circumstance birth a Special Edition of our PrivacyWatch feature. A reader gives us David Carradine, a fast food joint, and a wandering canine: